Skip navigation
Sidebar -

Advanced search options →

Welcome

Welcome to CEMB forum.
Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email?

Donations

Help keep the Forum going!
Click on Kitty to donate:

Kitty is lost

Recent Posts


What music are you listen...
Today at 12:04 AM

Qur'anic studies today
Today at 12:03 AM

Richard Dawkins...
Yesterday at 08:36 PM

NayaPakistan...New Pakist...
Yesterday at 04:14 PM

Father "decapitates" Daug...
Yesterday at 01:18 PM

AMRIKAAA Land of Free .....
by zeca
Yesterday at 08:23 AM

Daisy Chain
by zeca
Yesterday at 07:47 AM

Random Islamic History Po...
by zeca
June 01, 2020, 02:20 PM

Modern muslim stereotypes
June 01, 2020, 11:21 AM

مدهش----- لماذا؟؟؟؟
by akay
June 01, 2020, 05:22 AM

Muslim grooming gangs sti...
May 30, 2020, 08:04 AM

Coronavirus crisis
May 27, 2020, 02:14 PM

Theme Changer

 Topic: Do Muslim women go to heaven?

 (Read 27348 times)
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     OP - November 20, 2009, 02:57 PM

    What do MUSLIM women get in heaven?
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #1 - November 20, 2009, 03:04 PM

    A box of scorched almonds:


    "It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." - Muhammad Ali
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #2 - November 20, 2009, 03:35 PM

    How can a god call his creation an "abomination" because it does not rape, kill and pillage, re: reading Islam just makes me realize how stupid it actually is, and Muhammed splitting the moon, I mean WTF! and we are supposed to take this allegorically, what he split his ass crack? just gets me mad, man I think I am going back to my philosophy books and putting down Islamic literature   
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #3 - November 20, 2009, 05:10 PM

    What do MUSLIM women get in heaven?

    their husbands (well, at least after they are finished banging all the houris)

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #4 - November 20, 2009, 05:15 PM

    limited for choice then I guess
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #5 - November 20, 2009, 06:11 PM

    Funny how Muslim women usually don't know the answer to this question, or don't want to talk about it.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #6 - November 20, 2009, 06:56 PM

    Funny how Muslim women usually don't know the answer to this question, or don't want to talk about it.


    They don't know the answer. I asked many Muslim women from my family... They think I am nuts to even ask that question! That is a no no area. What ever Mo said that Allah said has to be obeyed and that is that!

    ...
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #7 - November 20, 2009, 07:39 PM

    I asked a scholar once. I pushed him on it.  The admitted that in theory women can have all the men they want in heaven, just like men can have all the women they want.  But that a good Muslim woman would be happy to be married to her earthly husband while he has all the wives he had here plus heavenly wives *and* concubines (I guess in heaven, they won't be twats). 

    Then I asked him if women can have women in heaven, based on what he had said previously, which was that in heaven, we can have anything we desire, like wine and fruit (and hey- who doesn't want to eat apples for eternity!?) and it is halal, and he got willy, willy angwy with me. 

    [this space for rent]
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #8 - November 20, 2009, 07:46 PM

    Growing up, we didn't talk about Jannat much other than being told (as children and as adult-children of a dysfunctional religion) that it was just the bestest, most awesomest place, like chuck-e-cheeses meets disney world meets Funland (an amusement park in Karachi) meets the biggest banquet of the best food you could imagine. All that times like million gazillion infinity and stuff.

    What's interesting is that Allah loves to talk about hell in vivid details, but leaves out such details about heaven to "your imagination" so that, well you don't need to imagine what to be afraid of, we'll provide that, you can just stay in la-la-land in your head about heaven so that you start believing in your own fantasy.

    This is what islamonline has to say about women in heaven:
    Quote
    In the very beginning, we would like to cite Ibn Kathir?s comment on the issue of men having Hoor Al-`Een. It reads:? Almighty Allah tells us that He will provide the residents of Paradise with beautiful wives who have big and lustrous eyes and 'whom no man or Jinn before them has touched' and who are 'Like unto rubies and coral'?.

    In fact, Paradise is the abode of the believers in the Hereafter. Allah has prepared for His believing servants, males and females, in Paradise indescribable bliss that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard of and that has never ever crossed the minds of people, to the extent that even the person who has the least blessings in Paradise will think that he is the most blessed one.

    In more than one Qur'anic verse, Allah, Most High, calls upon His servants to do their utmost in order to be favored with Paradise. For example, He says, "And vie one with another for forgiveness from your Lord, and for a Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for those who ward off (evil)." (Al `Imran: 133)

    All this indicates that in Paradise believing men and women will be showered with blessings; there is no room for discrimination based on gender in Paradise.

