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 Topic: Hello fellow apostates!

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  • Hello fellow apostates!
     OP - September 03, 2009, 04:39 PM
    Joined this site after browsing through for a while; you all seem like nice people to become acquainted with!

    Anyway, I have freed myself from the Islamic doctrine which my family undeniably held since the age of 16 and have been living on my own since, a great life in comparison I tell you.
    I am an Atheist Liberal who would like to share my experience with those in a similar predicament - wanting to free themselves from Islam - and possibly give them guidance. Also, I would be interested in joining into the debating/general discussion on this forum.

    Any questions, feel free to ask.

    Regards,
    Hadrian.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #1 - September 03, 2009, 04:44 PM
    Welcome, Hadrian - and I'm glad you managed to make that leap over that great wall that surrounds most religious minds.

    One could say you managed to leap over Hadrian's Wall  grin12

    (Sorry lol)
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #2 - September 03, 2009, 04:45 PM
    btw what did you mean held since 16? I didn't quite understand. Do you mean you became Muslim at 16? How old are you now if you don't mind me asking?
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #3 - September 03, 2009, 04:53 PM
    My family were Muslims, and therefore enforced prayer, fasting and all the rest on me when I did not agree. They were condescending, close-minded and totally contemptuous in my view.
    Until the age of 16 - the age where one can legally leave the family home in the UK - I've lived under their same roof, being entraped by their viscious enforcements, death-threats and oppressive ways of life, with no real independent hope for my future.

    So I fled the family home a week after turning 16. I've lived in a very nice appartment since then, changed my name, went to a good college and received good enough grades to admit me into Cambridge University next month. Basically, a life turn-over.

    I am 18.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #4 - September 03, 2009, 04:58 PM
    Quote from: Hadugh on September 03, 2009, 04:39 PM
    Joined this site after browsing through for a while; you all seem like nice people to become acquianted with!

    Anyway, I have freed myself from the Islamic doctrine which my family undeniably held since the age of 16 and have been living on my own since, a great live in comparison I tell you.
    I am an Atheist Liberal who would like to share my experience with those in a similar predicament - wanting to free themselves from Islam - and possibly give them guidance. Also, I would be interested in joining into the debating/general discussion on this forum.

    Any questions, feel free to ask.

    Regards,
    Hadrian.

    Welcome to the forum! It's great to hear that you are now free Smiley I'd love to hear more on what you went through and how you came to live on your own. I'm going through something very similar myself right now so would love to hear your story for some encouragement Smiley
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #5 - September 03, 2009, 04:59 PM
    Quote from: Hadugh on September 03, 2009, 04:53 PM
    My family were Muslims, and therefore enforced prayer, fasting and all the rest on me when I did not agree. They were condescending, close-minded and totally contemptuous in my view.
    Until the age of 16 - the age where one can legally leave the family home in the UK - I've lived under their same roof, being entraped by their viscious enforcements, death-threats and oppressive ways of life, with no real independent hope for my future.

    So I fled the family hope a week after turning 16. I've lived in a very nice appartment since then, changed my name, went to a good college and received good enough grades to admit me into Cambridge University next month. Basically, a life turn-over.

    I am 18.

    Wow! That's quite brave of you! I'm glad things worked out for you Smiley
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #6 - September 03, 2009, 05:06 PM
    Quote from: Hadugh on September 03, 2009, 04:39 PM
    Joined this site after browsing through for a while; you all seem like nice people to become acquianted with!

    Anyway, I have freed myself from the Islamic doctrine which my family undeniably held since the age of 16 and have been living on my own since, a great live in comparison I tell you.
    I am an Atheist Liberal who would like to share my experience with those in a similar predicament - wanting to free themselves from Islam - and possibly give them guidance. Also, I would be interested in joining into the debating/general discussion on this forum.

    Any questions, feel free to ask.

    Regards,
    Hadrian.


    Welcome to the forum. Hope to hear more from you. Please post up your bio.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #7 - September 03, 2009, 05:09 PM
    Well done, that's very very good!

