If I ‘d been asked a year ago about Islam, I would've said that it's a religion that speaks to the mind and fulfills the soul's unquenchable longing to unite with God.
Fast forward to the present day, and I would not know what to say... I would not even know where to start... I guess I fell like… I found out I was adopted.
I've been born and raised in close proximity to the Islamic holy lands, I do not remember the first time I saw the Ka'aba since going there a few times a year was a regular habit for almost all people in the area. I grew up in an Islamic atmosphere that is way different than the salafi puritanical method sweeping the world as the true version Islam today.
I was lucky I guess to have parents who taught me to respect other religions and opinions, and grandparents who even though were illiterate, taught me to respect science and knowledge. We lived in an area where people around us had different cultural backgrounds, almost from all over the world. I loved that place, and I still love it.
In first grade they taught us that god, The God (Allah), is defined as the one who created me and raised me with his blessing, a definition which I had to repeat, but never felt fulfilled or even content with. I realized later on in life, that I am a spiritual person, and will always be looking for spiritual fulfillment, which brought me to be what I have become today.
Hello, my name is what? My name is who? My name… like all of yours cannot be disclosed, but I am an apostate, but I am not actually sure about that.
Online I use the name whatabastor, funny story behind that name which does not mean anything (at least in any language I know)
I've come to this conclusion a few months ago, but only stopped performing the daily rituals of praying and fasting on the last day of Ramadan 08, I guess I wanted to mark the occasion.
It was not easy for me, and it still isn't.
At the moment I look at it as my cultural heritage and I am proud of it. Like I said, it feels like knowing that I was adopted, but my foster parents were good to me.
On the evolutionary scale of humans and religion I think that Islam is/was the most advanced, for its time anyway…
I've been lurking around here for a while, trying to get comfortable... and here I am...
I am a Saudi Arabian, my first language is arabic, and over 30 years old.
I have a blog, in arabic, for those interested... here it iswhatabastor.wordpress.com