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Theme Changer

 Topic: Berbs Blog, much madness within

 (Read 124448 times)
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  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1170 - April 13, 2009, 02:12 AM

    Thanks for the responses. She is still here with me. Im calling social services on tuesday to report the situation to them and get some help getting her out of there permanently.

    im still so mad at my step mum though. Its disgusting to me as a parent to even try and understand why any mother would even threaten such a thing. I know its islam. Its these moments that really drive home to me why i cant stand islam.


    If you can, get a family lawyer first. See if someone from CEMB can hook you up. It's better to have an advocate who knows the ins and outs of the law. Don't just trust the government to do its job.

    fuck you
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1171 - April 13, 2009, 05:14 AM

    That's not a concern. The concern is that they may try to send her there.


    Pssh...My concern is, any parent who would actually treat ANY child the way Berb's parents do.

    It's one thing to lose your temper and say nasty things, or smack them on the butt. It's another to consistently threaten and physically abuse your children throughout their life. Or cause one of your children to hurt the others, and use them as a threat.


     furious

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1172 - April 13, 2009, 05:27 AM

    Oh my gosh, Berbs...This is sickening! How could they think about taking someone's life? I mean, from what I read about how they treated you, I shouldn't be surprised.

    All I can say is, don't let your sister go back. Her life is at risk and I wouldn't trust your step mother one bit.

    I hope that everything works out.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1173 - April 17, 2009, 11:08 PM

    Update?

    fuck you
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1174 - April 18, 2009, 03:28 PM

    Berbs have you contacted Maryam yet? I'm sure she can help - maybe find a safe-house for your sister?

    You have my number and u know u r welcome if u need to get out in a hurry.

    <hugs>
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1175 - May 06, 2009, 08:25 AM

    Sorry for the late update, I needed to mull over all that happened before I spoke about it again.

    My sister ended up going back home, my parents convinced her through a whole bunch of false promises, and my brother who lives with me put so much pressure on her with aggression (oh believe me we had some major words about that), my other sister pressured her, and inspite of my support she felt she had no real choice but to go home.

    Now I know that if she wants to run again she won't feel like she can turn to me because my brother lives here.  I did tell him that this is my house, and that if I invite someone to my house he has no say in it and that if he ever did what he did to my sister again I would kick him out in favour of her.

    He actually used violence against her in my house, it was a horrible scene, I couldn't stop him, I managed to get him off of her and I threw him out of the house, but after that she didn't feel she could honestly stay.  She says it was her choice but I know she left because of what he did.

    I have told her that I would kick him out if he ever attempted to do something like that again, I guess I just have to wait and see whether she will take that option.

    My parents false promises didn't last long and my step mother is still ranting to high heaven about her right to kill her daughter for the shame she is bringing.

    It's all still ongoing.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1176 - May 06, 2009, 08:29 AM

    Sorry for the late update, I needed to mull over all that happened before I spoke about it again.

    My sister ended up going back home, my parents convinced her through a whole bunch of false promises, and my brother who lives with me put so much pressure on her with aggression (oh believe me we had some major words about that), my other sister pressured her, and inspite of my support she felt she had no real choice but to go home.

    Now I know that if she wants to run again she won't feel like she can turn to me because my brother lives here.  I did tell him that this is my house, and that if I invite someone to my house he has no say in it and that if he ever did what he did to my sister again I would kick him out in favour of her.

    He actually used violence against her in my house, it was a horrible scene, I couldn't stop him, I managed to get him off of her and I threw him out of the house, but after that she didn't feel she could honestly stay.  She says it was her choice but I know she left because of what he did.

    I have told her that I would kick him out if he ever attempted to do something like that again, I guess I just have to wait and see whether she will take that option.

    My parents false promises didn't last long and my step mother is still ranting to high heaven about her right to kill her daughter for the shame she is bringing.

    It's all still ongoing.
     
    Awwwwwwwwww xx No words, just *Hugs*  Cry far away hug


  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1177 - May 06, 2009, 08:33 AM

    He actually used violence against her in my house, it was a horrible scene, I couldn't stop him, I managed to get him off of her and I threw him out of the house, but after that she didn't feel she could honestly stay.  She says it was her choice but I know she left because of what he did.

    I have told her that I would kick him out if he ever attempted to do something like that again, I guess I just have to wait and see whether she will take that option.

    Hang on: what is he contributing to your household?

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1178 - May 06, 2009, 08:39 AM

    Why on earth is your brother living with you?
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1179 - May 06, 2009, 08:42 AM

    SOD all, he is a taker mostly, a selfish blind teenage boy and a real strain on me lately.

    For some reason he seems to believe that his invitation to stay here, is a right of some sort, and that he has some kind of say in whether I take in my sister or not.