    Are you a male apostate or female apostate if I may ask? Also, what's your cultural/ethnic background?
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #8 - September 03, 2009, 05:14 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on September 03, 2009, 04:58 PM
    Welcome to the forum! It's great to hear that you are now free Smiley I'd love to hear more on what you went through and how you came to live on your own. I'm going through something very similar myself right now so would love to hear your story for some encouragement Smiley


    My father was an abusive Muslim who gave me serious death-threats every time if I wasn't a 'Good Muslim', and my Mum was the classic example of a the 'kind' Muslim psychopath - kind only when her offspring followed the Islamic religion fanatically, otherwise an absolutely heartless woman who, once during a normal mother-son meal, threatened to butcher me if I was to 'be Gay' or not read the Qur'an (dear, dear; knowing now that I am not even religious). I'll have to brush-up on my past memory, but the whole story consisted of long-term family enforcement and potentially fatal demonstic violent against a stubborn teenager who wouldn't let threats get to him.


    ----------------------

    The first step is acceptance of the fact that you do not want to be Muslims, and ensure you read into why you don't want to be Muslims - and be absolutely sure that you believe that those doctrines in your intuitive, judgemental view are incorrect. Once you accept, then you will feel the rebuking urge of wanting to free yourself and accepting your new self - your Un-Islamic self; that is hard if you have family who are Muslims, but easy if not.

    If you have a family who is even 'moderately Muslim', then chances are that they won't collaborate with the idea of you leaving Islam. And if such is the case, then you must re-evaluate which is of higher importance: your freedom and liberty or your family's opinion. Choosing your freedom and liberty must only be done if you are sure there wouldn't be a risk of abuse, so ensure that, if you choose that option, you eliminate that.

    From then you can make the transition into becoming whatever you want to.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #9 - September 03, 2009, 05:17 PM
    Quote from: FinallyFree on September 03, 2009, 05:09 PM
    Well done, that's very very good!

    Are you a male apostate or female apostate if I may ask? Also, what's your cultural/ethnic background?


    Male. And I am originally from a Middle Eastern ethnic background. I hardly fit the stereotype, though.

    You?
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #10 - September 03, 2009, 05:24 PM
    Cool, welcome then and I hope you do well at Cambridge, you must be fairly intelligent to A) Make it on your own and B) Get into the worlds best/2nd best Uni.

    I'm also a male, my parents come from the Middle East but are of Caucasian (Russian, Armenian Georgian) and Balkan European decent so the Middle Eastern culture that I grew up with has worn of on me now and I have no tie with it. I left Islam last year after years of self conflict. I have it good though in terms of family life, I live with fairly nominal and at best culturally Muslims. My mum is married to an atheist and doesn't wear the hijab or do anything Islamic aside from fast Rammadhan, and my brother doesn't have a clue. So, I can be myself most of the time, except eat pork or drink alcohol, which I do enjoy but I can survive without. I also go to University and live on my own for most of the year.

    That's about it, your story is far more interesting of course.
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #11 - September 03, 2009, 05:32 PM
    Haha, no, yours is quite interesting.
    Your mother - Muslim - is married to your father who is Atheist. Isn't that prohibited in Islam?
    Wow, your family don't have a clue about the 'real' Islam - but that's lucky for you and everyone, i guess. If only my mother was like that.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #12 - September 03, 2009, 05:39 PM
    Sorry

    I wasn't quite clear

    My father is a die hard wahhabi who my mother divorced years ago (UK courts obviously) because he was a physically and emotionally abusive person, I lived with him for a while but was disowned by him for choosing to live with my liberal mother.

    She then remarried an atheist.

    Of course she knows it's haraam, but, she does it because she doesn't want to be alone and I think she feels guilty about it but keeps it quiet. She has a lot to feel guilty for though so I suspect she tries to pretend that these things arent important:

    1) She doesn't wear the hijab
    2) She doesn't pray
    3) She lives in a Non-Muslim country in a non-muslim town in a non-Muslim community
    4) she often wears shorts and skirts and tshirts
    5) she listens to music
    6) she hasn't eaten halal meat for 5 years
    7) She celebrates Christmas but not eid

    The list is fairly endless, as I said, there is some self conflict but I can't do anything about it, best to let sleeping dogs lie and the situation is good for all parties now.

    Anyway, this is your thread, I shouldn't hijack it.

