Mate, I don't think you get it, they are not pissed with me, they want me to come over, it's not about them forgiving me, it's about ME forgiving them. How come everyone esle knew what I was saying except for you?
Am a lazy reader.
My parents won't accept my apostasy, they think I am crazy so not to be judged. Roll Eyes Just a bad muslima going through a crisis brought on my an abusive ex husband, which unhinged my mind lol
How do you feel?
I think for them there rationalization is perfectly acceptable. Even though you might assume it is a false rationalization they have. It's just something humans do to make order in their minds. Should you really care how your family members justify your emotions and lifestyle? The only way I can see this changing is, if you show them you are not any of the things they assume you to be. Show them, a person is not "bad" for leaving Islam, show them you can still be a good person and (perhaps) even better as a non-Muslim. But then again I can see how this might piss you off, if they expect you to show traditional Islamic "modesty" by covering up, or them expecting you to act like a Muslim female.
This is about me being pissed at them, about not being able to let go of the past and the anger that I feel towards them.
Well, you gave your husband so many chances, why not give a chance to your father, I know you said he kept sending you back to your abusive husband, maybe he felt helpless and didn't know what to do, and maybe thought things might work out. In my opinion one should always forgive parents, as they are really an extension of you. If my mum is hurting, this also hurts me (I mean in the emotional sense) so I would try to fix the problem.
Can I forgive them? can I put it all behind me for the sake of my "dying" father? can I stop trying to make them accept the fact that I am sane and an ex muslim?
You can do somethings, you don't need to do everything at once. If your father is dying... I think you should go see him irrespective of what has happened in the past. I know its easy for me to say this, I am sure its hard. I mean do you want to be 60 thinking about if you would have ever reconciled with your farther if you had gone to see him when you had the chance?
I couldn't even get my younger sister to accept that on the phone yesterday, much like them she dismissed it as a phase of anger and depression.
Yes, well its not easy for her to accept that you've rejected everything they stand for... Don't you see how much Islam matters to them? they feel betrayed.
Do you forget my MBTI type or something? there isn't a type as forgiving as mine, or that thinks of other peoples feelings as much as I do.
However I have changed now, I am capable of not forgiving, my ex taught me that.
If your ex taught you that, then why are you turning into something you despise? Just go see your dad, that is my advice... But ultimately it is upto you.
Topic: Berbs Blog, much madness within