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Theme Changer

 Topic: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell

 (Read 21321 times)
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  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #30 - September 11, 2011, 10:50 PM

    Yes and when you keep failing to control them you end up pathetic.
    Anyway I think my husband might have perfected the art of conceding just enough for the old man to save face and then walking out the door and doing it his way.
    As long as the money keeps coming I don't think he cares too much anymore anyway.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #31 - September 12, 2011, 02:22 AM

    I wanted to start a new thread for this but I thought it could fit in here. The video below is not that funny.. but read the video description i've posted below:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRd9aZUPA6A

    Only virgins are allowed to disagree with my point of view.

    Chicks hate me. I accept that.

    Islam give the death penalty for rapists. It is one of the most disgusting crimes in the world. There are many hadiths, which show the rapist getting killed based on the testimony of 1 witness.

    Don't get stuck in a situation where you are alone with a girl. Bad things will happen. You can't fight against your hormones. I know that you think you are strong but in reality you are bitch to your hormones. Your hormones is your slave master.

    Why don't you get married young but just wait to have kids. Parents are making it so difficult on their kids. They won't let their kids get married until they are finished university and have a good job. So that means, that they can't get married until they are about 30 years old. Just teach them about condoms and stuff.

    I have a solution to the problem that is happening in the middle east right now. There are lots of older women who are divorced and can't find a husband because the number of women are greater than the number of men. So why don't young guys who are about 16 years old get married to one of these older women. Let's say she is 45 years old. Then by the time he is 30 and has finished school and has established himself, she will be 65. Then he can take another wife who is his own age or a bit younger. The younger wife won't feel jealous about the older wife because she is very old.

    Or just let them get married and teach them about condoms at a young age.

    Otherwise problems are going to happen. You have to have a solution for them. You can't just leave them to suffer.



     Cheesy

  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #32 - September 12, 2011, 03:07 AM

     Cheesy Cheesy

    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #33 - October 20, 2011, 12:09 AM

    My own parents are forcing me to marry a so called 'respectable' muslimah .. I mean they are alots of things wrong .

    She is respectable .. means she wont be naughty

    She is a Muslimah.. Means she would be asking me to pray pray pray

    What the hell.. I hate it ..
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #34 - October 20, 2011, 01:06 AM

    My own parents are forcing me to marry a so called 'respectable' muslimah .. I mean they are alots of things wrong .

    She is respectable .. means she wont be naughty

    She is a Muslimah.. Means she would be asking me to pray pray pray

    What the hell.. I hate it ..


    So exactly how forced are you?
    I just watch a video about in UK it is illegal to force marriage and this law helped a lady in India (maybe not sure).
    It had something to do with the International Court (I think)

    Would your family totally disown you if you don't marry the lady?
    Do you know the lady at all?

    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #35 - October 20, 2011, 02:29 AM

    For me it wouldn't necessarily be a forcing of, rather a constant nagging. icon_blahblah

    "Live a good life. If there are god(s) and they are just, you will be rewarded based on virtue. If they're unjust, then you shouldn't want to worship them. If there are no gods, you will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of others."

    -Re-interpretation of Marcus Aurelius
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #36 - October 20, 2011, 03:41 AM

    I honestly don't see how anyone can be actually forced into marriage, except by the most violent of parents.

    In which case in most jurisdictions the marriage is invalid as a contract of adhesion, I would think.

    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #37 - October 20, 2011, 01:22 PM

    In the video (a documentary)I watched the computer (sure I don't remember all the details exactly) the woman's family at one point tied her up according to her testimony. Also they had her put in a mental hopital.
    When I was young I lived in Indonnesia. Some families were very hard on their children to marry just exactly who the parents chose. In some cases in those families the young people just did it and it seemed to be good. In other cases the rebelion was great and the sadness was unmatched. In other families the choosing of a marriage partner seemed more like the great deliberation. If young person doesn't like parents choice then might ask Grandfather or an Uncle who is older then their Dad for help. All the time being very careful how everthing is said, so as not to openly act the rebel  For example asking them to suggest a certain person for them to marry without of course saying their parents had already selected some one.
    I suppose this may even have changed it has been a long time ago.

