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 Topic: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim

 (Read 8601 times)
  • Previous page 1 2« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #30 - April 25, 2010, 07:49 PM

    Welcome!
     far away hug
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #31 - April 26, 2010, 10:06 PM

    Hi and welcome ateapotist!
    Nice intro and cool avatar.
     Afro


    Thanks Kenan,
    I've changed my avatar again.  How's this one?  I'm feeling a bit childish right now.   bunny

    Thanks virav5. You've got a great avatar too.  Afro

    Thanks kimo, Aurora, Nour etc.  Kiss

    I should clarify that I really do wish the relationship with my parents heals over time, but it's going to be very difficult, I think.  Cry
    My entire family (parents and siblings) are very, very religious and some are even learned, so there is a lot of honour at stake here for them.
    Most of my siblings are even learned in scientific subjects (which is worrying for the future of science!), but because they are so dogmatic by nature, I can't see them leaving their faith.  They seem to be incapable of telling the difference between good evidence and bad evidence.  I mean, like the Ahmed2010 guy we had the other day, they accept the so called miracles in the Quran as proof that all the dogma in Islam is true.  See http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=9989.0

    After I came out of the closet as an Atheist, we had heated debates for days about the evidence for evolution, origin of life, who created God, Quranic (so called) miracles etc.  I was well prepared with all of Dawkins' arguments, so I was confident.  I was, of course, not claiming that I was ABSOLUTELY 100% sure that God doesn't exist.  I told them that the existence of God is an absurd idea, and as unlikely as the existence of a celestial teapot etc.
    I had to be very careful not to hit any raw nerves in terms of insulting the Prophet and God etc.  They could easily have stabbed me to death.  My mum was so angry with me about my apostasy (because she's terrified of me going to hell), she even once told me angrily she felt like hitting me.  But I forgive her.  She's been indoctrinated by her parents too, and I can fully understand her anger at my apparent betrayal of all her efforts bringing me up.  I wish she could understand my right to a free life of my choice.

    I told them I was not asking them to become Atheists too and respected their right to follow their religion.  I clearly told them several times that I wanted to maintain good relations with them, but as I had expected, they were not prepared to maintain relations with an apostate.  They are staunch Islamists, who unashamedly support the Sharia and all.  They symapathise with the Taliban, and Islamists fighting for Islam around the world.  It's very worrying for the future of the West, I know. Cry   Personally, I was never comfortable with Sharia law--it seemed barbaric--even when I was a Muslim, but I ignored my cognitive dissonance and concentrated on my studies and work etc.  I preferred instead to rant about western foreign policy and injustices against oppressed people, just like the Stop the War Coalition like to do.  I was also aware that Sharia law is not fixed for every time and place according to many scholars, it's flexible.

    I will now try to live my own life without my parents support, although I really hope there comes a time when apostasy is socially acceptable among Muslims in the UK, and we can finally be friends again.  Cry Cry
    That would be a great ending indeed.  Cry Kiss

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #32 - April 26, 2010, 10:12 PM

    I've changed my avatar again.  How's this one?

    Yeah, it's good. The last one was anime/weaboo related too.
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #33 - April 27, 2010, 06:55 AM

    Hey welcome to the forum.

    "A good man is so hard to find but a hard man is so good to find"
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #34 - April 27, 2010, 08:01 AM

    Welcome to the forum ateapotist Smiley

    I'll be in a very similar position to you in a few weeks. Religion really does ruin everything.
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #35 - April 27, 2010, 09:42 PM

    PeruvianSkies,

    Really?
    Good luck.  You're gonna need nerves of steel.
    I wasn't so much worried about myself.  I felt I could grit my teeth and take it on the chin.
    I was more worried about my mum, and as it turned out, she was far more filled with anger and grief that I had imagined.  But I really had no choice?  She was getting very stressed anyway and I prefer to be honest about such a big thing.

    It's just another stark reminder of the harm religion causes.  It is a parasite/virus of ideas that only cares about itself.  The spell of religion/tradition MUST be broken.  And the sooner it is broken, the less pain there is for everyone.
    As I have mentioned in a previous reply, Muslim parents up and down this country continue to indoctrinate children about hell and deny them a secular education in favour of a religious education; all in order to perpetuate this religion.  
    I have written a blog post related to this on Atheist Nexus:
    See http://www.atheistnexus.org/profiles/blogs/teenage-muslim-girls-wearing
    and http://www.atheistnexus.org/photo/we-are-brainwashed-cult?context=user

    The religious elite have no idea what problems they are creating for mothers of the future, and indeed sons/daughters like me and you.
    I would really, really hate to see any other woman go through what my mum went through.