    I didn't even consider him a threat to her, I always thought it was only my other brother (the one who beat her last time), I was genuinelly shocked and really upset to see that side of him.

    I think I have made him realise that he doesn't have some god given right to my help and that I can withdraw it at anytime, but until he is placed in that position again I won't know if he's learnt his lesson or not.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1180 - May 06, 2009, 08:45 AM

    How is your sister doing?
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1181 - May 06, 2009, 08:45 AM

    Why on earth is your brother living with you?


    Because he is a hypocrite who has forgotten that he went off the rails and was facing violence daily until I took him in and gave him a safe place to live and a free ride.

    Even pointing out his hypocrisy brings only "but she is a girl, it's different" and "but you are my older sister, and anyway it's not the same"

    I felt bad for him once, hence his living here, but as a woman I feel more for my little sister, I think he knows I would choose to help her over him now.

    I would rather help both of them at the same time, but muslim boys suck at equality.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1182 - May 06, 2009, 08:46 AM

    Ok, don't want to dump on you because you probably understand this already but your sister is not going to see your place as a possible refuge if she gets beaten up there and the bloke who did it doesn't get any comeback. I mean you wouldn't in her shoes. So most likely the reason she went back is because she feels she has nowhere else to go.

    Really if anyone was going to be sent back to your parents it should be your brother. They wont kill him and it'd give your sister a much-needed out. Also if he tries any shit at all in future I wouldn't hesitate to get the sweeny on his ass. Serve him right.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1183 - May 06, 2009, 08:50 AM

    How is your sister doing?


    Emotionally no idea, she isn't a very emotionally open person, even when she cries she gets angry with her self for crying and barely sheds one or two tears before forcing the emotion away.

    General, bunking off of shool, staying out late, hanging with boys, smoking, basically everything to try and get a severe beating because the social services wouldn't help as she wasn't marked.

    I've told her to come here, I've spoken to social services (who are wankers and won't step in yet), but if they won't help I can make space.

    Like I said it's ongoing, still talking to her on the phone and fighting the rest of the family over my right to help my sister.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1184 - May 06, 2009, 08:50 AM

    Berbs, I think it would be a good idea to make it clear to your sister that would choose her over your brother. That way she knows she has a place of refuge.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1185 - May 06, 2009, 09:01 AM

    Ok, don't want to dump on you because you probably understand this already but your sister is not going to see your place as a possible refuge if she gets beaten up there and the bloke who did it doesn't get any comeback. I mean you wouldn't in her shoes. So most likely the reason she went back is because she feels she has nowhere else to go.

    Really if anyone was going to be sent back to your parents it should be your brother. They wont kill him and it'd give your sister a much-needed out. Also if he tries any shit at all in future I wouldn't hesitate to get the sweeny on his ass. Serve him right.


    He didn't get a severe comeback because he apologised to her and me, he apologised the next day to me, didn't come slinking back until real late and I didn't say a word to him at all, (believe me I rarely go cold enough to not speak) I was trying to decide what to do at the time, she had already left inspite of my promises to deal with him as soon as he returned.

    He apologised the next day with tears and said that he was under pressure from my step mother to get my sister in line and that he was confused too.

    I told him to save his apologies for the one who needed them the most, and then told him that next time he was out in his ears instantly.

    They have made up but I honestly don't know what he would do given a new situation.

    I know the answers must bounce to people who aren't living this situation right now, but it isn't as easy as it appears, at least not to me.  I genuinelly want to help him and her, him to learn a better way of looking at things (and in some areas I have made him admit he doesn't even visualise himself as a muslim in the future) and her to get settled and safe, her mind is already alot freer than his, even more so now she knows islam thinks she should die for her free mind.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1186 - May 06, 2009, 09:04 AM

    Berbs, I think it would be a good idea to make it clear to your sister that would choose her over your brother. That way she knows she has a place of refuge.


    Yes, I will tell her again just to be sure she truly understands.  I'm sure I have told her but it never hurts to repeat things to a 15yr old.  Wink

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1187 - May 06, 2009, 09:10 AM

     far away hug I wish all the best for you, your sister, and your brother.

    I chose to get circumcised at 17, don't tell me I never believed.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1188 - May 06, 2009, 09:14 AM

    I know the answers must bounce to people who aren't living this situation right now, but it isn't as easy as it appears, at least not to me.

    You are dealing with the situation really well Berbs Smiley I'm sure most of this forum can understand how tough your situation is.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1189 - May 06, 2009, 09:18 AM

    Thanks guys, At least this is the last teenager to help out from amongst my siblings lol don't think my heart could take another one.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1190 - May 06, 2009, 04:23 PM

    My heart goes out to you Berbs - it's such a difficult situation that I hesitate to comment - besides, you know the score better than me.

    <hugs>
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1191 - May 29, 2009, 12:10 PM

    I know it's taken me many a long year to get here, but I now formally disown my parents.