    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #38 - October 20, 2011, 01:49 PM

    My dad was forced to marry my mum...he even told her that she wasn't his choice on their wedding night  wacko

    Dad was 19 and mum was 17 i think. Dad was rather aggressive and short tempered, now they just get along, but it's due to years of fights etc, and sticking together that's now matured them to 'settle' I guess.

    My grandad wanted to get my dad to marry a second wife too, but dad didn't thankfully.

    "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor E. Frankl

    'Life is just the extreme expression of complex chemistry' - Neil deGrasse Tyson
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #39 - October 20, 2011, 03:15 PM

    So exactly how forced are you?
    I just watch a video about in UK it is illegal to force marriage and this law helped a lady in India (maybe not sure).
    It had something to do with the International Court (I think)

    Would your family totally disown you if you don't marry the lady?
    Do you know the lady at all?


    My family will totally leave me . Though I will try to emotionally blackmail them and try my best to explain them that its evil , may be they understand that even in islam force marriages are not allowed.

    I know the lady , she infact is quite boring.But Its her choice , on how she wants to live.I wonder why she is not saying no, may be she is also forced to marry me .The lady almosts knows that I am not interested in her.

    I am finding different ways.. to explain my parents that I wont marry her.No matter what the situation becomes.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #40 - October 20, 2011, 04:00 PM

    My dad was forced to marry my mum...he even told her that she wasn't his choice on their wedding night  wacko

    Dad was 19 and mum was 17 i think. Dad was rather aggressive and short tempered, now they just get along, but it's due to years of fights etc, and sticking together that's now matured them to 'settle' I guess.

    My grandad wanted to get my dad to marry a second wife too, but dad didn't thankfully.


    My dad wasn't exactly forced to marry my step mum in any physical sense, but she is not the woman who he proposed to.

    When he went to morocco he was pressured into agreeing to marry a moroccan so he proposed to my step mums younger sister, since she was attractive (looked like amira from eastenders lol) but he parents said no, she is too young, take this one instead, and my dad just did it. 

    He has treated her like shit ever since, but they are in that "settled phase" where she is desperately unhappy and he doesn't give a fuck and is just waiting to die.

    Pretty sad really, the way a person's choices are just stripped away with emotional blackmail, cultural expectations and in extreme cases, sheer force.

    The parents don't have to spend the rest of their lives with the choice they push on their child, their child does and its sad that none of them can see how horrible it is to have such a lifelong choice taken away from you.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #41 - October 20, 2011, 04:25 PM

    My family will totally leave me . Though I will try to emotionally blackmail ....may be they understand that even in islam force marriages are not allowed.

    ....may be she is also forced to marry me .The lady almosts knows that I am not interested in her.

    I am finding different ways.. to explain my parents that I wont marry her.No matter what the situation becomes.


    I hope you find a way for them to understand. A way for you and your parents to come to a good unerstanding.

    My daughter married a man I did not approve. I told her all the reasons. She thought I was wrong and told me all the reasons. There wasn't to much loud talking, a lot of emotions. She is my beloved daugter. Well I was not as wrong as she thought I was. She is still happy in many ways and I do not worry my daugter or grandchildren are in harms way.

    Of course I never would threaten to or actually turn my back on her for such a thing.

    Perhaps things will work out for you.

    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #42 - October 23, 2011, 10:34 AM

    My dad wasn't exactly forced to marry my step mum in any physical sense, but she is not the woman who he proposed to.

    When he went to morocco he was pressured into agreeing to marry a moroccan so he proposed to my step mums younger sister, since she was attractive (looked like amira from eastenders lol) but he parents said no, she is too young, take this one instead, and my dad just did it. 

    He has treated her like shit ever since, but they are in that "settled phase" where she is desperately unhappy and he doesn't give a fuck and is just waiting to die.

    Pretty sad really, the way a person's choices are just stripped away with emotional blackmail, cultural expectations and in extreme cases, sheer force.

