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Theme Changer

 Topic: Scientists discover true love

 (Read 4609 times)
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  • Scientists discover true love
     OP - January 04, 2009, 09:18 PM

    http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/relationships/article5439805.ece

    Quote
    SCIENTISTS have discovered true love. Brain scans have proved that a small number of couples can respond with as much passion after 20 years as most people exhibit only in the first flush of love.

    The findings overturn the conventional view that love and sexual desire peak at the start of a relationship and then decline as the years pass.

    A team from Stony Brook University in New York scanned the brains of couples who had been together for 20 years and compared them with those of new lovers. They found that about one in 10 of the mature couples exhibited the same chemical reactions when shown photographs of their loved ones as people commonly do in the early stages of a relationship.

    Previous research suggested that the first stages of romantic love, a rollercoaster ride of mood swings and obsessions that psychologists call limerence, start to fade within 15 months. After 10 years the chemical tide has ebbed away.

    The scans of some of the long-term couples, however, revealed that elements of limerence mature, enabling them to enjoy what a new report calls ?intensive companionship and sexual liveliness?.

    The researchers nicknamed the couples ?swans? because they have similar mental ?love maps? to animals that mate for life such as swans, voles and grey foxes.

    The reactions of the swans to pictures of their beloved were identified on MRI brain scans as a burst of pleasure-producing dopamine more commonly seen in couples who are gripped in the first flush of lust.

    ?The findings go against the traditional view of romance ? that it drops off sharply in the first decade ? but we are sure it?s real,? said Arthur Aron, a psychologist at Stony Brook.

    Previous research had laid out the ?fracture points? in relationships as 12-15 months, three years and the infamous seven-year itch.

    Aron said when he first interviewed people claiming they were still in love after an average of 21 years he thought they were fooling themselves: ?But this is what the brain scans tell us and people can?t fake that.?

    One pair of Aron?s swans are Billy and Michelle Jordon who, 18 years after they met, still make their friends envious. The couple, who live in Newport Beach, California, hold hands all the time. ?It comes very naturally,? said Michelle, 59.

    Lisa Baber, 40, and her husband David, 46, from Bristol, say they still feel the same frisson as when they got together 17 years ago.

    ?He was crazy and so exciting, he whisked me off my feet,? said Lisa. ?That excitement is very much alive. We make sure our lives are always changing.?

    Other couples who have kept their passion include Tony and Cherie Blair and Michael and Shakira Caine. Michael Howard, the former Tory leader, and his wife Sandra have been together for more than 30 years.

    Aron said he and his wife Elaine, both 64, have a strong relationship but were a little jealous of the swans. ?Their relationships are intense and sexually active, too, without many of the downsides of first love,? he said last week.


    Life is a sexually transmitted disease which is invariably fatal.
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #1 - January 04, 2009, 10:04 PM

    Awww that's sweet Smiley I wonder if there is anything in our genes that could indicate susceptibility to this type of devotion, that would be interesting.

    I hope my relationship lasts on like that. We have been together for over a year now and it is stronger then it has ever been Smiley
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #2 - January 04, 2009, 10:36 PM

    Awww, It's sickeningly sweet lol I want some of that, I have a sweet tooth.  Tongue

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #3 - January 05, 2009, 09:39 AM

    Awww, It's sickeningly sweet lol I want some of that, I have a sweet tooth.  Tongue


    everybody does, Berbs - but few get it. I think I had the chance of that twice in my life... and both times... ah, well. convent ain?t so bad, maybe... Cry
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #4 - January 06, 2009, 09:57 PM

    Awww, It's sickeningly sweet lol I want some of that, I have a sweet tooth.  Tongue


    everybody does, Berbs - but few get it. I think I had the chance of that twice in my life... and both times... ah, well. convent ain?t so bad, maybe... Cry


    Get burned?

  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #5 - January 30, 2009, 10:24 AM

    I wonder if they looked into the psychological trends in these couples. Because I strongly believe that one's view on relationships affects his or her feelings throughout the time. Some people are stuck to believe that love doesnt last and they might very well experience that, but others see it as something that grows and evolves with the couple so it cant really disolve. I think it would be interesting to research that.



    Quod est inferius est sicut quod est superius,
    et quod est superius est sicut quod est inferius,
    ad perpetranda miracula rei unius.
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #6 - January 30, 2009, 01:26 PM

    I wonder if they looked into the psychological trends in these couples. Because I strongly believe that one's view on relationships affects his or her feelings throughout the time. Some people are stuck to believe that love doesnt last and they might very well experience that, but others see it as something that grows and evolves with the couple so it cant really disolve. I think it would be interesting to research that.


    I think there is much truth in what your saying, the power of positive thinking over negative thinking.  If you think he will cheat, he most likely will, if you think it won't last, your negativity will bring it down around you.

    I believe that, it sucks that I am a pessimist in love though lol  Tongue

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #7 - January 30, 2009, 05:43 PM

    Looking back now, I can see where relationships I have been in started to fail. In only one was I the one to start the process, she used me for years and I didn't want to believe it. So she used me until I was so deep in debt I didn't think I would ever get out. She wanted to control everything, what I spent, who I saw, what I did. When I stopped letting her, she went psychotic. And I left.

    As far as love lasting goes, it requires both parties to work at it constantly. And personally I think that "soul mates" and "true love" can come more than one to a customer in a lifetime.

    I think the more you love, the more you can love. One person or a thousand, it doesn't matter.

    Unfortunately, think most people get into relationships with negative feelings from a previous relationship being applied to the new one. Which makes it doubly hard to make it work.

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #8 - January 30, 2009, 05:58 PM

    Unfortunately, think most people get into relationships with negative feelings from a previous relationship being applied to the new one. Which makes it doubly hard to make it work.

    That's certainly true. My boyfriend was like that with me. None of his previous relationships survived the 3 month holidays. He told me he didn't think ours would either even though I constantly tried to reassure him it would. We did manage to survive it however and now our relationship is even stronger Smiley

    Me and him feel love can last, we have very similar feelings towards that subject so I guess that keeps our relationship going.

    I don't believe in 'soul mates', I prefer the term 'compatible' which makes much more sense.
  • Re: Scientists discover true love
     Reply #9 - January 30, 2009, 06:02 PM

    Unfortunately, think most people get into relationships with negative feelings from a previous relationship being applied to the new one. Which makes it doubly hard to make it work.

    That's certainly true. My boyfriend was like that with me. None of his previous relationships survived the 3 month holidays. He told me he didn't think ours would either even though I constantly tried to reassure him it would. We did manage to survive it however and now our relationship is even stronger Smiley

    Me and him feel love can last, we have very similar feelings towards that subject so I guess that keeps our relationship going.

    I don't believe in 'soul mates', I prefer the term 'compatible' which makes much more sense.


     far away hug

    I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I remain.
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