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 Topic: Berbs Blog, much madness within

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  • Berbs Blog, much madness within
     OP - January 17, 2008, 01:10 PM
    Welcome to the blog of the worrying warrior

    This blog will consist of random thoughts, that aren't thought out properly and need to be let out to come to a conclusion.   Tongue

    Don't expect rationality, don't expect intelligence, and don't expect consistancy in my thoughts, and you won't be disappointed.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Entry 1 - Fear and indecison
     Reply #1 - January 17, 2008, 01:27 PM
    I think many of you have the impression that in real life I grab problems by the balls and tackle them head on.  Others like PB know that I dither and dally with indecision for years before dealing with it.

    I'm not sure how much of my fear and indecison stems from nature or nurture, am I so crippled in making decisions because I was taught it wasn't really my place to make huge decisons, or is it just my nature to be so fearful over trying new things?

    Example of crippling indecison:

    During Xmas I stood for 30 mins, with two rolls of wrapping paper in my hands, 30 mins of indecison over which colour wrapping paper I wanted, 30 mins in the same spot in the shop stressing over my inability to commit to such a tiny choice, until in the end I just said fuck it and chose a totally different one that I hadn't been holding.

    You think that's bad?  clothes shopping results in the same thing, often times with me storming out of the shop empty handed mentally beating myself for not being able to decide, only to call a friend and ask her to choose for me based on photos I send her.  That's terrible isn't it?  Roll Eyes

    Is it nature, nurture or both, and how to I work past it?

    Will I ever be one of those women who just make decisions without getting stressed about it, afraid to make the wrong choice?

     :(
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Entry 1 - Fear and indecison
     Reply #2 - January 17, 2008, 09:46 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 17, 2008, 01:27 PM
    Example of crippling indecison:

    During Xmas I stood for 30 mins, with two rolls of wrapping paper in my hands, 30 mins of indecison over which colour wrapping paper I wanted, 30 mins in the same spot in the shop stressing over my inability to commit to such a tiny choice, until in the end I just said fuck it and chose a totally different one that I hadn't been holding.

    You think that's bad?  clothes shopping results in the same thing, often times with me storming out of the shop empty handed mentally beating myself for not being able to decide, only to call a friend and ask her to choose for me based on photos I send her.  That's terrible isn't it?  Roll Eyes


    I have pissed off a girlfirend because of this. We go to the grocery store to get some food to make.. ha, good luck for me picking something out. A month or so ago, I went out for dinner with my parent, again couldn't decide. I put some humor into the indicision this time by saying "If I choose one, it would be unfair to all the other dishes  :-\"

    I have the same problem with clothes. When I do buy something, because for some odd reason I loved, I end up regreting over it later saying this looks horrible. This is certainly something stemmed from extraverted intuition. That girlfriend mentioned earlier, was extraverted sensing, so you can see why she would get annoyed, but this also leads her to getting freaked out. She has spent a decade going to different schools never finishing, because she just freaks out. I just don't know what or how it develops. It is not really negative, as there are negative and positive to all things.
    \\\\\\\"The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.\\\\\\\"-Carl Jung
  • Re: Entry 1 - Fear and indecison
     Reply #3 - January 18, 2008, 08:50 AM
    Quote from: Huston on January 17, 2008, 09:46 PM
    I have pissed off a girlfirend because of this. We go to the grocery store to get some food to make.. ha, good luck for me picking something out. A month or so ago, I went out for dinner with my parent, again couldn't decide. I put some humor into the indicision this time by saying "If I choose one, it would be unfair to all the other dishes  :-\"

    I have the same problem with clothes. When I do buy something, because for some odd reason I loved, I end up regreting over it later saying this looks horrible. This is certainly something stemmed from extraverted intuition. That girlfriend mentioned earlier, was extraverted sensing, so you can see why she would get annoyed, but this also leads her to getting freaked out. She has spent a decade going to different schools never finishing, because she just freaks out. I just don't know what or how it develops. It is not really negative, as there are negative and positive to all things.


    I just find it hard to see a positive in that kind of indecision, maybe there is some, I just can't see it lol.  Wink

    Using mbti/cognitve theory makes sense obviously, but then I read that at my age my lesser functions should be getting stronger and this type of crippling indecision shouldn't be so crippling lol  Roll Eyes

    Meh, it's frustrating.  It's one of the reasons why I don't eat that much too.  I can decide what to feed the kids alot easier than what I feel like eating, so I just don't bother factoring myself in to the grocery shop.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Entry 1 - Fear and indecison
     Reply #4 - January 18, 2008, 04:38 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 18, 2008, 08:50 AM
    I just find it hard to see a positive in that kind of indecision, maybe there is some, I just can't see it lol.  Wink


    Grin It's not the indicision (mainly from detachment, which is definiately horrible with feelers) that is the positive aspect of extraverted intuition. It is the ability to find problems and finding new and innovative ideas.
    \\\\\\\"The pendulum of the mind alternates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong.\\\\\\\"-Carl Jung
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #5 - January 18, 2008, 06:05 PM
    Fear and indecision, eh? It sounds like something out of a Monty Python script.