    The parents don't have to spend the rest of their lives with the choice they push on their child, their child does and its sad that none of them can see how horrible it is to have such a lifelong choice taken away from you.




    This!

    It is so bizarre how it continues to perpetuate though. You would think that after all that one generation has suffered, they would not want to impose the cultural restrictions on their kids, and yet so many folk still end up pressuring their children to do the same things that made them so unhappy in the first place! :(

  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #43 - October 23, 2011, 02:58 PM

    I hate it that parents think they have the right to choose their childrens' spouses! But I guess I have our culture to blame, and my parents parents!  finmad
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #44 - October 23, 2011, 03:06 PM

    This!

    It is so bizarre how it continues to perpetuate though. You would think that after all that one generation has suffered, they would not want to impose the cultural restrictions on their kids, and yet so many folk still end up pressuring their children to do the same things that made them so unhappy in the first place! :(


    I guess this is like the continuing circumcision of women by women who have suffered themselves.  Its do deeply ingrained it allows no room for change.

    My dad would never have forced me to marry someone.  This he always made abundantly clear.  We were free to accept marriage proposals we liked, and could say no if we didn't like it.  He hated the idea of using force for that, because of his own experiences and how unhappy he was with how it ended up.  He was just adamant that the person not be black, convert or not this was not acceptable.  But even then I reckon he would have accepted that if the dude was muslim.  That is all he really cared about.

    In that one small sense, my father was good and managed to not impose that on his kids. 

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #45 - October 23, 2011, 03:13 PM

    I get the sense it's much more deeply ingrained in Pakistani families than those from North Africa or the Levant. With Gulf Arabs it's probably bad too, but with Pakistanis the whole arranged marriage thing seems almost pathological. I generally get the sense for Muslims from that part of the world, cultural traditions are as important, or even more so, than religion itself-- often for the worst-- I mean I can't think of anything in Islam that mandates your family choose your bride/groom for you, but there are a lot of South Asians who treat the practice as if it were divinely mandated.

    fuck you
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #46 - October 23, 2011, 05:14 PM


    High rates of cousin marriage adds an extra intensity to forced / coerced marriage situations and correspond to particularly high rates of them. Thats the case in the UK amongst Mirpuri Pakistani community especially in the north of England. I'd wager that if you did a survey of other Muslim communities where cousin marriage isn't so prevalent, there is more breathing space for young people relative to that.

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #47 - October 23, 2011, 06:00 PM

    I get the sense it's much more deeply ingrained in Pakistani families than those from North Africa or the Levant. With Gulf Arabs it's probably bad too, but with Pakistanis the whole arranged marriage thing seems almost pathological. I generally get the sense for Muslims from that part of the world, cultural traditions are as important, or even more so, than religion itself-- often for the worst-- I mean I can't think of anything in Islam that mandates your family choose your bride/groom for you, but there are a lot of South Asians who treat the practice as if it were divinely mandated.


    As you once said in a previous thread Q-man, "If there's one thing I've learned from this forum it's that Pakistani families are relentlessly nagging drama queens."

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #48 - October 23, 2011, 07:44 PM

    My dad was forced to marry my mum...he even told her that she wasn't his choice on their wedding night  wacko

    Dad was 19 and mum was 17 i think. Dad was rather aggressive and short tempered, now they just get along, but it's due to years of fights etc, and sticking together that's now matured them to 'settle' I guess.

    My grandad wanted to get my dad to marry a second wife too, but dad didn't thankfully.


    Same here, my father was in a relationship with a Hungarian woman(he didnt tell us about her till 4 years ago when he was trying to discourage my cousin from marrying a woman that is from another tribe) in 70's when he went there as a student.it was my grandfather that pushed him to come back home and settle down which he oblige. That was how he was introduce to my mother who is 13 years younger than him. She was 18.

    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #49 - November 09, 2011, 09:24 PM

    Oh well, the Pakistani Muslim, I was with for 5 long years of my life, who I was told, fought his family for years to be with me, eventually succumbed to the pressure from his family and got married to a girl from his city and his religion! And all of it behind my back!

