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Theme Changer

 Topic: Halal Chat Up Lines

 (Read 32857 times)
  • 12 3 4 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Halal Chat Up Lines
     OP - March 26, 2010, 07:39 PM

    Most Islam related texts I get I find stupid and annoying, but this one was just funny, so I thought I would share it with you!

    Halal Chat Up Lines

    1. Wanna pray Jama'a? Shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?

    2. I love the way your abaya flows when you walk

    3. Marry me, so I don't have to lower my gaze when you walk in the room

    4. Girl you fine! I see that praying five times a day has really paid off!

    5. Are you a shiite? Because when I saw you, I said "She aiight"

    6. Would you like to help me wake up for Fajr?

    7. Girl when I saw you I said Masha'allah. Then I said Insha'allah

    8. Are your feet tired? Because you have been performing tawaf in my mind all day.

    9. How would you like to help me fulfill half my deen?

    10. Nice palms!

    11. You are the reason hijab was mandated

    12. Allah created everything in pairs, so why are you still single?

    13. I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam

    14. Do you believe in the hereafter? Oh you do? Then you know what I'm hereafter!"

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #1 - March 26, 2010, 07:41 PM

     Cheesy Lol good ones.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #2 - March 26, 2010, 07:42 PM

     Cheesy

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #3 - March 26, 2010, 07:51 PM

    4. Girl you fine! I see that praying five times a day has really paid off!

    5. Are you a shiite? Because when I saw you, I said "She aiight"


     Cheesy Best ones

    fuck you
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #4 - March 26, 2010, 07:52 PM

     Cheesy
     thnkyu

    10. Nice palms!
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #5 - March 26, 2010, 07:54 PM

    My fave is "Would you like to help me wake up for Fajr?"

    Imagine if someone actually used that!

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #6 - March 26, 2010, 07:56 PM

    Where did you find this?
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #7 - March 26, 2010, 07:59 PM

    Love it aliadiere! Cheesy

    Actually one of the most common is "Our parents say we have to get married!" lol

  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #8 - March 26, 2010, 08:06 PM

    Where did you find this?


    It was just a forwarded message that I got - I have a feeling it was started by a former Muslim, because the person who wrote it seems to know their stuff, but not mind taking the piss!


    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #9 - March 26, 2010, 08:08 PM

    Lol, those were great!  Remind me what abaya and tawaf means please...

    .
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #10 - March 26, 2010, 08:10 PM

    abaya is the long flowing think that women wear so you can't see any of their body.

    And tawaf is walking around the kaaba

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #11 - March 26, 2010, 08:13 PM

    I see, lol!  Now those two jokes make sense too.

    If I put my mind to it I'm sure I can come up with some Islamic chat up lines too.  Watch this space.


    EDITED to say...

    Sorry if I sound slow and dopey, but I don't get the "Nice palms!" one.  Can anyone explain?  wacko

    .
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #12 - March 26, 2010, 08:17 PM

    7. Girl when I saw you I said Masha'allah. Then I said Insha'allah

    12. Allah created everything in pairs, so why are you still single?


    Haha.  grin12
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #13 - March 26, 2010, 08:21 PM


    EDITED to say...

    Sorry if I sound slow and dopey, but I don't get the "Nice palms!" one.  Can anyone explain?  wacko


    Its like saying "nice arse!" but the palms are the only part of the body you can see the shape of

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #14 - March 26, 2010, 08:22 PM

    Sorry if I sound slow and dopey, but I don't get the "Nice palms!" one.  Can anyone explain?  wacko

    The only part of the body one can actually see.
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #15 - March 26, 2010, 09:00 PM

    These are funny. I remember reading them when I was a Muslim, forwarded to me by my Salafi friend lol.

    I hear the rains, I see the fire, I feel the flame. It doesn't change the faces I want to blame for the shame I'm feeling.
    But the winds of change will blow again. And we're the lucky ones who travel on towards the sun.

    Can you hear it calling you?
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #16 - March 26, 2010, 09:37 PM

    Here's some more I got from the net.  Some are good, some aren't so much.  Some are repeated but I can't be bothered to edit them out.

    1.I'm looking for the "Made In Jannah" tag

    2. Are those legs halal?

    3.OMG!! I just saw part of your hair, now your obligated to marry me..

    4. Wanna pray in jamaat? shoulder to shoulder, feet to feet?"

    5.Wanna date? i bought a whole box when I went to madinah"

    6. Marry me so I don't have to lower my gaze every time you walk into the room..

    7. Girl when i saw you i said mashallah, then i said inshallah

    8. Would you like to help me wake up for Fajr?

    9. Are you a Shiite? Because when I saw you, I said to myself, "She aiight"

    10.You’re so fine, I wanna marry you, get 10 kids with you and pray domestic jamaah for the rest of our lives.