    Quote from: Ximinez
    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four...no... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #6 - January 19, 2008, 04:21 AM


    Well, Berbs,

    The mere fact that you are attempting to explain your indecisiveness, is enough of a signal that says: "I know there is something wrong. I just can't (put my) "finger" (on) it.

    In today's world that would indicate that you are indecisive because either you never learned to be decisive, or you are incapable of being decisive. If it is the latter, then you could be said to have been born somewhat mentally "deficient"...

    I am having a difficult time trying to understand you.

    OTOneH you say that you understand that there may implications of environment or nurture, and OTOtherH you provide examples of high level thinking...

    What is it that you are looking for???



    Today's decisions are directly related to tomorrow's outcomes!!!
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #7 - January 19, 2008, 06:46 AM
    Quote from: Simpleman on January 19, 2008, 04:21 AM
    Well, Berbs,

    The mere fact that you are attempting to explain your indecisiveness, is enough of a signal that says: "I know there is something wrong. I just can't (put my) "finger" (on) it.

     
    Obviously.


    Quote
    In today's world that would indicate that you are indecisive because either you never learned to be decisive, or you are incapable of being decisive.

     
    Equally obvious.


    Quote
    If it is the latter, then you could be said to have been born somewhat mentally "deficient"...

     
    Completely unnecessary, and asking to have your balls ripped off. Simpleman, this particular sub-forum is for people who want to get things off their chests without being slagged off for it. That is why the category heading is "Sanctuary". It means if you post something here in another person's thread you take extra care to make it constructive. Please consider.


    Quote
    I am having a difficult time trying to understand you.

     
    It is called "venting". It relieves internal pressure.


    Quote
    OTOneH you say that you understand that there may implications of environment or nurture, and OTOtherH you provide examples of high level thinking...

     
    I recommend the high level thinking.


    Quote
    What is it that you are looking for???

     
    She is looking to simultaneously relieve internal pressure and sort her thoughts out in a format that allows her to sit back and peruse them at her leisure. 



    Burbles, FWIW my impression is that you're dealing with self-esteem issues, a hangover from all those years of being treated like shit. Basically I think you don't really trust yourself yet, so you get hung up on worrying that you'll make the wrong decision. Try making decisions just for the hell of it. Most of them aren't major anyway. Impulse buying rocks. Just walk into a joint, spot something that looks good and grab it. 
    Don't do it too often though. Too much impulse buying is a great way to go broke.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #8 - January 19, 2008, 05:18 PM


    I guess I am in the process of learning real person struggles from everyone involved, and about their mechanisms in looking to understand "oneself".

    Or am I, again, in the wrong "side" of "understanding"?

    I suppose that one of the things that have "hardened" my approach is the fact that I had to learn to deal with my own life at a very young age.

    Please, continue. I will pay closer attention to your present state of affairs.

    Oh, BTW, big "O". I like my balls where they are.

    If anything at all...



    Today's decisions are directly related to tomorrow's outcomes!!!
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #9 - January 19, 2008, 08:28 PM
    No problem.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #10 - January 22, 2008, 09:50 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 19, 2008, 06:46 AM

    Burbles, FWIW my impression is that you're dealing with self-esteem issues, a hangover from all those years of being treated like shit. Basically I think you don't really trust yourself yet, so you get hung up on worrying that you'll make the wrong decision. Try making decisions just for the hell of it. Most of them aren't major anyway. Impulse buying rocks. Just walk into a joint, spot something that looks good and grab it. 
    Don't do it too often though. Too much impulse buying is a great way to go broke.


    Impulse buying depresses me because I always regret it, and when I regret something I can make myself feel shitter than my ex ever managed to.  :-\

    I'm working on it though, I am working on not beating myself up for the failures that always seem to follow each decision I feel forced to make.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • My ankle is never going to be the same again
     Reply #11 - January 22, 2008, 09:53 AM
    I no longer have full range of movement in my ankle  Cry, I know it's early days yet, but wil I ever really regain it?