    I was told about his wedding, only after they were done with it. Worst is he kept claiming his affection for me, even after his wedding. And in fact, when I didn't respond to any of his claims, he made his mother call me up, and she even did!!!  Smiley (Well his entire family, including his aunts, uncles and cousin, knew about me from the very beginning! The reason for our separation, I was told, was my unwillingness to convert to Islam, since unless and until I convert, our marriage would not have been recognised!)

    Strange rather cruel, that he went on and married a girl behind me my back, and then eventually claimed his affection for me behind his wife's back!

    He kept claiming, I am the only one he belongs to, and was hoping for some miracle, that would unite us forever! DUH! He even said it after his marriage, in fact tried giving me hope by saying perhaps later, when everything's sorted out and he's able to bail himself out of the situation!!!

    Anyway. Makes me sad. I still do not know, if he was actually forced to or it's just a piece of fiction narrated to me... 5 long years of my life, and now I don't even know if it was all genuine or complete BS...

    Needless to say, it has affected me deeply!
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #50 - November 09, 2011, 09:29 PM

    The reason for our separation, I was told, was my unwillingness to convert to Islam, since unless and until I convert, our marriage would not have been recognised!)

    Islamic law doesn't require conversion if the woman is Christian or Jewish.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #51 - November 10, 2011, 05:27 AM

    Oh well, the Pakistani Muslim, I was with for 5 long years of my life, who I was told, fought his family for years to be with me, eventually succumbed to the pressure from his family and got married to a girl from his city and his religion! And all of it behind my back!

    I was told about his wedding, only after they were done with it. Worst is he kept claiming his affection for me, even after his wedding. And in fact, when I didn't respond to any of his claims, he made his mother call me up, and she even did!!!  Smiley (Well his entire family, including his aunts, uncles and cousin, knew about me from the very beginning! The reason for our separation, I was told, was my unwillingness to convert to Islam, since unless and until I convert, our marriage would not have been recognised!)

    Strange rather cruel, that he went on and married a girl behind me my back, and then eventually claimed his affection for me behind his wife's back!

    He kept claiming, I am the only one he belongs to, and was hoping for some miracle, that would unite us forever! DUH! He even said it after his marriage, in fact tried giving me hope by saying perhaps later, when everything's sorted out and he's able to bail himself out of the situation!!!

    Anyway. Makes me sad. I still do not know, if he was actually forced to or it's just a piece of fiction narrated to me... 5 long years of my life, and now I don't even know if it was all genuine or complete BS...

    Needless to say, it has affected me deeply!


    Don't deal with Pakistanis. They're literally the scum of the earth.

    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #52 - November 10, 2011, 05:33 AM

    Oh well, the Pakistani Muslim, I was with for 5 long years of my life, who I was told, fought his family for years to be with me, eventually succumbed to the pressure from his family and got married to a girl from his city and his religion! And all of it behind my back!

    I was told about his wedding, only after they were done with it. Worst is he kept claiming his affection for me, even after his wedding. And in fact, when I didn't respond to any of his claims, he made his mother call me up, and she even did!!!  Smiley (Well his entire family, including his aunts, uncles and cousin, knew about me from the very beginning! The reason for our separation, I was told, was my unwillingness to convert to Islam, since unless and until I convert, our marriage would not have been recognised!)

    Strange rather cruel, that he went on and married a girl behind me my back, and then eventually claimed his affection for me behind his wife's back!

    He kept claiming, I am the only one he belongs to, and was hoping for some miracle, that would unite us forever! DUH! He even said it after his marriage, in fact tried giving me hope by saying perhaps later, when everything's sorted out and he's able to bail himself out of the situation!!!

    Anyway. Makes me sad. I still do not know, if he was actually forced to or it's just a piece of fiction narrated to me... 5 long years of my life, and now I don't even know if it was all genuine or complete BS...

    Needless to say, it has affected me deeply!


    Haha, how many times have I heard this story of these types of Pakistani men? Its so sad and pathetic, especially these weak and spineless men.. if you can call them men. If they were men, they'd either defy their parents and be with you or they'd tell you up-front that it can't work and not lead you on like a little wimpy bitch. Stop wondering about this twat and move on, you deserve better and are better off without this coward spreading his cowardly genes through you.