    Again, welcome.
    "I am ready to make my confession. I ask for no forgiveness father, for I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. I did not ask for the life that I was given, but it was given nonetheless-and with it, I did my best"
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #13 - September 03, 2009, 05:40 PM
    Quote from: Hadugh on September 03, 2009, 05:14 PM
    My father was an abusive Muslim who gave me serious death-threats every time if I wasn't a 'Good Muslim', and my Mum was the classic example of a the 'kind' Muslim psychopath - kind only when her offspring followed the Islamic religion fanatically, otherwise an absolutely heartless woman who, once during a normal mother-son meal, threatened to butcher me if I was to 'be Gay' or not read the Qur'an (dear, dear; knowing now that I am not even religious). I'll have to brush-up on my past memory, but the whole story consisted of long-term family enforcement and potentially fatal demonstic violent against a stubborn teenager who wouldn't let threats get to him.

    Bloody hell! No wonder you ran away!

    Quote
    The first step is acceptance of the fact that you do not want to be Muslims, and ensure you read into why you don't want to be Muslims - and be absolutely sure that you believe that those doctrines in your intuitive, judgemental view are incorrect. Once you accept, then you will feel the rebuking urge of wanting to free yourself and accepting your new self - your Un-Islamic self; that is hard if you have family who are Muslims, but easy if not.

    If you have a family who is even 'moderately Muslim', then chances are that they won't collaborate with the idea of you leaving Islam. And if such is the case, then you must re-evaluate which is of higher importance: your freedom and liberty or your family's opinion. Choosing your freedom and liberty must only be done if you are sure there wouldn't be a risk of abuse, so ensure that, if you choose that option, you eliminate that.

    From then you can make the transition into becoming whatever you want to.

    I've been thinking about it a lot. I can safely say that I need my freedom, it's just a matter of getting over the guilt and actually doing it. I've got a few weeks yet to think about it.
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #14 - September 03, 2009, 05:43 PM
    Quote from: FinallyFree on September 03, 2009, 05:24 PM
    Cool, welcome then and I hope you do well at Cambridge, you must be fairly intelligent to A) Make it on your own and B) Get into the worlds best/2nd best Uni.

    I'm also a male, my parents come from the Middle East but are of Caucasian (Russian, Armenian Georgian) and Balkan European decent so the Middle Eastern culture that I grew up with has worn of on me now and I have no tie with it. I left Islam last year after years of self conflict. I have it good though in terms of family life, I live with fairly nominal and at best culturally Muslims. My mum is married to an atheist and doesn't wear the hijab or do anything Islamic aside from fast Rammadhan, and my brother doesn't have a clue. So, I can be myself most of the time, except eat pork or drink alcohol, which I do enjoy but I can survive without. I also go to University and live on my own for most of the year.

    That's about it, your story is far more interesting of course.


    Most nominal female muslims either don't know the rules regarding being married to atheists or simply don't care. I would say that my missus fits the second catgory. The rules are clear though and the ones who opt for the second including my missus are simply denying the obvious and are cherry picking.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #15 - September 03, 2009, 05:52 PM
    Congratulations on your Cambridge admission - I am amazed that you got the grades whilst living on your own and working at the same time. What are you planning to study?
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #16 - September 03, 2009, 05:57 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on September 03, 2009, 05:40 PM
    Bloody hell! No wonder you ran away!
    I've been thinking about it a lot. I can safely say that I need my freedom, it's just a matter of getting over the guilt and actually doing it. I've got a few weeks yet to think about it.


    Living under Islam for an extended period of time will inevitably bring guilt on occassions; it's part of what it's good at nurturing - the fear.
    I took the step and at few times was guilty and reconsidering out of my emotions, but soon my rationality kicked back in and I was reassured that what I was doing was the right thing - and life went on, and now I hardly consider Islam being as a 'true' path. Don't worry, time heals the holes of guilt, and the feeling of being free is euphoric once you're used to it.
    Having said that, do think about your next step and ensure you're happy. I may seem distant/detached in accordance to my actions, but that's only because I am stubborn in judgement and trust my intuition too much.

    Good luck anyhow.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #17 - September 03, 2009, 06:00 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on September 03, 2009, 05:52 PM
    Congratulations on your Cambridge admission - I am amazed that you got the grades whilst living on your own and working at the same time. What are you planning to study?


    Thank you.

