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Theme Changer

 Topic: Gratitude

 (Read 4876 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Gratitude
     OP - April 23, 2012, 03:32 PM
    This practice and habit actually changed my life. I used to suffer from deep depression since I was 17. There were many reasons behind it but I didn't realize until a fateful martial arts class how important gratitude was.

    My teacher (who actually was a fucked up asshole) one day very angrilyy exhorted me to be more grateful. wacko For some reason it was what I needed at that time, and my mind involuntary realized how important gratitude was to happiness.

    Practically every self help book on the planet states that developing a habit of gratitude is essential to happiness - I concur. These days I don't do any specific practices (though I have in the past) but I've simply developed the habit. I haven't suffered from depression for years, and I know that gratitude was an essential part of being becoming happier. Though I could always get better at that skill, so I'll probably go through a period of practicing gratitude again.

    You can practice gratitude in many ways, like; saying outloud for 1 minutes all the things you are grateful for, keeping a gratitude journal where you write down a dozen things daily, making a work of art expressing the things you are grateful for, focusing your sense of things you're grateful for, etc.

    You can be grateful for everything from; a pleasent memory, to having heating, to having your chair to sit on, to a trait someone has, to a trait you have, etc.

    You can practice it daily, every other day, 3 times a week, once a week - whatever feels best for you.

    Give it go if you're feeling low - it might help.

    Here are some vids that show the power of gratitude;

    Gratitude brings happiness;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFc5-nEUdfs

    Benefits of gratitude

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRrnfGf5aWE

    Teaching kids gratitude;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNWHf3qzCPw
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #1 - April 23, 2012, 03:39 PM
    Here's a great documentary called; the happiness project which showed how incredibly simple practices of gratitude, laughter, exercise, and small goal setting changed 3 people's lives.

    Part 1
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYHQfuz2u28

    Part 2
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQwxMtyfomM

    Part 3
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Laiq4-RAfog

    Part 4
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z88Dft11U2o

     Afro Afro Afro
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #2 - April 23, 2012, 03:45 PM
    You're on a roll with these feel-good threads, strangestdude. Thanks for the positive perspective, bro.  bunny
    "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
    Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #3 - April 23, 2012, 03:47 PM
    You're welcome.

    But thank Berbs too, I wouldn't have done it if she didn't prompt me (and we wouldn't have this forum without her Tongue).
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #4 - April 23, 2012, 04:57 PM
    Lol but the forum wouldn't keep going without Os and the other staff or the great members we have managed to trap here with us.   grin12


    Also I agree, those moments when i feel gratitude for my life are on good days.  I almost feel like my former self, but maybe a better version of she. 

    Maybe we can use this thread to express the things we are thankful for?  obviously not in that "I would like to thank god for....." , cos we are depraved heathens and that would break the heathen moral code.  But just to say, hell yeah, I am thankful that luck, or whatever it was, whatever you want to call it, well I am thankful for that.

    Thankful to have been born in the UK.  I'm not patriotic, I just appreciate the luck that meant I was born somewhere that allowed me the freedom to be me.

    I am grateful for my friends, but I don't have to thank anyone for that, just myself for making sure I am a good friend in return.  I'm grateful/thankful that I was lucky enough to meet them, but I put the leg work in to keeping them.  It's positive to acknowledge the part you play in maintaining your friendships.........or it is to me, one of my tattoos is the word friendship in arabic, it is that important to me.

    You know the more I think about this list of things I am grateful for, the more I realise I don't have to just feel grateful for them, I get to recognise that should be grateful to me.

    Grateful I have a roof over my head or able to respect myself for keeping it?  since any monkey can get a flat in a zoo, can they keep it? 

    So in my rambling I guess what I am saying is that recognising what you have to be grateful for, can also lead to recognising the part you play in it, and a chance to respect yourself as you do.

    Am I making any sense? 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #5 - April 23, 2012, 05:26 PM
    I didn't watch the videos, sorry.  Embarrassed Videos bore me...

    BUT you're SO right!!! Gratitude is such a good mindset cuz then you look at positive things in your life. Whenever I talk to a Muslim about my doubts in Islam, they always tell me to be more grateful to God for all the things He's given me, which, I guess, makes sense.