    Don't deal with Pakistanis. They're literally the scum of the earth.


    Grin

    Formerly known as Iblis
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #53 - November 10, 2011, 08:09 AM

    ... I was with for 5 long years of my life, who I was told, fought his family for years to be with me, eventually succumbed to the pressure from his family and got married to a girl from his city and his religion!

    I was told about his wedding, only after they were done with it. Worst is he kept claiming his affection for me, even after his wedding. And in fact, when I didn't respond to any of his claims, he made his mother call me up, and she even did!!!  Smiley (Well his entire family, including his aunts, uncles and cousin, knew about me from the very beginning! The reason for our separation, I was told, was my unwillingness to convert to Islam, since unless and until I convert, our marriage would not have been recognised!)

    Strange rather cruel, that he went on and married a girl behind me my back, and then eventually claimed his affection for me behind his wife's back!

    He kept claiming, I am the only one he belongs to, and was hoping for some miracle, that would unite us forever! DUH! He even said it after his marriage, in fact tried giving me hope by saying perhaps later, when everything's sorted out and he's able to bail himself out of the situation!!!

    Anyway. Makes me sad. I still do not know, if he was actually forced to or it's just a piece of fiction narrated to me... 5 long years of my life, and now I don't even know if it was all genuine or complete BS...

    Needless to say, it has affected me deeply!


    Amazingly sad account. It would be very good for you to improve your feeling of self worth. If you are Christian married to Muslim man you should still be seen as first wife with position of much honour. If he has disrespected this he has disrespected you. His words of love no matter how sweet they sound ring loud with falseness. Try not to waste to much time wondering about genuine or complete BS. If you has told the truth about what happened it's a no brainer. 

    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #54 - November 10, 2011, 08:44 AM

    Islamic law doesn't require conversion if the woman is Christian or Jewish.


    No, I am neither a Christian nor a Jew..

    Don't deal with Pakistanis. They're literally the scum of the earth.


    Indeed. My experiment with a scum, indeed helped me infer, 'Eureka, Pakistani Muslims = Scum of the Earth!!!"

    Haha, how many times have I heard this story of these types of Pakistani men? Its so sad and pathetic, especially these weak and spineless men.. if you can call them men. If they were men, they'd either defy their parents and be with you or they'd tell you up-front that it can't work and not lead you on like a little wimpy bitch. Stop wondering about this twat and move on, you deserve better and are better off without this coward spreading his cowardly genes through you.

    Grin


    The fact, I escaped him, proves, I am blessed! Smiley

    I completely agree, with everything you have said here. Moral backruptcy is an inherent trait, as far as these Pakistani Muslim men are concerned.

    @Lynna
    Quote
    Amazingly sad account. It would be very good for you to improve your feeling of self worth. If you are Christian married to Muslim man you should still be seen as first wife with position of much honour. If he has disrespected this he has disrespected you. His words of love no matter how sweet they sound ring loud with falseness. Try not to waste to much time wondering about genuine or complete BS. If you has told the truth about what happened it's a no brainer. 


    No, no, no I wasn't married to him. The good thing is, for the best part of our 5 years together, we were either in different countries or different time zones.

    What hurts me most in the entire episode is, I had cared for this man, when he was sick to death and abandoned by his own family. I had helped him limp back to life, when he had virtually nothing on him. Sad, it is, that he took my affection for him, for my weakness. He took my goodness, for my weakness.

    Yes, I was deeply traumatised, and suffered a lot in the past one year, but now, I think, I have healed.  I am OK now. I think, I had a lesson to learn, which I have, but the hard way.

    No I never responded to any of his antics. I, in fact, never spoke to him, again.

