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 Topic: New member from Denmark, im turkish too :)

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  • New member from Denmark, im turkish too :)
     OP - July 21, 2017, 12:25 AM

    Hi everyone,
    English is not my first language, sorry for possible mistakes Wink
    I'm a 24 year old turkish girl living in Denmark, and my story begins with me taking distance from Islam at age 17-18, I left islam because i didn't wanted to support an disrespectful religion as Islam.
    I moved out from home at age 19 to study in another city, three hours way from my family. I'm talking a lot in phone with my mom, and it's so sad that i have to lie so much about what I'm actually doing. I have a boyfriend who i have been with 1,5 year now. I really felled depressed and anxious and just wanted to tell them everything and let the world burn down. But i had to finish my bachelor degree first, otherwise i was afraid I would never finish it. My family (Dad55, mom54, brother 31 and my married sister 29) took on a vacation to turkey, the day after my graduation, and i didnt wanted to destroy there vacation, but when they come back then I will tell them about me not being a believer anymore, having a wonderfull boyfriend who i live with, and my cat who i bought because i felt so lonely.
    I'm feeling so confused, angry and lonely, that i just want to disappear sometimes.
    I started having depression for almost half a year ago now. This week i feel much better, but i dont know why, and i'm also afraid it's gonna hit me with anxiety again soon.
    One thing i know for sure is, that knowing there is so many people that had the same feelings because of the same problem helped me feeling not so alone.

    Qustion 1, Advice?
    I think i'm safe, but i'm still so afraid of what's gonna happen when i tell them, and I don't know what to tell and how to tell them. I really love them, and don't want to hurt them more than necessary. Any advice to help a confused girl? Will it even matter to them if i try to tell them how much i'm hurting and that I cried for months, because i know they wouldn't accept me. I'm so confused and afraid.

    Qustion 2, after coming out?
    Did your depression and anxiety got lesser after you "came out" or did it got worse?

    I'm also interrested in having some ex muslim friends who wants to write with me.
    Are there other danish or turkish speaking people out here who wants to chat? Or someone close to my age?
  • New member from Denmark, im turkish too :)
     Reply #1 - July 21, 2017, 12:33 AM


    I haven't any good advice for you on your questions, I know someone else will chime in and be more helpful than myself. But I do welcome you.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • New member from Denmark, im turkish too :)
     Reply #2 - July 21, 2017, 09:26 AM

    Welcome to the forum,

    Unfortunatly I dont have any advice for you, but im really interested in Question 2, and look forward to hearing peoples replies on this.

    I live in the UK, and thought long about coming out, but in the end i chickened out, and decided to live as a cultural muslim because i did not want to loose my whole community. 

    But the thought keeps re appearing in my head about coming out, I truly believe that if i did come out, i would need to find a new community as im pretty sure i would not be able to keep my current relationships in their current form if i came out, and at my age(nearly 40) I dont want to go out and find a new community.

    But being surrounded by people who bow down to a fictional being 5 times a day gets a bit tiring after a while. especially when i think of all the immoral views that their belief upholds.

    A perfectly just God who sentences his imperfect creation to infinite punishment for finite sins is impossible
  • New member from Denmark, im turkish too :)
     Reply #3 - July 21, 2017, 10:06 AM

    Question 1 simply shows you to be a good person. None of us wish to hurt the people we love. However, this is not a choice on your part. We cannot choose what we believe or disbelieve. We simply believe or we don't. Question 2 depends on your subjective experience. How your family react, how your friends react, how your community react, how you react.

    Just remember that you are not a bad person for not believing islam is true, and CEMB is here for you. You are allowed to be you. You are free to be you. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • New member from Denmark, im turkish too :)
     Reply #4 - July 22, 2017, 01:05 AM

    Welcome to the forum Dansktyrkeren, have a rabbit!  bunny

    I would say you should feel in a good place before you tell them. If things are going well enough for you now, and you are not at all dependent on them, why not wait until you are also able to deal with emotional consequences too and your depression improves?

    It is definitely a challenging thing to come out. I think that those of us who feel safe enough to eventually do. But there is no need to rush.  Smiley

    how fuck works without shit??

    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
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