    The only thing I don't get is (and maybe the vids answered this, sorry), who/what are you being thankful to? I don't understand why a person should be thankful when it's all luck? Undecided

    Quote from: BerberElla
    Maybe we can use this thread to express the things we are thankful for?  obviously not in that "I would like to thank god for....." , cos we are depraved heathens and that would break the heathen moral code.  But just to say, hell yeah, I am thankful that luck, or whatever it was, whatever you want to call it, well I am thankful for that.


    Yeah! I am thankful [whispers: to God] for my family and my friends, and for my family's sustainable & regular income, and for having a strong family background so that I feel confident, and for the fact that I am not depressed and that I feel happy most of the time.

    I am also thankful that I am able to discuss/think about my doubts with other people, and in that process come closer to the truth, whatever it may be. I am also thankful that I am able to read and explore all the thoughts of those who came before me, and that the Internet is such a good place to find new ideas and also crush old ones. Tongue Even though that last one is kind of hard.

    I am also thankful for this emoticon:  dance cuz I love it. Smiley
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #6 - April 23, 2012, 05:41 PM
    Im Thankful for...
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #7 - April 23, 2012, 05:42 PM
    Stop trying to sell your thread to us Tongue


    Man, this forum has a lot of hate and not a lot of gratitude based on how far that thread went.  Grin
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #8 - April 23, 2012, 05:44 PM
    Quote from: Cato on April 23, 2012, 05:41 PM
    Im Thankful for...

    Real smooth.
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #9 - April 23, 2012, 05:49 PM
    Quote from: The Wyre on April 23, 2012, 03:45 PM
    You're on a roll with these feel-good threads, strangestdude. Thanks for the positive perspective, bro.  bunny

    +1 Afro

    @strangestdude:
    I like the videos you post too -- at least the ones I watch.
    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #10 - April 23, 2012, 05:53 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on April 23, 2012, 05:42 PM
    Stop trying to sell your thread to us Tongue

    What? It needs to be revived

    Quote from: chepea on April 23, 2012, 05:44 PM
    Real smooth.


    What can i say? Tongue
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #11 - April 23, 2012, 06:50 PM
    @Strangestdude: thank you.

    @TheWyre: who is in your avatar, sister?
    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #12 - April 24, 2012, 06:28 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on April 23, 2012, 04:57 PM
    Lol but the forum wouldn't keep going without Os and the other staff or the great members we have managed to trap here with us.   grin12


    Yeah. Thanks guys Afro

    Quote
    So in my rambling I guess what I am saying is that recognising what you have to be grateful for, can also lead to recognising the part you play in it, and a chance to respect yourself as you do.

    Am I making any sense?


    Yeah you're making sense to me. Afro You can be grateful for the traits within yourself that bring you benefit.

    Gotta love the power of gratitude, eh?

    Quote from: chepea on April 23, 2012, 05:26 PM
    The only thing I don't get is (and maybe the vids answered this, sorry), who/what are you being thankful to? I don't understand why a person should be thankful when it's all luck? Undecided


    From wikipedia;

    Gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling, emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.

    Being grateful doesn't mean you have to be grateful towards a sentient being. It can be simply an acknowledgement to yourself (verbal, written, or otherwise) that something has given you benefit. Though sharing your appreciation with others, and for others traits or actions, is of great benefit.

    Hopefully you can see that gratefulness doesn't require Theism?
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #13 - April 28, 2012, 11:27 AM
    @strangestdude,

    Sorry, I forgot about this thread!! For some reason, it just randomly popped into my mind today. Sorry!

    Umm...

    Quote
    Being grateful doesn't mean you have to be grateful towards a sentient being. It can be simply an acknowledgement to yourself (verbal, written, or otherwise) that something has given you benefit. Though sharing your appreciation with others, and for others traits or actions, is of great benefit.

    I understand being grateful towards, say, your parents, or your teachers or whomever. But just "acknowledging" something doesn't seem to be the same as gratefulness to me.

    I mean, for you to be grateful to someone/something, doesn't that person need to have put an INTENTION to help you, hence your gratefulness?