    I can't put my foot flat on the floor and then lean forward, there is no tilt and my sole raises of the floor if I try.  You know the pose a runner does in a race to prepare for running?  I can't do it no more.

    The muscle wastage is visible  Cry, my sexy pins are not quite as sexy as they were.

    Someone tell me that this is temporary.  Cry
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #12 - January 22, 2008, 09:55 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 22, 2008, 09:50 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 19, 2008, 06:46 AM

    Burbles, FWIW my impression is that you're dealing with self-esteem issues, a hangover from all those years of being treated like shit. Basically I think you don't really trust yourself yet, so you get hung up on worrying that you'll make the wrong decision. Try making decisions just for the hell of it. Most of them aren't major anyway. Impulse buying rocks. Just walk into a joint, spot something that looks good and grab it. 
    Don't do it too often though. Too much impulse buying is a great way to go broke.


    Impulse buying depresses me because I always regret it, and when I regret something I can make myself feel shitter than my ex ever managed to.  :-\

    I'm working on it though, I am working on not beating myself up for the failures that always seem to follow each decision I feel forced to make.



    Well - seems you made some pretty GOOD decisions in your life, too! Like leaving the beast of a husband, deciding to fight him every step of the way... your life may not be perfect, but you did a hell of a job already, at making it BETTER. Keep that in mind, when you worry about which shirt to buy... hugs from me, as always (and btw: I can sympathise - being ALMOST as bad at the decision-taking...) - oh, and keep in mind; if YOU don´t take decisions for yourself, someone else (or life) WILL, and you are stuck with what you DIDN`T decide on.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #13 - January 22, 2008, 09:55 AM
    Your tendons have probably stiffened up from all the time in the cast. That's normal. It should sort itself.
    Are you getting any physio or doing stretches?
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: My ankle is never going to be the same again
     Reply #14 - January 22, 2008, 09:56 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 22, 2008, 09:53 AM
    I no longer have full range of movement in my ankle  Cry, I know it's early days yet, but wil I ever really regain it?

    I can't put my foot flat on the floor and then lean forward, there is no tilt and my sole raises of the floor if I try.  You know the pose a runner does in a race to prepare for running?  I can't do it no more.

    The muscle wastage is visible  Cry, my sexy pins are not quite as sexy as they were.

    Someone tell me that this is temporary.  Cry

    Oh, I think you´ll get beyond this with a little exercise! Well - you won´t make it to the Bolshoi now...  Tongue
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #15 - January 22, 2008, 09:59 AM
    You should be getting physio I think, if you broke a bone.  That would most likely sort it out. 

    As to the indecision thing, you might not like having the opposite trait either.  Like me, I never learn to look before I leap, oh no..just act on impulse and regret it later.  We're none of us perfect, I suppose.
    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #16 - January 22, 2008, 09:59 AM
    Quote from: diotima on January 22, 2008, 09:55 AM

    Well - seems you made some pretty GOOD decisions in your life, too! Like leaving the beast of a husband, deciding to fight him every step of the way... your life may not be perfect, but you did a hell of a job already, at making it BETTER. Keep that in mind, when you worry about which shirt to buy... hugs from me, as always (and btw: I can sympathise - being ALMOST as bad at the decision-taking...) - oh, and keep in mind; if YOU don´t take decisions for yourself, someone else (or life) WILL, and you are stuck with what you DIDN`T decide on.


    Good point Dio, a very good point, I shall definately keep that in mind now.  Smiley
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #17 - January 22, 2008, 10:01 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 22, 2008, 09:55 AM
    Your tendons have probably stiffened up from all the time in the cast. That's normal. It should sort itself.
    Are you getting any physio or doing stretches?


    No the hospital said they don;t need to see me again, so I wasn't offered any physio.  :-\

    I'm trying to stretch it myself. 
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #18 - January 22, 2008, 10:02 AM
    Quote from: Cheetah on January 22, 2008, 09:59 AM
    You should be getting physio I think, if you broke a bone.  That would most likely sort it out. 

    As to the indecision thing, you might not like having the opposite trait either.  Like me, I never learn to look before I leap, oh no..just act on impulse and regret it later.  We're none of us perfect, I suppose.


    That's what my friend says too, we reckon a balance of me and her is perfect on that lol

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #19 - January 22, 2008, 10:05 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 22, 2008, 10:01 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 22, 2008, 09:55 AM
    Your tendons have probably stiffened up from all the time in the cast. That's normal. It should sort itself.
    Are you getting any physio or doing stretches?


    No the hospital said they don;t need to see me again, so I wasn't offered any physio.  :-\

    I'm trying to stretch it myself. 


