English is not my first language, sorry for possible mistakes
I'm a 24 year old turkish girl living in Denmark, and my story begins with me taking distance from Islam at age 17-18, I left islam because i didn't wanted to support an disrespectful religion as Islam.
I moved out from home at age 19 to study in another city, three hours way from my family. I'm talking a lot in phone with my mom, and it's so sad that i have to lie so much about what I'm actually doing. I have a boyfriend who i have been with 1,5 year now. I really felled depressed and anxious and just wanted to tell them everything and let the world burn down. But i had to finish my bachelor degree first, otherwise i was afraid I would never finish it. My family (Dad55, mom54, brother 31 and my married sister 29) took on a vacation to turkey, the day after my graduation, and i didnt wanted to destroy there vacation, but when they come back then I will tell them about me not being a believer anymore, having a wonderfull boyfriend who i live with, and my cat who i bought because i felt so lonely.
I'm feeling so confused, angry and lonely, that i just want to disappear sometimes.
I started having depression for almost half a year ago now. This week i feel much better, but i dont know why, and i'm also afraid it's gonna hit me with anxiety again soon.
One thing i know for sure is, that knowing there is so many people that had the same feelings because of the same problem helped me feeling not so alone.
Qustion 1, Advice?
I think i'm safe, but i'm still so afraid of what's gonna happen when i tell them, and I don't know what to tell and how to tell them. I really love them, and don't want to hurt them more than necessary. Any advice to help a confused girl? Will it even matter to them if i try to tell them how much i'm hurting and that I cried for months, because i know they wouldn't accept me. I'm so confused and afraid.
Qustion 2, after coming out?
Did your depression and anxiety got lesser after you "came out" or did it got worse?
I'm also interrested in having some ex muslim friends who wants to write with me.
Are there other danish or turkish speaking people out here who wants to chat? Or someone close to my age?