    If I'm lucky enough to win the lottery, and let's say I'm not a theist, then why am I being grateful to luck if it didn't intentionally help me? I guess you can feel happy anyway, but not really grateful...
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #14 - April 28, 2012, 03:51 PM
    I don't see why you require intentionality?  Huh? We can acknowedge that something has benefitted us (ie. be grateful) regardless if the benefit was intentional.

    Maybe we'll just have to agree to disagree. No biggie.
     
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #15 - April 28, 2012, 04:01 PM
    Quote from: chepea on April 28, 2012, 11:27 AM
    I mean, for you to be grateful to someone/something, doesn't that person need to have put an INTENTION to help you, hence your gratefulness?


    Sometimes people can help you without meaning to. Sometimes even in their indifference or in their bad intent, people can end up helping you - at least help you learn something, figure out what you don't like about yourself, and become a better person. In that way, I could be thankful, for example, to someone who's bullied me, because they helped me be more empathic and learn to value myself and not take things so seriously, and be helpful and kind to others.

    Quote from: chepea on April 28, 2012, 11:27 AM
    If I'm lucky enough to win the lottery, and let's say I'm not a theist, then why am I being grateful to luck if it didn't intentionally help me? I guess you can feel happy anyway, but not really grateful...


    In that case, I would feel grateful towards myself, for having bought that lottery ticket, to anyone who convinced me that I should do so, or pooled in with me, to the provincial/state govt that holds the lottery allowing me to win, and maybe to Giacomo Casanova. Can't really be thankful to an abstract, unseen, uncommunicative concept like "luck".
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #16 - April 28, 2012, 05:16 PM
    @allat,

    Thanks for your reply! Smiley

    Quote
    Sometimes people can help you without meaning to. Sometimes even in their indifference or in their bad intent, people can end up helping you - at least help you learn something, figure out what you don't like about yourself, and become a better person. In that way, I could be thankful, for example, to someone who's bullied me, because they helped me be more empathic and learn to value myself and not take things so seriously, and be helpful and kind to others.


    I agree, but you're just thankful that it happened, right, and not actually thankful to the bully himself? I think that in that case, you're being thankful to a vague sort of "fate" that people may see in life, and I think that's seeing life as having some sort of spiritual/moral direction or growth, which I don't think is compatible with atheism (IMO).

    Quote
    In that case, I would feel grateful towards myself, for having bought that lottery ticket, to anyone who convinced me that I should do so, or pooled in with me, to the provincial/state govt that holds the lottery allowing me to win, and maybe to Giacomo Casanova. Can't really be thankful to an abstract, unseen, uncommunicative concept like "luck".


    So if someone doesn't win, should they be mad at themselves?

    If you win, that's totally luck isn't it? In any case, it's not due to your intentions or Casanova's intentions, because everybody buys lottery tickets with the intention of winning, but 99.9% we lose anyway. The intention isn't what made you win. It just gave you that opportunity.

    I'm confusing myself. Tongue Sorry.
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #17 - April 28, 2012, 05:42 PM
    Quote from: chepea on April 28, 2012, 05:16 PM
    So if someone doesn't win, should they be mad at themselves?


    YES! finmad WHY DO YOU THINK I NO PLAY LOTTO NO MORE??
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #18 - April 28, 2012, 05:44 PM
    Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
    Self ban for Ramadan (THAT RHYMES)

    Expect me to come back a Muslim. Cool Tongue j/k we'll see..
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #19 - April 29, 2012, 02:25 AM
    Quote from: chepea on April 28, 2012, 11:27 AM
    I understand being grateful towards, say, your parents, or your teachers or whomever. But just "acknowledging" something doesn't seem to be the same as gratefulness to me.

    I mean, for you to be grateful to someone/something, doesn't that person need to have put an INTENTION to help you, hence your gratefulness?

    It seems to me that attribution is an afterthought. Feeling grateful is a visceral, emotional warmth rather than concise and realised thought. When it is genuine, at least.

    Attributing it to an agency seems to be extra and later. As in; I feel very grateful, and now I've had a moment to reflect upon how I came to feel this way, I appreciate the thing or person that made me feel this way, and I will perhaps express my gratitude. Or in the case of religious gratitude; I feel very grateful, and now out of habit I will go through the extra superfluous motions of thanking a god. The former is manners, the latter is indoctrinated duty. Neither are necessary in feeling grateful. Though, expressing gratitude includes others in the experience and is rewarding in itself.
    Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #20 - May 02, 2012, 10:09 PM
    I was enjoying this being grateful thing a good deal. There are so many things to be grateful for. So many people would be happy to be in my shoes. However... I just realized that if I have to practice being grateful to feel better then my life still sucks. Fuck.