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #36 - April 28, 2010, 08:15 AM

    I already came out to them before but it went really badly. I ended up taking it all back. I don't have nerves of steal lol no

    I'm more prepared this time though. I think anyway. We'll see I suppose. But this time is different though, I have no choice. Uni will finish soon and they expect me to move back home, and that aint happening.
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #37 - May 05, 2010, 10:34 AM

    Thanks Kenan,
    I've changed my avatar again.  How's this one?  I'm feeling a bit childish right now.   bunny

    Thanks virav5. You've got a great avatar too.  Afro

    Thanks kimo, Aurora, Nour etc.  Kiss

    I should clarify that I really do wish the relationship with my parents heals over time, but it's going to be very difficult, I think.  Cry
    My entire family (parents and siblings) are very, very religious and some are even learned, so there is a lot of honour at stake here for them.
    Most of my siblings are even learned in scientific subjects (which is worrying for the future of science!), but because they are so dogmatic by nature, I can't see them leaving their faith.  They seem to be incapable of telling the difference between good evidence and bad evidence.  I mean, like the Ahmed2010 guy we had the other day, they accept the so called miracles in the Quran as proof that all the dogma in Islam is true.  See http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=9989.0

    After I came out of the closet as an Atheist, we had heated debates for days about the evidence for evolution, origin of life, who created God, Quranic (so called) miracles etc.  I was well prepared with all of Dawkins' arguments, so I was confident.  I was, of course, not claiming that I was ABSOLUTELY 100% sure that God doesn't exist.  I told them that the existence of God is an absurd idea, and as unlikely as the existence of a celestial teapot etc.
    I had to be very careful not to hit any raw nerves in terms of insulting the Prophet and God etc.  They could easily have stabbed me to death.  My mum was so angry with me about my apostasy (because she's terrified of me going to hell), she even once told me angrily she felt like killing me.  But I forgive her.  She's been indoctrinated by her parents too, and I can fully understand her anger at my apparent betrayal of all her efforts bringing me up.  I wish she could understand my right to a free life of my choice.  After all, what did my parents expect when they chose to migrate to the West?

    I told them I was not asking them to become Atheists too and respected their right to follow their religion.  I clearly told them several times that I wanted to maintain good relations with them, but as I had expected, they were not prepared to maintain relations with an apostate.  They are staunch Islamists, who unashamedly support the Sharia and all.  They symapathise with the Taliban, and Islamists fighting for Islam around the world.  It's very worrying for the future of the West, I know. Cry   Personally, I was never comfortable with Sharia law--it seemed barbaric--even when I was a Muslim, but I ignored my cognitive dissonance and concentrated on my studies and work etc.  I preferred instead to rant about western foreign policy and injustices against oppressed people, just like the Stop the War Coalition like to do.  I was also aware that Sharia law is not fixed for every time and place according to many scholars, it's flexible.

    I will now try to live my own life without my parents support, although I really hope there comes a time when apostasy is socially acceptable among Muslims in the UK, and we can finally be friends again.  Cry Cry
    That would be a great ending indeed.  Cry Kiss


    :(((. I'm sad for you Ateapotist.  But I'm happy that you came out to your parents. Your endeavour makes me rethink my plan to tell my own someday, but sadly, reading your final words, I feel as if I'd rather just live alone without the support of family than forever live a lie. It's just hurting them emotionally I cannot stand the idea of.

    Do you think your mom will ever forgive you? There is so much stigma associated with the word kaffir.

    Have a cookie: Sorry, I took a bite :/


    "If intelligence is feminine... I would want that mine would, in a resolute movement, come to resemble an impious woman."
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #38 - May 05, 2010, 10:50 AM

    Hey man, welcome here Smiley

    Really sad to hear that, I can imagine my parents saying same crazy shit. I think you are very brave and I love the fact that you wanted to keep them in your life and that you told them this. Give it some time, they will come to their senses.
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #39 - May 05, 2010, 12:00 PM

    :(((. I'm sad for you Ateapotist.  But I'm happy that you came out to your parents. Your endeavour makes me rethink my plan to tell my own someday, but sadly, reading your final words, I feel as if I'd rather just live alone without the support of family than forever live a lie. It's just hurting them emotionally I cannot stand the idea of.

