UK exMuslim finally accepting my apostasy

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- Ronin
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UK exMuslim finally accepting my apostasy
OP - May 14, 2020, 02:23 PM

Hi All.

I was brought up as a traditional Pakistani, Sunni Muslim. I can recite Arabic and even memorised several verses in Arabic. I was taught to be able to read and recite Arabic but not to understand it. I grew up learning all the fluffy stuff about Islam and was someone who used to propagate it a lot. I would do Dawah in school, college, uni and eventually at my place of work. I used to join online discussions to do 'dawah' and I was partially responsible for a few people who converted to Islam.

The more I read about Islam, the more troubled I became. I was regularly discovering heinous facts that I then had to sit down and find excuses for in order to stay Muslim myself. Like many exMuslims, rather than accept the facts of Islam that I was troubled by and walk away. Instead, I began to become an apologist. Inventing excuse after excuse.

Then I noticed that a lot of the problematic stuff was from Hadith literature, so I decided that I would no longer accept Hadith as infallible. I couldn't reject Hadith altogether because Islam doesn't function without Hadith. So, I would pick and choose which Hadith to believe in. I knew this was a totally hypocritical position to take but it was the only way I could remain Muslim. I told myself the Quran was immediately dictated by Muhammad to his companions but that the Hadith were oral traditions collected 150-200 years after Muhammad's death.

After more research I came to realise that the Quran itself was an oral tradition and some Quranic verses has less evidence behind them than some Hadith did. So, for a while, I returned to the fold accepting Quran and Hadith again.

But I knew I was only lying to myself and making excuses for Muhammad. So now I've left it all behind me. Unfortunately, I live with Muslim family so I'm not fully out of the closet yet. Some of my friends//family know about my apostasy, others just think of me as a vocal critic of certain Islamic things.

Hope to have some interesting discussion here. Are there many Muslims on this forum?
- crumble
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UK exMuslim finally accepting my apostasy
Reply #1 - May 14, 2020, 02:39 PM

There's only a handful of posters here. The only committed muslim may be a spambot.

How's the fasting going? I assume you're keeping up appearances for the family.
- Ronin
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UK exMuslim finally accepting my apostasy
Reply #2 - May 14, 2020, 03:08 PM

I'm using Ramadan as an opportunity to try out the OMAD (One Meal A day) diet. I'm being harsher about it than Muslims. I'm only eating at Iftar time and not at Sehri. So once every 24 hours. I can't be bothered to wake up for Sehri.

During the day I have a water bottle in my room. so I might have some sips of that if I'm feeling thirsty. I took a days break when I went to do the weekly shopping last week.

Due to Lockdown, I'm kind of stuck playing along for now. Unfortunately because it's a Muslim household the iftar meal is bigger than I probably normally eat in a whole day anyway. So the diet is a big fail.

But the spring rolls, pakoras, samosas, etc are nice as starters.

So..
- moi
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UK exMuslim finally accepting my apostasy
Reply #3 - May 14, 2020, 04:04 PM

I know an atheist Jew. Is that possible in Islam.?

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
- Ronin
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UK exMuslim finally accepting my apostasy
Reply #4 - May 14, 2020, 06:13 PM

You can have Atheist Jews because being Jewish is a race/nationality. Just like you can have a Pakistani Atheist or a Saudi Atheist.

But Islam is a religion based on surrender and submission to Allah. If you dont believe in Allah, what's the point of Islam.
- crumble
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UK exMuslim finally accepting my apostasy
Reply #5 - May 16, 2020, 01:13 PM

Fried food in the middle of the night is not agreeing wirh my body. Also, it completely defeats any benefit from.fasting.

Talking of fried nonsense, a cultural muslim doesn't have to believe in anything except the oily food and bloated community.
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