    I'll be studying Maths and Theoretical Physics at Trinity College.   Smiley
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #18 - September 03, 2009, 06:03 PM
    Pray tell - how did you work, afford a nice appartment, go to college and get all As at A Level?
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #19 - September 03, 2009, 06:07 PM
    I hate you! I wanna do theoretical physics!! Cry But I'm too dumb :( Bah!
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #20 - September 03, 2009, 06:10 PM
    Quote from: Hadugh on September 03, 2009, 06:00 PM
    Thank you.

    I'll be studying Maths and Theoretical Physics at Trinity College.   Smiley


    Welcome to the forum Hadugh, though I've not been so long here myself! It's gobsmacking to read that A) you left at 16 on your own and B) getting into Trinity College, mate very well done indeed!  mysmilie_977  Afro Smiley
    Hear ye -->> DONATE TO CEMB

    Relativism | Cognitive dissonance | Cognitive biases | Memeplex | Consequentialism
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #21 - September 03, 2009, 06:11 PM
    I didn't have a great job for the first few weeks, enough to afford a basic living (which was obvious, since there aren't many good job-prospects for 16 year olds). I then became acquainted with a kind Police Officer who had linked me up with the correct authorities, which understood my situation (I was determined not to return home, and somehow passed... with my mum receiving an official repremandation from contacting/threatening me). This was just before starting college. I was then, probably through a sheer amount of luck, offered a great, cosy appartement in the centre of the City, became in receipt of Income Support and EMA, which earned me enough for a good living.

    So have been going to College, changed my identity, met similar people - which there are a lot - in the city, went to two tourist vacations and, now, I am looking forward to University. Which is a step forward.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #22 - September 03, 2009, 06:13 PM
    Quote from: PeruvianSkies on September 03, 2009, 06:07 PM
    I hate you! I wanna do theoretical physics!! Cry But I'm too dumb :( Bah!


    Ehm, positive psychology, please!  Tongue
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #23 - September 03, 2009, 06:23 PM
    I had to drop maths and physics A lever cause I couldn't do it, cant really be positive about that Tongue
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #24 - September 03, 2009, 06:32 PM
    You can, at least you did a subject which most people struggle to do - to A level.  Afro
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #25 - September 03, 2009, 06:34 PM
    Guess that's something. I make up for it by reading about theoretical physics in my spare time (minus all the maths of course!)
    ~My story~
    ~Collection of unethical hadiths/surahs~
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #26 - September 03, 2009, 06:36 PM
    Welcome Hadrian! Glad to see you here and looking forward to your posts.  Afro
    "Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused."
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #27 - September 03, 2009, 06:41 PM
    Quote from: Hadugh on September 03, 2009, 04:53 PM
    My family were Muslims, and therefore enforced prayer, fasting and all the rest on me when I did not agree. They were condescending, close-minded and totally contemptuous in my view.
    Until the age of 16 - the age where one can legally leave the family home in the UK - I've lived under their same roof, being entraped by their viscious enforcements, death-threats and oppressive ways of life, with no real independent hope for my future.

    So I fled the family home a week after turning 16. I've lived in a very nice appartment since then, changed my name, went to a good college and received good enough grades to admit me into Cambridge University next month. Basically, a life turn-over.

    I am 18.


    Wow! I wish I'd lift at that age. It would have saved me alot of "rebooting". Still better late than never.
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #28 - September 03, 2009, 06:42 PM
    So what are the subjects you will be studying next year within theoretical physics? Do you study about the universe, quarks, anti-matter and all that good stuff?  

    I did straight physics at at uni which was pretty dull (apart from I guess Astronomy) and my fellow students were quite far removed from reality.  I regret it now, I wish I had done something like anthropolgy or economics which I find far more interesting.  I found the problem with physics was that it was interesting when studying it as broad concepts, but as soon as you study it at a higher level it gets quite boring and difficult to relate to the immediate world around us.  

    I am sure you wont feel the same way, otherwise Cambridge would not have selected you!
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Hello fellow apostates!
     Reply #29 - September 03, 2009, 07:18 PM
    Well done on getting into Cambridge. You must be impressively smart to be doing maths at Trinity. I live in Cambridge just a stone's throw from the town centre so if you fancy a beer during freshers week get in touch.

    Good luck.
    Look not above, there is no answer there;
    Pray not, for no one listens to your prayer;
    Near is as near to God as any Far,
    And Here is just the same deceit as There.

    - Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam
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