    Quote from: Ishina on April 29, 2012, 02:25 AM
    It seems to me that attribution is an afterthought. Feeling grateful is a visceral, emotional warmth rather than concise and realised thought. When it is genuine, at least.

    Attributing it to an agency seems to be extra and later. As in; I feel very grateful, and now I've had a moment to reflect upon how I came to feel this way, I appreciate the thing or person that made me feel this way, and I will perhaps express my gratitude. Or in the case of religious gratitude; I feel very grateful, and now out of habit I will go through the extra superfluous motions of thanking a god. The former is manners, the latter is indoctrinated duty. Neither are necessary in feeling grateful. Though, expressing gratitude includes others in the experience and is rewarding in itself.



    You're probably right as usual. But I think it's just two different things that are called by the same name (gratitude) that are being confused here. Gratitude because it feels good is one thing. Expressing gratitude to a conscious being for doing a good thing (morally right that is) even if the action did not make you a lucky guy/girl is another. Separate, rename, problem solved.
    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #21 - May 02, 2012, 10:26 PM
    Quote from: strangestdude on April 23, 2012, 03:32 PM
    My teacher (who actually was a fucked up asshole)

    It's funny how many teachers of transcendent disciplines are fucked-up arseholes or use the discipline primarily to bandage or camouflage their own wounds.


    Which doesn't of course mean that you can't learn from them or be grateful for the knowledge you gain.
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #22 - May 03, 2012, 06:21 AM
    Quote from: Alex Lam Meem on May 02, 2012, 10:09 PM
    I was enjoying this being grateful thing a good deal. There are so many things to be grateful for. So many people would be happy to be in my shoes. However... I just realized that if I have to practice being grateful to feel better then my life still sucks. Fuck.


    I disagree, one of the things that 'positive psychology' researchers have found is that our circumstances generally have less impact on our general happiness, than our interpretation of those circumstances, and stress management practices.

    Practicing gratitude is a way of retraining our thinking habits - they've already been 'trained' to lack gratitude. Gratitude IMO is simply as skill, some develop it unconsciously and some have to develop it consciously.

    Check this out;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_URP3-V1sY4
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #23 - May 03, 2012, 07:19 AM
    @SD

    Stop telling me to stop wanting what I can not have. Of course it's in my head (40% if you believe science of happiness) but here's my issue with this approach:

    Religious people have been changing what they want and limiting their aspiration to power and money and other good stuff because of religion for millennia. They were told that such is the will of God. If they were poor, they were made happy by fairy tales of paradise and with appeal to baser desires by implying that the rich (the ones they envy) will not go there, ergo will suffer greatly. (Injeel, some chapter, some verse). That's control of the masses. I don't want to be happy this way.

    What do we have with science of being happy? Essentially the same just without God - whatever you have  is only 10% of your happiness (might as well be nothing for all the practical purposes), 50% is destiny (genes) and 40% is free will. What should you will to do with your life - serve others (be helpful: video 3:10), delude yourself (be optimistic about future) and just stop wanting what others have since not getting it is making you sad. Awfully similar. I suppose paradigms change but human nature doesn't.
     
    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #24 - May 03, 2012, 08:08 AM
    Practicing gratitude - as presented by 'positive psychology' - isn't the same as condoning or resigning yourself to your circumstances. And IMO and IME gratitude doesn't cut off the innate desire for well-being, creative fulfilment and curious exploration - basically we'll still exert effort and have goals.   

    I think the problem with religion is that it - sometimes - exhorts gratitude whilst imploring people to solemnly resign themselves to their circumstances.
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #25 - May 03, 2012, 08:31 AM
    Fine, my conspiracy theory failed, you win, brother SD. 
     cheers

    Our paths will cross again. Now I need to come up with new negativity - the battle must go on
    Thinking hard
    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: Gratitude
     Reply #26 - May 03, 2012, 09:29 AM
     Cheesy
    An alternative to religion;

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
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