Hi guys! I'm an ex- that currently still living in a country with the most muslims. I decided to join this forum so I could communicate with like-minded people more openly, and to learn from you guys about how to live with this different perspective and how to behave around others, especially when you're in the minority.
I started doubting about my faith since primary school days, even though I went through Islamic school until the end of middle-school. Some of my questions back then were pretty common:
- If some of my friends believe in different gods, how do we know for sure that ours is the real slim shady?
- (not a question) We're born into Islam because our parents are muslims, so surely we would think differently about our faith if they're Christians or from any other religions
- If our peace-loving god hates Israelis so much, why does he keep creating them? He should at least do something productive instead of b!tching and relying on his followers to do the dirty deeds!
- Why just because of god's flawed creations, Adam and Eve, the rest of humanity should carry the burden of their stupid mistake?
- If human evolution isn't real, why there are plenty of legit humanoids fossils that neither humans nor apes?
- Why I shouldn't fart while praying, does the almighty god gets offended?
- If god is loving and peaceful, why does he act like a prick and keep threatening us with a one-way trip to hell?
- Why does god think that there are humans that deserve hell, no matter how "evil" they are, when in reality it's their circumstances that made them evil? (who orchestrates their circumstances in the first place? bingo!)
- Do aliens have their own version of Quran?
- (and plenty other Qs that I don't remember)
But thankfully, I never actually asked these questions to adults, coz I thought I'd get into serious trouble if I did.
Fast forward, after I no longer live with my parents, I still feel like a disappointing little child, when my aging parents keep reminding me to pray and stuff. It really saddens me when I see them force their fragile bodies to pray five times a day, and then some.. I couldn't even imagine that my dad still wants to go for hajj somewhere in 2024 in his late 70s, when nowadays he can barely walk! Dear mum and dad, you guys should just enjoy your days playing with your grandchilds, instead of keep worrying that you wouldn't made the cut into the nonexistent heaven!
I also hate --and would love to have a chance to beat up-- the preacher who told my dad that if I don't pray, my parents would go to hell! coz no matter how I tried to explain to him that it's not true, he obviously would rather believe the cleric than his kafir wannabe son.. so, yeah.. thanks to that damn cleric, now I feel bad and gotta do some fake prays when I visit him, especially in this Ramadan, to put a bit of reassurance on my dad's face..
Lastly, I actually still believe in god, or the source, or whatever.. but I just don't see us as a mere creation, but rather as the extension of god.. like the Universe experiencing itself, so there's no meddling god involved! I also believe in the afterlife (without heaven and hell), karma (as introspection, not punishment), and reincarnation (learning new stuff, yay!). Anyway, even if none of what believe is true, it doesn't matter, coz I'd just cease to exist by then! I just wanna live a good life, having no regrets, and need no god to be a good person..
There are plenty more that I want to unleash from beneath my pressurized chest, but I think I said too much already.. so, sorry for that!
Also, nice to meet ya'all!