    Focusing more on this issue, Sheikh `Atiyyah Saqr, former Head of Al-Azhar Fatwa Committee, adds:

    ?Here Allah mentions the Hoor Al`Een because in most cases men pursue women and not vice versa. As for women, Allah Almighty may marry them to any of the believers in Paradise, if they did not get married during worldly life, or He may compensate them by making them feel content with their position. It is also said that Allah may grant women some kind of beauty with which they will feel that they are better than the Hoor Al-`Een and that they are their mistress, so they will not love anyone other than their own husbands nor will they feel jealous of the Hoor Al-`Een.?


    Keep the women fighting and competing within themselves. Keep the women subdued and "content" with "their position". Keep them "beautiful".
    Sounds great.
    For Muslim men that is.

    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #9 - November 20, 2009, 08:12 PM

    I wonder if Islamists stone cats for fornicating....

    "Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?" [Chuck Palahniuk]
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #10 - November 20, 2009, 09:22 PM

    I have known people who got their cats stoned. Does that count?

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #11 - November 21, 2009, 12:54 AM

    Isn't it lovely, that for all his being against materialism, allah only thinks the material appearance of women matter? So much emphasis on the way they look makes me sick, and I am a guy, who personally loves good looking women. All  I can say is that Muhammad must've been deprived of women for too long prior to marriage, this is further supported by the fact that he wants women to be covered up, or he was just insecure that the pretty women he forced to marry him married and enslaved would be unfaithful and leave him because they didn't love him may be tempted

    It is not the way you live your life that is important, it is how well you enjoy it that matters.
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #12 - December 04, 2009, 11:40 PM

    I have a question. What if a womans husband doesnt make it to jannah, then what does she get? Nothing? Does she become a houri or something? Seeing as how she'd be all "modest" end everything and wouldnt dare ask for a bunch of male houris  Roll Eyes, is she stuck with non-alcoholic wine and fruit?

    "We were married by a Reform rabbi in Long Island. A very Reform rabbi. A Nazi."-- Woody Allen
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #13 - December 04, 2009, 11:48 PM

    lol.. these questions reveal the undeniable fact that Islamic heaven is fail.

    Nirvana is better. Fuck consiousness.

    Iblis has mad debaterin' skillz. Best not step up unless you're prepared to recieve da pain.

  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #14 - January 16, 2010, 05:41 AM

    there is something i dont understand about islamic heaven.. it seems that most of the things that were forbidden on earth are now perfectly okay in heaven. which is confusing because all our lives we are preached that these things are immoral and wrong- but then suddenly theyre okay in heaven. as if god is testing us for no real reason, restricting us in mortal life, then letting us loose. sounds like a cruel joke.


    oh, and i wondered, is it possible sin in heaven?



    Quod est inferius est sicut quod est superius,
    et quod est superius est sicut quod est inferius,
    ad perpetranda miracula rei unius.
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #15 - January 16, 2010, 10:43 AM

    I have a question. What if a womans husband doesnt make it to jannah, then what does she get? Nothing? Does she become a houri or something? Seeing as how she'd be all "modest" end everything and wouldnt dare ask for a bunch of male houris  Roll Eyes, is she stuck with non-alcoholic wine and fruit?

    Even better:
    - woman marries man
    - man dies and will end up in jannah
    - woman marries another man
    - both die and end up in jannah
    - will the first man watch what he considers his wife do the second man? or can they have a happy threesome? Cheesy

    Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
  • Re: Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #16 - January 16, 2010, 11:14 AM

    lol.. these questions reveal the undeniable fact that Islamic heaven is fail.

    Nirvana is better. Fuck consiousness.

    You avatar is great - is it supposed to be another islamic miracle?

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #17 - April 09, 2014, 12:04 AM

    Growing up, we didn't talk about Jannat much other than being told (as children and as adult-children of a dysfunctional religion) that it was just the bestest, most awesomest place, like chuck-e-cheeses meets disney world meets Funland (an amusement park in Karachi) meets the biggest banquet of the best food you could imagine. All that times like million gazillion infinity and stuff.

    What's interesting is that Allah loves to talk about hell in vivid details, but leaves out such details about heaven to "your imagination" so that, well you don't need to imagine what to be afraid of, we'll provide that, you can just stay in la-la-land in your head about heaven so that you start believing in your own fantasy.

    This is what islamonline has to say about women in heaven:
    Keep the women fighting and competing within themselves. Keep the women subdued and "content" with "their position". Keep them "beautiful".
    Sounds great.
    For Muslim men that is.


