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Theme Changer

 Topic: Berbs Blog, much madness within

 (Read 123809 times)
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  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1140 - February 25, 2009, 10:50 AM

    I just feel so guilty though, I feel like this is all my fault somehow, that even if I didn't suggest they should run away from home, they all saw my freedom and craved it for themselves.  Which is a good thing and yet I feel so bad.

    Whatever lesson my parents may learn, they sound so defeated right now that I don't think they can see what gain lesson wise could ever come out of it.

    It's not like they haven't found themselves in situations where the same lesson needed to be learned, this is after all the 6th child to leave home as a teenager.

    I guess it's less my words and promise that caused this, than it was a natural course of action in the kind of household I grew up in.

    We all crave freedom, even without you if they were gutsy enough it could've happened anyway. If your parents change then it may put your family back together. There is still hope.

    And you are right, it is the natural thing to happen in a house like that. You gave the rest of them some hope that their lives can turn out for the better and for this you should be proud. There is nothing to feel guilty for.

    Just look out for your sister and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1141 - February 25, 2009, 11:02 AM

    Stop feeling like its your fault Berbs.  Your parents have been through it five times before, if they haven't learned by now its nobody's fault but their own. 

    Just try and keep lines of communication open with your sister so you can hopefully advise her not to do anything silly.

     hugs

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1142 - February 25, 2009, 12:00 PM

    It's not your fault Berbs. I know it seems like things are looking down at the moment, but it will clear up. She's only 15 and may make mistakes, hopefully not too extreme. All I can say is just stop worrying about it being your fault, because it most certainly is not!

     far away hug
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1143 - February 25, 2009, 12:13 PM

    Maybe it's a good thing she has a boyfriend, at least she's 'normal'. But if I were her father I'd be pretty worried too. (My sister got a boyfriend when I was still detoxing from my Salafiyyah, and boy did that piss me off. I got used to it, but her boyfriends an arsehole, she can do way better...)

    But the rebelling against the folks is troublesome. If my (hypothetical) kids tried to pull that shit on me... unless it really was overly bad for your sister. But I don't see how getting beat by the parents can be that bad if you fuck up, it should be expected; unless if they leave you bruised and bloodied?

    I chose to get circumcised at 17, don't tell me I never believed.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1144 - February 25, 2009, 12:16 PM

    Maybe it's a good thing she has a boyfriend, at least she's 'normal'. But if I were her father I'd be pretty worried too. (My sister got a boyfriend when I was still detoxing from my Salafiyyah, and boy did that piss me off. I got used to it, but her boyfriends an arsehole, she can do way better...)

    But the rebelling against the folks is troublesome. If my (hypothetical) kids tried to pull that shit on me... unless it really was overly bad for your sister. But I don't see how getting beat by the parents can be that bad if you fuck up, it should be expected; unless if they leave you bruised and bloodied?

    If you've read her blog you'll see the beatings are quite bad.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1145 - February 25, 2009, 02:59 PM

    Quote from: awais
    But I don't see how getting beat by the parents can be that bad if you fuck up, it should be expected; unless if they leave you bruised and bloodied?

    Are you serious? No kind of child-beating is acceptable. It's only "expected" in the sense that such abuse is widespread, I hope.


    Agreed. Very much so. I think he meant the other thing and I hope he did.

    Anyway

    Sorry to hear about it, I've read your full story with interest and it is indeed saddening, a "broken" household is often the only result when "overbearing" (to put it lightly) parents lose control.

    I must also say you shouldn't feel guilty, although I only know the facts of the case based on your stories, I don't think you ever did anything wrong, but I can see why you feel guilty also. If I may say so this is unfortunately what we call Karma.

    Regards and my sincerest sympathies.

    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1146 - February 26, 2009, 02:13 AM

    It's definitely not your fault Berb. I really blame your parents here  Cry

    I wish you and your family the best;  Smiley



    "I'm Agnostic about God."

    Richard Dawkins
    ==
    "If there is a God, it has to be a man; no woman could or would ever fuck things up like this."
     George Carlin == "...The so-called moderates are actually the public relations arm of Al-Qaeda and the Islamic Republic of Iran."  Maryam Namazie
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1147 - February 26, 2009, 09:21 AM

    Thanks guys, I'm not feeling as guilty about things now.  I was just down over what has happened to my family.

