Hi, Everyone! Just recently found out about this forum and want to rant for a little bit if its okay haha. Also i will be happy if you could correct my grammar or other things,english isnt my 1st language soo yeah.
I am a 21 years old man living in Yogyakarta Indonesia and currently in my final year at university. Ive recently decide to not associate myself with islam anymore although the change make me really feel lonely sometimes haha.
Little background about me: i was raised by muslim single mother( my father left us before i was even born). She is pretty open minded but not exactly liberal she still loath lgbt, sex before marriage etc, i practice islam since i was a kid especially by my teacher at school but never forced to pray or read quran at home, religion doesnt really play a big part in my family life. I started to doubt myself after hearing one of the cleric in his speech told me about how kafir place is only in hell etc, but what sicken me the most is how other people just blindly nodding and agreeing with that just because he is a famous cleric and no one really wanted to point out the flaws in quran itself. I had a chance to talk to him about quran and how it sometimes flawed etc and he look at me like i murder his daughter or smthng lol. This was when i was 15 yr old.
As i grew up i realized that alot of my value doesnt really line up with what quran teach, soo i decided to part ways with islam and live with my own way (sounds cheesy i know lol) although as a majority muslim country being an apostate is bad enough that i dont want to admit it openly in fear of my family being judged by the society and to be honest i am sick that i have to pretend that im still a muslim and want to live where the environment is more openminded.Currently i plan to save some money to study overseas and hopefully land a job there or maybe moved to bali haha.
Okay this was way longer than i though haha sorry for the wall of text, and if there is any other indonesian here or whoever else tbh. feel free to message me