    I am done trying to understand, sympathise, or allow myself to feel compassion for them.

    I divorce them "talaaq talaaq talaaq" this is not said in anger, it's been a long time coming.

    According to my sisters social worker, my father and step mother have clearly stated that my sister can stay anywhere else but with me (which she isn't anymore right now anyway), that I am the worst possible person and that I am hell bent on corrupting etc etc yada yada ad nauseum  Roll Eyes

    I know I knew all of this, but it hurt to hear it again from someone who has no need to lie or to make things sound worse than they are.  The social worker said that she told them they were chatting bullshit (not in those words) and that they wouldn't accept my parents complaint since it was motivated by my lack of religion which is not a crime in this country.

    Anyway basically my parents suck ass, I am finished with them by my choice, not theirs, one of those "you can't sack me, I quit" situations.  Cheesy

    You all saw me asking for advice, you could see I was concerned about how best to get my sister back on track, there was no talk of corrupting so screw them backwards retarded bitches.

    My sister can also go fuck herself, not the 15yr old, she is only 15 and confused right now, but the other one who went behind my back and pressured my sister to go back into a dangerous situation, she can go fuck herself.

    I am now an orphan, I am looking for new parents, all you have to do is be kind and accept me for who I am, which is not a murderer, rapist, thief or general scumbag and I will shower you with my miserly affection sometimes.  Smiley

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1192 - May 29, 2009, 12:13 PM

    That's good to hear Berbs Smiley
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1193 - May 29, 2009, 01:03 PM

    BE, what about your biological mother ? is she alive and if so, has she never made any effort to contact her children ?

    What about her parents, are they still alive ? I also suppose that you have some ants, uncles and cousins. Have you ever tried to contact them ?

    Like a compass needle that points north, a man?s accusing finger always finds a woman. Always.

    Khaled Hosseini - A thousand splendid suns.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1194 - May 29, 2009, 01:17 PM

    BE, what about your biological mother ? is she alive and if so, has she never made any effort to contact her children ?

    What about her parents, are they still alive ? I also suppose that you have some ants, uncles and cousins. Have you ever tried to contact them ?


    I met my biological mother not long before my 20th birthday, I got a letter in the post from the salvation asking me if I was the person that a certain person was looking for, ie my mum was looking for me.

    I met her at waterloo train station coming off the eurostar, didn't even recognise her when she came out, my eldest sister started pointing her out because she had a vague memory but I had no idea what she looked aside from she was blonde and she was white lol.

    Anyway all she has done is let me down time and time again since then.  She contacts me when she feels guilt, relieves that guilt and then vanishes for ages and ages.

    So far it's been over 5 yrs since I last heard from her, I tried her last know numbers and addresses but the people speak french and are not very helpful, they say from my awkward conversation with them that she has vanished from their end too.

    I do have a whole family up in yorkshire, I lived with them for awhile and got to know some of them when I was about 22, I just never really felt like a part of them, we were too different and they hated my biological mother so my relationship felt strained because obviously I wanted to get to know my mother and didn't want to hear the negatives.

    They have recently begun to remake contact with me on facebook, they have no idea where my real mother is either, say the last time they saw her was when my grandad died (a funeral my real mother told me I wasn't welcome to attend) and she gained her inheritance, which is around the same tiem she vanished from my life again.

    The last thing she told me was that I wouldn't hear from her for many years because she was going to prison in france from armed robbery, I have tried searching her name in french newspapers to see if it's true, but I don't think it's true, she is an avid liar.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1195 - May 29, 2009, 10:05 PM

    Why don't you come back to Yorkshire? If they are starting to be cool with you! Plus I'll be up here to.  Tongue
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1196 - May 29, 2009, 10:08 PM

    Why don't you come back to Yorkshire? If they are starting to be cool with you! Plus I'll be up here to.  Tongue


    Haha yorkshire was boring though, and I had to take the council down there to court for racism too. I wouldn't ever move back to yorkshire unless all the rest of england was contaminated and only yorkshire was livable.  Tongue

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1197 - May 29, 2009, 10:14 PM

    Why don't you come back to Yorkshire? If they are starting to be cool with you! Plus I'll be up here to.  Tongue


    Haha yorkshire was boring though, and I had to take the council down there to court for racism too. I wouldn't ever move back to yorkshire unless all the rest of england was contaminated and only yorkshire was livable.  Tongue


    It's not that bad, most men here like Balieys - that is a euphemism for we like eating pussy!  Tongue Tongue

    God can anyone be as horny as me?
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1198 - May 29, 2009, 11:08 PM

    Here made you a joint:
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1199 - May 29, 2009, 11:40 PM

    Thats a well skinned joint, although I prefer mine a little more conical (reduces air to smoke ratio) - is it a double skin?

    Here's one I made earlier


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