    Do you think your mom will ever forgive you? There is so much stigma associated with the word kaffir.


    Thanks for your support Ephemeral.  Kiss
    I do sometimes feel very guilty for putting them through the emotional pain, but as I say, my mum was already getting very stressed.  I'm 28 years old now and I came out to them last year, so as you can imagine in the desi culture, a financially independent man should be married by then.  I'm really, really glad I saw through this false religion before getting married (and having kids!).
    I suppose what I could have done is, found an ex-Muslimah in a similar situation to me and got married to make both our parents happy.  I did actually think about this scenario when I was a closet Atheist and they were putting pressure on me to get married, but as soon as I gave it any thought, it seemed ridiculous and dishonest.  And I didn't know where to find an ex-Muslimah.  (I never used to be a forums person.  This is the first forum that I am active in.  I used to watch all the videos and audios published on richarddawkins.net etc.)  Also, I increasingly felt that the only way to break the cycle of tradition/religion, was if some people took a stand against what is clearly wrong.
    My simple, scientific mind just doesn't compute family politics, (or corporate politics).  I wish the world was free from corruption and everyone was open and honest with each other.

    I don't really know how much contact to make with my parents.  I live quite close to them, so they know that I'm alive and well, but if I make contact, it might open old wounds and trigger another spell of anger and grief.  And that's the last thing I want for my mum.   Cry

    Please don't take my words as advice.  I don't generally consider myself to be terribly mature.  hush  Although, I never ask others for advice either.  I just think for ages, and then follow my instinct.  Hassan, IsLame and BerberElla sound mature. Afro  (Although berbs can be alittle childish sometimes. Cheesy )

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #40 - May 05, 2010, 12:14 PM


    ateapotist, do you know Sheikh Ibrahim Mogra? He's an imam from Leicester, one of these inter-faith types of imams. I can't take him seriously, he was once on a documentary about the abuse that Muslim apostates face in Britain, and when confronted with the attitudes of many Muslims towards the idea that apostates should be killed as 'traitors' got very fidgety and said (I paraphrase) 'Look on the bright side, it could be worse. It could be 90% instead of 40% of Muslims who believe in the death penalty for apostacy!'  Grin

    I really admire the strength of your principles. Most non Muslims really have no idea of the personal cost (and sometime danger) that those who reject Islam face, from the damaging of family ties, to ostracisim and persecution.


    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #41 - May 05, 2010, 12:18 PM

    how did I miss this?
    Welcome to the forum dude!
    sorry for posting this really late

    I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star
    In somebody else's sky, but why, why, why
    Can't it be, can't it be mine

    https://twitter.com/AlharbiMoe
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #42 - May 05, 2010, 07:44 PM

    Hey man, welcome here Smiley

    Really sad to hear that, I can imagine my parents saying same crazy shit. I think you are very brave and I love the fact that you wanted to keep them in your life and that you told them this. Give it some time, they will come to their senses.


    Welcome back BlackDog (although I wasn't here during your previous spell on this site).   hugs
    Thanks for you support.


    ateapotist, do you know Sheikh Ibrahim Mogra? He's an imam from Leicester, one of these inter-faith types of imams. I can't take him seriously, he was once on a documentary about the abuse that Muslim apostates face in Britain, and when confronted with the attitudes of many Muslims towards the idea that apostates should be killed as 'traitors' got very fidgety and said (I paraphrase) 'Look on the bright side, it could be worse. It could be 90% instead of 40% of Muslims who believe in the death penalty for apostacy!'  Grin

    I really admire the strength of your principles. Most non Muslims really have no idea of the personal cost (and sometime danger) that those who reject Islam face, from the damaging of family ties, to ostracisim and persecution.