    I think a seperate topic about smacking your kids would be a good idea, so I'm going to split the derail and create a fresh thread about it.


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1148 - February 26, 2009, 09:32 AM

    I dunno, maybe I won't beat them. Maybe guilt tripping will be enough.

    What would you do if your kid beat up another kid?
    Stole something?
    Broke someone's window?
    Cussed?
    Cry at the store because you're not getting whatever shit they want?
    Was disrespectful to their elders?
    Sexually harassed another kid?
    Talked back to you, repeatedly didn't listen to what you told them to do?


    I wouldn't hit them, if that is what you are expecting me to say?

    Quote
    What would you do if your kid beat up another kid?"

    I hope you can can see why this may be more unlikely if beating does not take place under their own roof?

    If they sexually harrassed another kid, I would take them to the police. 

    For each of the others (you dont hit them for crying at the store do you?) I would talk to them, forbid them priviledges, make them understand & feel guilty about what they did, treat them in the same fashion & see how they like it, worst case scenario lock them in a room until they stop crying and both our tempers has calmed down? 

    Kids can grow into ugly monsters under the wrong guidance.  As parents they are the primarly role models and given this important position, it needs to be respected, not abused.

    P.S You missed my questions?

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1149 - March 07, 2009, 04:32 AM

    Glad to know youre holding up Berbs Smiley

    I understand how you feel about your parents, it is a difficult situation indeed, but as mentioned before, youre parents needed to learn and their decisions have led them to learn the hard way. I really hope your sister finds her way.



    Quod est inferius est sicut quod est superius,
    et quod est superius est sicut quod est inferius,
    ad perpetranda miracula rei unius.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1150 - March 27, 2009, 03:15 PM

    Wish me luck, I'm off to hand over the kids to my ex in a public place, just waiting for them to drop off my eldest son so I can start making my way there.

    This is a one off because of a mistake with the hand over arrangements, but  finmad I hate feeling this panicky. banghead


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1151 - March 27, 2009, 03:18 PM

    What mistake? :\
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1152 - March 27, 2009, 03:21 PM

    The council that provides the transport said they need 10 days notice to change the drop off point, and my solictitor (plus me) forgot to arrange it in time.

    In two weeks they will drop the kids down, but today I am doing it.

    I feel like "fuck him, I am strong" but at the same time I'm scared.  Cheesy  Bastard.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1153 - March 27, 2009, 03:34 PM

    Oh, ouch. Good luck with it. When was the last time you saw your ex?
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1154 - March 27, 2009, 03:58 PM

    Face to face in court in december, anyway I'm back, didn't take long.  It's all over now.  Didn't even need the reassurance I came looking for in the end.  Wink

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1155 - March 27, 2009, 04:03 PM

    Hehe glad to hear it went well Smiley
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1156 - April 11, 2009, 01:41 PM

    Im so angry right now i feel like i could scream. I have my 15 year old sister staying with me now aswell as my brother are some of you already know.

    anyway my sister came here yesterday. Today my step mother phones me up and we spoke about my sister and the way she refuses to tow the muslim line anymore and keeps running away from home and hanging out with boys.

    do you know what she said to me?

    she said that because of islam she could easily get my brother to kill my sister now and that she was tempted. I went mental.

    she lets my brother do whatever he wants . He even sells drugs and she lets him yet she thinks thats ok and only my sister. Her daughter is fucked up enough to be killed.

    she said that if i had had older brothers she would have had me killed too when i went off the rails after she put me in a coma.

    she kept going on about how i was going to mess up her head and make her hate the religion too. finmad

    i dont even feel that i need to do or say anything to make my sister leave islam eventually. Just saying she should have her killed was enough to make my 15 year old sister understand more why i despise islam.

    anyway my sister is still with me. I dont know what to do. should i get my sister taken away from them to a place of safety? Im going to see what my sister wants to do first but if i help her leave home for good. They really will never forgive me. Not that i should even care but i do obviously.

    if my sister does want to leave for good i will help her of course. I could do no less. Cry

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1157 - April 11, 2009, 01:58 PM

    Just a thought...but how would you feel if "something" happened to her later at some point...after what your step mother told you she could do...Im sure you dont need that guilt on your concious right...its obviously not safe for your sister to returnt to them...its enough for your step mother to have actually uttered those horrendous words...it means it has probably crossed her mind as a viable option.