    Ok, you should be fine. Just take it in stages and don't strain anything.
    You have to expect stiffness after having it in a cast for yonks.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #20 - January 22, 2008, 10:08 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 22, 2008, 10:05 AM


    Ok, you should be fine. Just take it in stages and don't strain anything.
    You have to expect stiffness after having it in a cast for yonks.



    The doctor said I can get back on the bike straight away, but the back tendon is so flippin stiff I don't think I should do it straight off.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #21 - January 22, 2008, 10:12 AM
    Movement is the best thing for it. Just do stretches gradually and get on the bike as soon as you think you have enough flexibility.
    How are you with walking?
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #22 - January 22, 2008, 10:14 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 22, 2008, 10:12 AM
    Movement is the best thing for it. Just do stretches gradually and get on the bike as soon as you think you have enough flexibility.
    How are you with walking?


    A bit of a limp, as if I still have the cast on, but other than that walking is much better than running.  Tongue
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #23 - January 22, 2008, 10:31 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 22, 2008, 10:14 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 22, 2008, 10:12 AM
    Movement is the best thing for it. Just do stretches gradually and get on the bike as soon as you think you have enough flexibility.
    How are you with walking?


    A bit of a limp, as if I still have the cast on, but other than that walking is much better than running.  Tongue


    Makes sense. Your body is still used to compensating for the cast. It's normal. Anything you can do to encourage symmetry will help.  A good osteopath helped me after I had a cracked ankle. They can put your spine and pelvis back into gear.
    Also if you've ever done any basic yoga that will help too.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #24 - January 22, 2008, 10:35 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 22, 2008, 10:31 AM


    Makes sense. Your body is still used to compensating for the cast. It's normal. Anything you can do to encourage symmetry will help. A good osteopath helped me after I had a cracked ankle. They can put your spine and pelvis back into gear.
    Also if you've ever done any basic yoga that will help too.


    I am planning on asking the doc to refer me for that, my spine feels all wrong, hard to explain.

    Yeah, I think I will do the yoga to help, I was considering doing it anyway, but now I got someone else to help me make the decision lol  Tongue
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #25 - January 22, 2008, 10:36 AM
    What about the fact that my ankle still looks kind of swollen, is that normal, or will I get my sexy pins back in time too?
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #26 - January 22, 2008, 10:41 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 22, 2008, 10:35 AM
    I am planning on asking the doc to refer me for that, my spine feels all wrong, hard to explain.

    Yeah, I think I will do the yoga to help, I was considering doing it anyway, but now I got someone else to help me make the decision lol  Tongue


    Ed Zachary. All your muscles will be up the shit from lugging around the cast and your posture will be twisted too.
    Like I said, it's normal. If you do go with basic yoga don't try anything silly. All you need are the basic stretching and balancing exercises, plus whatever other stretches feel like a good thing. Don't worry about the lotus position or any of that.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #27 - January 22, 2008, 10:43 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 22, 2008, 10:36 AM
    What about the fact that my ankle still looks kind of swollen, is that normal, or will I get my sexy pins back in time too?


    Oh ffs.  Grin  Nope, sorry. You're stuck with puffy granny legs.There is no hope for you. Your life is ruined.


    Umm, Burbs, how long was the cast on and how long have you had it off? 
    By the time you have the muscles back to normal it'll look fine.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #28 - January 22, 2008, 10:50 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on January 22, 2008, 10:43 AM


    Oh ffs. Grin  Nope, sorry. You're stuck with puffy granny legs.There is no hope for you. Your life is ruined.


    Umm, Burbs, how long was the cast on and how long have you had it off? 
    By the time you have the muscles back to normal it'll look fine.


     Tongue Don't be mean to me, I'm vain about my legs so  Tongue

    It's not been off for long and I had it on for 7weeks, I'm just stressing about my wow factor.  Cheesy
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #29 - January 22, 2008, 11:13 AM
    Well dio's got you well covered on the indecision thing ..

    As for the ankle swelling, i looked around, and I found this:

    Quote
    After cast removal, use frequent ice massage. Fill a large Styrofoam cup with water and freeze. Tear a small amount of foam from the top so ice protrudes. Massage firmly over the injured area in a circle about the size of a baseball. Do this for 15 minutes at a time, 3 or 4 times a day.

    Apply heat instead of ice, if it feels better. Use heat lamps, hot soaks, hot showers or heating pads.

    Gentle massage will frequently provide comfort and decrease swelling.

     

    MDAdvice.com

    You should consult a GP though, before you do any of this  :-\
    Click on these :-

    FAQS

    An important distinction
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