Hass, i dont want to interrupt your conversation, i just want to awnser your first question with the view i, as a life long atheist, have on this topic.
For me, there never was a god i could blame. I just accepted that some things (like earthquakes and other natural disasters) happen, and i cant do shit about it. I can help the people affected by it, but theres nothing to be angry about. You cant be angry with nature.
Then theres the stuff people do to other people. In those situations i just get angry with the idiots did whatever they did.
I could here take the tsunami and september 11. I never asked myself why god did this, or got angry because he did. The tsunami was horrible, and i was shocked as were most other people. But at 9.11 Humans killed Humans. For me there was no higher power to blame, just the people, even if they were deluded by a believe in Allah, that did this.
I never had the comfort of blaming a higher power on bad things that happened to me or my family. But its kind of comforting to know, that humans dont have power over everything. We are still inside the great game of chance that the universe is.
But in the end, this few lines cant really describe how an atheistic mind that never knew faith in a religion works... I still hope it helped in a way, even if just with a little insight