    11. "U thief. u know, its wrong to steal in Islam""how am i a thief?""u stole my heart"

    12. Are your feet tired? Because you've been performing Tawaaf in my mind all day long?

    13. How would you like to help me fulfill half of my deen?

    14. Girl...I know its haraam "paying" so much "interest" in you...but I can't help myself...

    15.wanna ride shotgun on my camel?

    16.Girl you fine, TAKBEER

    17. You are the noor of my eyes.

    18. Hey do you want to pray together? Should I call you or Nudge you?

    19.Your face shines with so much noor that it could launch a thousand (Jihadi) ships

    20. Have your ammi call my ammi

    21. You are the reason hijab was mandated.

    22. You are the coolness of my eyes.

    23. I didn't trip over my robe, I fell for you.

    24. You're so beautiful, You would make hur-al-ayn jealous.

    25. I have some sort of sickness but Allah*swt* has created a cure, that's you.

    26. Sister, I'm not drunk, just intoxicated by you.

    27. Any cup of water that you pour for me will taste like Zam Zam.

    28. The noor on your face is so strong, I think I'm going to go blind!

    29. "Hey I'm a nice Muslim boy and you seem like a nice Muslim girl, so what do you say we make a halal match?"

    30.Allah created everything in pairs, so what are you doing single?

    31.Sister For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

    32.Our parents engaged us when we were little, they must have forgotten to tell you.

    33.I'd like to be more than just your brother in Islam.

    34.Will my platinum VISA cover your dowry?

    35.You can't play basketball with a hijab on, marry me, and we will go one-on-one our entire life. 36. Muslims are supposed to have many children, and I am willing to do my part...

    37. Will you help the cause of the Ummah by helping me fulfill my deen?

    38.What school of thought do you follow because I thought about you all through school.

    39.It must be Laylatul Qadr. Because that's the night that angels come down from Heaven.

    40.I've had to fast every day since the day that I first saw you.

    41.I know Halal meat does a body good, but damn, how much you been eatin.

    42.Would you like to share my prayer-mat?

    43.I'm not sure of the Nikah process. Can you help me through it?

    44.I just made dua for YOU.

    45. I'm not staring, I'm just enjoying my first and only allowed look.

    46.Sister, you are a hijabi fitnah.

    47.I'm new here, can you take me to the closest masjid?

    48.You make me realise why we're asked to lower our gaze so much.

    49.I dont need mahr...YOU are my mahr.

    .
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #17 - March 26, 2010, 09:40 PM

     Cheesy

    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #18 - March 26, 2010, 11:02 PM

    1.I'm looking for the "Made In Jannah" tag


    Reminds me of a great song from Be Bop Deluxe - I saw them live - Bill Neslon was such an underatted song writer and guitar player!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzZUyTpmy3g
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #19 - May 30, 2010, 10:59 PM

     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #20 - May 30, 2010, 11:33 PM

    5. Are you a shiite? Because when I saw you, I said "She aiight"

    9. How would you like to help me fulfill half my deen?

    11. You are the reason hijab was mandated

      Cheesy Cheesy
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #21 - May 31, 2010, 01:52 AM

    45. I'm not staring, I'm just enjoying my first and only allowed look.

     Cheesy

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #22 - May 31, 2010, 06:32 AM

     Cheesy
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #23 - May 31, 2010, 08:20 AM

    Mixu you made my day with these chat up "Halal" lines! Cheesy

    ...
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #24 - May 31, 2010, 09:24 PM

    This isn't a Muslim chat up line, but it is a chat up line I like anyway -

    "Are you Jamaican? Cus Jamaican me horny!"

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #25 - May 31, 2010, 09:27 PM

     Cheesy

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #26 - May 31, 2010, 10:40 PM

    I still like "Grab your coat love, you've pulled"

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #27 - May 31, 2010, 10:41 PM

    What about "Nice legs. What time do they open?"

    Religion - The hot potato that looked delicious but ended up burning your mouth!

    Knock your head on the ground, don't be miserly in your prayers, listen to your Sidi Sheikh, Allahu Akbar! - Lounes Matoub
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #28 - May 31, 2010, 10:42 PM

    or "Can you cook a nice breakfast?"

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Halal Chat Up Lines
     Reply #29 - May 31, 2010, 10:47 PM

    What about "Nice legs. What time do they open?"

    I could never say that to a woman ! Could you?


    P.S: please don't be a smart ass and answer "yes my wife"
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