Need to know I'm not going mad
Reply #2 - January 20, 2016, 10:21 PM
I had similar thoughts and fears prior to finally accepting that I was an ex-Muslim.
When I was in university, I badly wanted to stop wearing the headscarf but I was scared that doing so would get me disowned by my family. I struggled with it and suffered with my conscience for years. It took admitting I actually wasn't religious and changing how I wore it to get SOME peace of mind, and finally taking it off for good after more than a decade to feel free.
Sadly, my own sister seems uncomfortable with acknowledging that I had these issues over the headscarf for so long, despite her support of my apostasy.
Anyway, I mean to say that no, you are not going mad. Others have been in your position and many more are going through it. The only ones who ARE mad in my view are the Muslims who insist that people only leave because they were spiritually abused and weren't strong enough to tough out "a few bruises". They have no desire to acknowledge that people have many reasons for leaving, especially in regards to the actual scripture itself as it threatens their belief that the Qur'an is infallible.
Denial only hurts the Muslim world, and has already done a number on it. :(