    Yeah, I heard about that on the radio once.  I'll see if I can find the documentary online.  It's a sad indictment of the Muslim community, when one of the most moderate imams is not prepared to fully condemn and distance himself from the 'death for apostasy' ruling in Islam.  To be honest, it doesn't surprise me.  I've lived with religious Muslims all my life and I know they don't think for themselves.  They fall into a group-think just like every cult does.  That's why free inquiry is so important.  (I suppose, I also followed the crowd to an extent, although I really couldn't see myself hurting anyone.  I was too busy with my studies. )
    pccoffee

    On a brighter note, I get the feeling that the new generation, particularly those who are integrated into mainstream society, do think for themselves.  Ephemeral is a good example. Afro

    That's why I despise faith schools.  They are a barrier to integration and a big divisive force in society.  David Cameron is definitely not getting my vote tomorrow.

    "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

    Baloney Detection Kit
  • Re: Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #43 - May 05, 2010, 08:42 PM

    Thanks for your support Ephemeral.  Kiss
    I do sometimes feel very guilty for putting them through the emotional pain, but as I say, my mum was already getting very stressed.  I'm 28 years old now and I came out to them last year, so as you can imagine in the desi culture, a financially independent man should be married by then.  I'm really, really glad I saw through this false religion before getting married (and having kids!).
    I suppose what I could have done is, found an ex-Muslimah in a similar situation to me and got married to make both our parents happy.  I did actually think about this scenario when I was a closet Atheist and they were putting pressure on me to get married, but as soon as I gave it any thought, it seemed ridiculous and dishonest.  And I didn't know where to find an ex-Muslimah.  (I never used to be a forums person.  This is the first forum that I am active in.  I used to watch all the videos and audios published on richarddawkins.net etc.)  Also, I increasingly felt that the only way to break the cycle of tradition/religion, was if some people took a stand against what is clearly wrong.
    My simple, scientific mind just doesn't compute family politics, (or corporate politics).  I wish the world was free from corruption and everyone was open and honest with each other.

    I don't really know how much contact to make with my parents.  I live quite close to them, so they know that I'm alive and well, but if I make contact, it might open old wounds and trigger another spell of anger and grief.  And that's the last thing I want for my mum.   Cry

    Please don't take my words as advice.  I don't generally consider myself to be terribly mature.  hush  Although, I never ask others for advice either.  I just think for ages, and then follow my instinct.  Hassan, IsLame and BerberElla sound mature. Afro  (Although berbs can be alittle childish sometimes. Cheesy )


    Lol I'm a little young but i get where you're coming from about the whole relationship aspect. It would be hard, especially as a woman, if they want me to actually get married to a muslim person. Which is why of course I've stated that i'm not going to get married before I'm 30 (no pakistani muslim marries a 30 year old woman Cheesy). My mom doesn't believe me of course lol.

    Good luck, and just know that you (as a man) don't need to worry about marrying a muslim or non-muslim woman because men can do that anyway in Islam so your parents shouldn't protest too much. Cheesy Just take it easy and it'll find you Wink.

    Also, no worries. I will deal with my own problems in my way.

    "If intelligence is feminine... I would want that mine would, in a resolute movement, come to resemble an impious woman."
  • Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #44 - March 17, 2019, 11:39 PM

    Hey Everyone. I've been an ex-muslim for several years and I help run a very active, underground ex-muslim social group.

    For any Ex-Muslims based in the Midlands - there is a large and very active Ex-Muslim social group, based on a secret group on facebook. We have regular large socials (30+ attending), occasional parties and a facebook group, where everyone interacts.

    The group is 100% private because of the need of many ex-muslims to remain anonymous, due to the difficulties regarding apostasy. Therefore, we meet everyone in person before they join, which gives the group a very personal touch, as most people have met each other. The group is around 100 Ex-Muslims, all based in the Midlands.

    To join, please PM me

    Thanks
  • Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #45 - March 18, 2019, 12:10 AM

    Hey, welcome

    And you posted this on three different threads? Wasn't sure which one I should respond to, but I think I'll deface this intro from a wonderful guy as that seems right.

    Hope you collect some midlanders on here 

    Hi
  • Hello everyone from a new ex-Muslim
     Reply #46 - March 18, 2019, 12:50 AM

    Hey Thanks. I did. Fairly new to the CEMB forum - I wasn't sure where was best to post the information - so I tried making a few threads and replying to threads that contained the names of cities in the Midlands. Any advice would be appreciated Smiley

    We normally advertise the group on the ex-msulim su-Reddit but the forum wouldn't let me post links. I also have a facebook account that I use to speak to new people who wish to start the process of joining the group.
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