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 Topic: Divorce in Islam

 (Read 5162 times)
  • 1« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Divorce in Islam
     OP - April 06, 2017, 09:31 AM

    So this topic popped up on Facebook. I have friends who were married Islamically and had to get their divorce via a sharia court. They are notoriously difficult, often heavily in the man's favour (is anyone surprised?). If the man wants a divorce it happens pretty quickly, but when a woman wants it they take their time granting the divorce, even considering if he might still want to stay in the marriage, even if she doesn't. One of my friends fled from a marriage abroad, but she married him over the phone with an imam in the UK. When she wanted to divorce him, he got so many chances to sign paperwork, 3 months every time a new set was sent out to him. Of course he made her wait. But if that was her, I'm guessing they could even find a way to grant the divorce to him even if she didn't want to sign.

    Muslims claim this isn't the case, but of course we all know they just want to hide the reality from non-Muslims. I saw someone who had difficulties getting divorced claiming it was easy, but I saw her at her lowest, crying because she couldn't get her divorce. Why lie publicly?

     It's like when my brother got married, my father and the bride's father wouldn't allow her to go to the mosque for her own marriage. Her dad signed everything for her. The imam didn't even know if she was real, yet allowed it to go ahead. What would the imam have said if that was the other way around? The woman claiming to want to marry a man who is not present? Would he not say she was crazy and not allow it to happen? I don't get how any of this is allowed to happen, but at the same time I do. Men are in charge so everything is done their way.
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #1 - April 06, 2017, 11:21 AM

    That's the thing with Qawwamah and the very real fact that women don't have the right to divorce. They have the right to khula', which is nowhere near the same as "divorce" which the man has full and unrestricted right to. He can divorce you without you even knowing it.

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #2 - April 06, 2017, 12:42 PM

    the kulah require the woman give up alll her rights even give money in return for divorce the thing that open the doors for men black mailing their poor wife's who never worked nor owned any thing in their life .

    some countries in the gulf still require the men accepting the kulah (then why she paying to begin with )

    You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.
     Robert Frost

    ?Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.?

    ― Andr? Gide
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #3 - April 06, 2017, 05:36 PM

    What is the actual difference between khula and talaq? Because Muslims will say its the same thing, except khula is a women instigating the divorce. Obviously we know from seeing it happen that it isn't the case. Talaq seems to work even by just texting your wife in some cases..... which sounds like complete rubbish.
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #4 - April 06, 2017, 11:24 PM

    Khula is the woman instigating the divorce, and it requires that she give up her claims to her mahr and basically any other right she might have regarding the marriage.
    Talaq is where the man divorces you, whether you like it or not, but usually he has to give you your mahr.
    I never collected my mahr. Not that it was much, but it was something, and I deserved it.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #5 - April 07, 2017, 07:00 AM

    I mixed up my words in my previous post lol, I edited it but it didn't show up immediately.

    In a few cases I heard of, I don't think a woman cared about getting her mahr because it was something stupid like £5. Just a token gesture so the marriage could go ahead. All my mum got was her wedding ring. I don't even recall her telling me my dad promising her any kind of mahr, but that's what a lot of Arab guys did back then. They married unsuspecting white women who had no idea the concept of mahr or anything else in an Islamic marriage.
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #6 - April 07, 2017, 07:35 AM

    tree and north ,am sad for what you been through it is a horrible  experience

    divorce or kulah is horrible experience for women her in middle east beside the stigma .

        in a lot of cases the man simply lose interest in the woman , he treat her as hell yet refuse to give divorce then she have to go to court then the black mail start it is not just given up your rights of mahar or ring they usually demand tons of money , child custody even real estate .


      in other cases the man still want the wife and he know she is poor so he keep on demanding knowing she cant give .

    the courts was never at the momen side , where in few country the court can diside how much money she can give up and send him the kulah paper by mail , most of the gulf countries require him to accept it . so still no solution .

    You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence.
     Robert Frost

    ?Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.?

    ― Andr? Gide
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #7 - April 07, 2017, 09:03 AM

    Talaq is divorce. The man can divorce his wife at any moment, without any witnesses and without even her knowledge of it. Mahr is always the woman's right, and the custom that you only receive your mahr in case of divorce was not the intention. I'm not even sure it is completely permissible, but it was a long time ago I sat with my nose deep down in my fiqh texts...

    As for khula', it is not a divorce on the initiative of the woman. It is a request for separation. The woman can ask the man to divorce her, but in case he is unwilling she can take up the issue with a judge or whoever was in charge of legal issues back then (Muhammad was...). It's not like she automatically gets it, the husband can ask for the mahr (he doesn't have to), but he can also ask for more than just the mahr. It is basically the woman buying herself free if the judge allows it. He can always deny her request, even though there are no legal restrictions to the reason why the woman wants to separate. But as we all now, reality isn't always like it is portrayed in idealized texts and books. The legal text they use for khula' is the hadith where a woman came to the Prophet and asked for separation from her husband, because "she didn't like him" , and the Prophet said she was free to go if she returned the mahr.  Which means, she doesn't have to have a "legitimate reason" as she obliged to have when she asks for divorce where the judge decides the matter. For example, if the husband fails in some of his obligations towards his wife.

    So you have talaq, you have khula', but you also have separation between the spouses where the judge grants the woman the right despite the husband's protests (and she still keeps her mahr)...

    But in all honesty, who cares about the mahr? The mahr is only of substantial worth if the woman and/and in some cases or the man comes from a wealthy family. In most cases the woman doesn't even receive a mahr despite them agreeing on one. Because the husbands simply doesn't give her any, and the woman silently agrees to forfeit it. May Allah reward her  Roll Eyes This is the reality of women, of all races and creed, that economic independence is the key for any kind of female emancipation. That is also why all patriarchal structures and systems object to women's economic independence on the grounds of "moral issues".

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #8 - April 08, 2017, 01:44 AM

    Yes, Cornflower would know. I knew someone would come in here and get it all straightened out.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #9 - April 08, 2017, 07:11 AM

    This is the reality of women, of all races and creed, that economic independence is the key for any kind of female emancipation. That is also why all patriarchal structures and systems object to women's economic independence on the grounds of "moral issues".



     13

    Wonderful. Just wonderful. Framing women's economic independence as "unnatural" or perceiving women as too weak to be in control of her life.

     13 13 13
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #10 - April 08, 2017, 12:11 PM

    Yes, that is how it is perceived, pretty much everywhere.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Divorce in Islam
     Reply #11 - January 22, 2022, 02:14 AM

    Divorce  and Divorce courts in Iran..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYaRb070r8E

    Divorce Sharia Style  Real Stories

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nos1V9Rf1U


    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim
     
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