    The only thing that pains me is there are so many similar stories emerging from across the world. These Pakistani Muslims, or Muslim men in general, play havoc with lives of non muslim women, and most of the non muslims are so not aware of their vile sides, that we learn things only once we've suffered at their hands. Is there no way out to curb this menace forever?
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #55 - November 15, 2011, 07:44 PM

    Myself and my mom just had a discussion about this not too long ago. She expects me to marry a nice religious muslimah from a good muslim home. She clearly stated that I better seek for one myself or else she will be forced to "GET" one for me.  Huh?
    I replied telling her that we are in 2011 not 1515 so there is no way i will let anybody pick a wife for me. The discussion spiraled into a long ass lecture about how it is islamically commendable for her to recommend good homely muslimahs to me that she thinks will make a good wife.
    Not only does she not know that I don't plan on getting married early, I have still not made up my mind about having kids either.

    "There aint no devil, it's just God when he's drunk"- Tom Waits
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #56 - November 15, 2011, 08:34 PM

    Stick to your guns, soul man.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #57 - November 15, 2011, 08:38 PM

    Myself and my mom just had a discussion about this not too long ago. She expects me to marry a nice religious muslimah from a good muslim home. She clearly stated that I better seek for one myself or else she will be forced to "GET" one for me.  Huh?
    I replied telling her that we are in 2011 not 1515 so there is no way i will let anybody pick a wife for me. The discussion spiraled into a long ass lecture about how it is islamically commendable for her to recommend good homely muslimahs to me that she thinks will make a good wife.
    Not only does she not know that I don't plan on getting married early, I have still not made up my mind about having kids either.


    Perhaps, just humor her?
     
    Don't agrue, Act like you're looking and just haven't found what you're looking for. (while going about your business)

    Ask for advise, Listen carefully file it someplace who knows when the info may become useful.

    If she introduces you to some one,  Be sure that you are totally regretful that she wont work out. (perhap even imply a reason from the things you have carefully listen to)

    Find real reason why she wont work out. Make sure these are reasons that your mother will also find as reason she is unworthy to be the wife of her wonderful son. For example your mom is unlike to be concerned that this muslimah not sexy babe.

    When you do find the sexy babe of your dreams have her look and act a nice muslimah when she meets your mom.

    advice from a grandma

    If at first you succeed...try something harder.

    Failing isn't falling down. Failing is not getting back up again.
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #58 - November 15, 2011, 09:07 PM

    Myself and my mom just had a discussion about this not too long ago. She expects me to marry a nice religious muslimah from a good muslim home. She clearly stated that I better seek for one myself or else she will be forced to "GET" one for me.  Huh?
    I replied telling her that we are in 2011 not 1515 so there is no way i will let anybody pick a wife for me. The discussion spiraled into a long ass lecture about how it is islamically commendable for her to recommend good homely muslimahs to me that she thinks will make a good wife.
    Not only does she not know that I don't plan on getting married early, I have still not made up my mind about having kids either.


    i would say you should find a creative way to prolong it or reject it outrightly if she tries to force you(which would be the obvious thing for her to do) thats whati intend to do to my parents anyway,or discourage the girl from having an interest in you by telling her about your belief, i doubt if malo babe will agree to that , other than that i cant think of any better suggestion that i have but the chances of finding a liberal malo who has no remote interest in religion is slim to none. this is something inevitable for young Nigerian Muslim men who have graduated from uni and start working and i wont be surprised if that happens to me.

    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Re: Men are forced into marriage in Islam aswell
     Reply #59 - November 15, 2011, 09:13 PM

    i would say you should find a creative way to prolong it or reject it outrightly if she tries to force you(which would be the obvious thing for her to do) thats whati intend to do to my parents anyway,or discourage the girl from having an interest in you by telling her about your belief, i doubt if malo babe will agree to that , other than that i cant think of any better suggestion that i have but the chances of finding a liberal malo who has no remote interest in religion is slim to none. this is something inevitable for young Nigerian Muslim men who have graduated from uni and start working and i wont be surprised if that happens to me.


    Yeah i feel you. I might not out rightly declare myself an atheist to the girl but I will definitely show her that religion doesn't mean shit to me, hopefully that should put the girl off. I definitely know there is no fucking way anybody is gonna talk me into an arranged marriage, HELL FUCKING NO!!  finmad  I value my sanity  Cheesy

    "There aint no devil, it's just God when he's drunk"- Tom Waits
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