    Please dont send her back.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1158 - April 11, 2009, 02:02 PM

    What do i do if she wants to go back? I think she should leave home for good. I dont think its safe for her anymore. I think that because 6 kids have left home for the same reasons my step mother doesnt think she has anything left to lose anymore. She said that she was ready to go prison for this now.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1159 - April 11, 2009, 02:08 PM

    Is it just anger talking, or is she serious?  And if she is serious, could she really get your brother to do something so psychopathic?

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1160 - April 11, 2009, 02:53 PM

    Not the brother who lives with me. But the one who lives at home has already beaten my sister loads because she told him too. I know because when i argued with my step mum today she proudly stated she had done it and was tempted to go the whole way now.

    i honestly dont believe she would let him do it. Nor do i believe my father would ever allow it. But she did put me in a coma and she did burn me to make me taste the so called fires of hell. Maybe its best not to put anything past her.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1161 - April 11, 2009, 02:55 PM

    Oh, that's fucked up.  I hope your sister has the sense to stay with you, then. 

    "Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny."  - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1162 - April 11, 2009, 03:02 PM

    I hope so too. She is not really talking much right now. She's quite upset so she isnt opening up. Im just being patient and waiting for her to tell me what she wants. I already told her she is welcome to stay with me if she wants.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1163 - April 11, 2009, 10:29 PM

    OMG, that is so so scary. Just the simple fact that she could ever say that and how she boasted about having your sister beaten! Your sister is lucky to have you. I hope she doesn't go back with them.

    Take care.
     far away hug

    "Poor human nature, what horrible crimes have been committed in thy name!"
    - Emma Goldman
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1164 - April 12, 2009, 01:28 AM

    Not the brother who lives with me. But the one who lives at home has already beaten my sister loads because she told him too. I know because when i argued with my step mum today she proudly stated she had done it and was tempted to go the whole way now.

    i honestly dont believe she would let him do it. Nor do i believe my father would ever allow it. But she did put me in a coma and she did burn me to make me taste the so called fires of hell. Maybe its best not to put anything past her.

    This. Definitely. Making the nice assumptions isn't worth the risk. I'd also add that if you help your sister leave you could well be targeted next. This woman has already almost killed you and at the time she didn't even have much of a reason. Watch all of them like a hawk and be ready to notify the authorities at the least sign of trouble.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1165 - April 12, 2009, 01:49 AM

    Two ways to deal with this Berberella-- (1) The way I would deal with it, and (2) the legal way. Let's talk about (2) then:

    1. Report your stepmom to the cops. She made a threat against your sister's life-- that's a criminal act. You may want to think the best of her, but fuck the cunt, let her fuckin rot. Whether she'd actually do it or not, she's a scumbag for even saying it and she definitely violated the law by saying it. If the cops don't do shit, due to your association with CEMB, you have a platform to shame the pigs into action. Your sister will probably get housed with DHS/DYS (or whatever the limey equivalent of that is) while the matter is settled in court, and that will suck (for both your sister and you), but in the long run it will be worth it.

    2. Get a family lawyer (or barrister, or solicitor, or whatever you limeys call them). Talk to them about the possibility of taking the matter to family court and liberating your sister from your stepmom and dad, preferably to your custody.

    My two cents. Good luck.

    fuck you
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1166 - April 12, 2009, 08:21 PM

    Don't send her back Berbs, it doesn't matter if your parents wont forgive you for it, if anything happens to your sister you'll never forgive yourself for it as you were in a position to help. Your sister's safety is what's important here, not your parents feelings. And if you feel your mothers threat was real then I would strongly recommend you tell the police, this is a serious situation.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1167 - April 12, 2009, 09:39 PM

    Thanks for the responses. She is still here with me. Im calling social services on tuesday to report the situation to them and get some help getting her out of there permanently.

    im still so mad at my step mum though. Its disgusting to me as a parent to even try and understand why any mother would even threaten such a thing. I know its islam. Its these moments that really drive home to me why i cant stand islam.

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1168 - April 12, 2009, 11:05 PM

    They really think you will go to hell.
  • Re: Berbs Blog, much madness within
     Reply #1169 - April 12, 2009, 11:06 PM

    That's not a concern. The concern is that they may try to send her there.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
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