    I can't help but notice that page no longer exists. I wonder if it's to keep the "enemies of islam" from having ammunition?

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #18 - April 09, 2014, 06:18 AM

    I didn't care much about paradise as a Muslim. It really is a very boring place with all the food, drink you don't get intoxicated by, men fucking other women constantly and scenery from some beduin's wet dream. And by the way, the most "correct" view according to a hadeeth is that the woman ends up with her last husband irregardless of her own feelings. When I asked about this, the scholar said it was because the first husband could not stand the fact that she had remarried or something like that Cheesy

    We have the general descriptions of heaven; rivers with milk, wine and honey, palaces, date trees, silk and cushions. These are for everyone. But then you have no specific rewards for women except that they are way more beautiful than hooris and that the can get pregnant and painlessly deliver a baby in one day. Because that's the only thing a woman would want and is good for. As for men, the entire focus is on sexual gratification with intrinsic details and description, as well as stupid things like men will go to the market place to buy and sell because this is what men enjoy. No women allowed by the way. No seriously, no women allowed...

    Women will not get multiple partners. I know most scholars who are asked this say, after being prrssured, "women will get what they desire", but then say that women will not desire that which is in their nature and having more than one husband is not in accordance with female nature. Moreover, there are specific hadeeths explaining which husband she will have, and what her options are if she was unmarried or had a kafir husband. That's it. No hanky panky for her. When asked, but what if she's in the mood while The Mr fucks one of his sex toys, the answer is "allah will make her interested in something else so she won't feel it". Do I have to explain why that is retarded, especially when they claim "you'll get whatever you want". Roll Eyes

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #19 - April 09, 2014, 06:23 AM

    Doesn't sound like much fun if you feel like swimming in one of the rivers.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #20 - April 09, 2014, 06:24 AM

    Also, if the women are supposed to be way more gorgeous than the hooris, why are all these blokes supposed to be wanting stacks of hooris to fuck? Doesn't make sense. Tongue

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #21 - April 09, 2014, 06:31 AM

    Apoarently men get a sex addiction as reward by allah, and bt the way the human wife is just the rightous trofy wife. Everyone knows sluts are way more fun in bed.

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #22 - April 09, 2014, 06:42 AM

    I guess it sucks being a woman in Islam (a huge understatement). Eternity of servitude to your husband. God couldn't think of anything duller.

    Reckless drinking, a lot of sex, and infinite food to stuff yourself with. Heaven sounds like a place for the debauched, not a reward for the pure and noble Muslims.
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #23 - April 09, 2014, 06:44 AM

    It really does all sound very silly. It's like heaven for brain dead bogans.

    "It's fukn awesome, mate. There's shitloads of piss and you can drink all day without chundering or getting a hangover. There's stacks of hot chicks and they're all easy, plus yer missus wont give you hard time if you're out fucking and drinking."

    This is spirituality at its finest. Smiley

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #24 - April 09, 2014, 06:51 AM

    What if you get tired of banging houri and human women? Can you bang Jinn women afterwards? I heard they're really hot...Afro
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #25 - April 09, 2014, 06:57 AM

    You always have the handsome young servant boys, maybe allah made them so handsome for a reason Roll Eyes

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #26 - April 09, 2014, 07:14 AM

    The houris will always have the upper hand. They can sing in a manner that will enchant everyone. They will tease us saying that they are the prettiest and have never committed a sin. When I was a Muslim I used to wonder whether it was better to be born as a houri or a human? The houris are less pretty so they will be called to bed less. Plus they don't have to come in this dunya where women suffer bereavement, get raped, etc. The houris get heaven for free without saying the tedious salat and don't have to starve during Ramadan. Then I realise that they are a bunch of jealous bitches (they tease and curse human women) and then I became happy being a human.
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #27 - April 09, 2014, 07:19 AM

    Y'know, I get the impression some fuckers really didn't think this stuff through very well.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #28 - April 09, 2014, 07:38 AM

    No, it's really just the first shit they could come up with in order to motivate men out to battle and die for the sake of allah. Fight and live, rape women. Fight and die, fuck hooris. Either way they're getting some action, which is the important thing. Women were useless, as long as they kept their honor and made sure to give birth to as many new followers as possible, and of course facillitated the lives of the men, women did their job. Fuck women, both literally and metaphorically Smiley

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Do Muslim women go to heaven?
     Reply #29 - April 09, 2014, 07:44 AM

    Like I said, some fuckers didn't think this stuff through very well.

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • 12 3 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »