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Theme Changer

 Topic: The Wahhy Project

 (Read 26306 times)
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  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #210 - June 14, 2014, 02:10 PM

    سورة الويد

    الويد
    ماالويد
    و ما أدراك ماالويد
    ورقة أنبتناها و باركنا فيها لكل مرتد سعيد
    لتبتغوا من فضلها و لتأخذوا منها من كل شيئ مفيد
    نععمة من عندنا ذلك لمن يدخنها من الناس أو يستخدمها كيف يريد

    https://soundcloud.com/user23650210/surah-weed-2

    Suratul Weed

    Al weed
    Mal weed
    Wa maa adraaka mal weed
    Waraqatun anbatnaaha wa baarakna fiha li kulli murtadin sa'eed
    Li tabtaghoo min fadhliha wa li ta'khuthu minhaa min kulli shay'in mufeed
    Ni'matan min 'indina. Thalika liman yudakhinuha min an naasi aw yastakhdimuhaa kayfa yureed


    The weed
    What is the weed?
    And what shall make you know what the weed is?
    A leaf we have caused to grow and have placed therein much blessing for every happy apostate
    So that you make seek of its bounty and take therefrom of every useful thing
    A blessing from Us. That is for whoever smokes it of the people or uses it as he wants


    Grin Grin

    Wouldn't Hajj be something far more spiritual, if we were all just supposed to sit around and smoke weed together as we contemplated life, god, the universe?  

    Why remove the good old fashioned use of intoxicants to commune with the spirits.  Makes them far more real.

    Anyway....I light up now.  I pray.  


    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #211 - August 19, 2014, 06:20 PM

    where can i download these things HM Cheesy

    Dogs never bite me - just humans. ~ M. Monroe

    Religions seem to cause more grief than good.

    Exmuslim Chat
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #212 - August 19, 2014, 06:28 PM

    where can i download these things HM Cheesy

    well HM is a Murtad  Prophet.,

    Prophets don't write books or all revelation together., they say   and scatter them  around whenever they are on high with allah..  Cheesy

    So to catch all of those revelations you have to keep an eye on Murtad  Prophet 

    Do not let silence become your legacy  
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim
     
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #213 - August 19, 2014, 06:41 PM

    i want to download ittttt

    Dogs never bite me - just humans. ~ M. Monroe

    Religions seem to cause more grief than good.

    Exmuslim Chat
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #214 - August 19, 2014, 06:43 PM

    or shud i memorize it?
    :O

    Dogs never bite me - just humans. ~ M. Monroe

    Religions seem to cause more grief than good.

    Exmuslim Chat
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #215 - August 19, 2014, 06:43 PM

    سورة الويد

    الويد
    ماالويد
    و ما أدراك ماالويد
    ورقة أنبتناها و باركنا فيها لكل مرتد سعيد
    لتبتغوا من فضلها و لتأخذوا منها من كل شيئ مفيد
    نععمة من عندنا ذلك لمن يدخنها من الناس أو يستخدمها كيف يريد

    https://soundcloud.com/user23650210/surah-weed-2

    Suratul Weed

    Al weed
    Mal weed
    Wa maa adraaka mal weed
    Waraqatun anbatnaaha wa baarakna fiha li kulli murtadin sa'eed
    Li tabtaghoo min fadhliha wa li ta'khuthu minhaa min kulli shay'in mufeed
    Ni'matan min 'indina. Thalika liman yudakhinuha min an naasi aw yastakhdimuhaa kayfa yureed


    The weed
    What is the weed?
    And what shall make you know what the weed is?
    A leaf we have caused to grow and have placed therein much blessing for every happy apostate
    So that you make seek of its bounty and take therefrom of every useful thing
    A blessing from Us. That is for whoever smokes it of the people or uses it as he wants


    how did I miss this  Cheesy

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #216 - August 21, 2014, 12:56 AM

    Surat al my name is khan and I am not terrorist
    Has thou not heardest da story of sharukh khan thy lord hadst sent him as a prophet to mankind lo thou hadst made this faithful creature forget thy message and caused him to wander freely in search of thy message lo god knows that which ye knows not did thou not think what would happen to khan hadth thy lord not showed him the message let thou know his name is khan and he Is not a terorist Cheesy
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #217 - August 21, 2014, 07:31 PM

    Surat-ul Lota

    By He who does not pump during the night,
    Cursed are those who use toilet paper with their right hand,
    The right hand which for some inexplicable reason is better than the left,
    They use the paper to wipe their arse and replace it not,
    Doubly cursed are those who accumulate their crime by hoarding their wealth,
    When they see the toilet paper is ended they replace it with one that is of inferior quality,
    So when one goes to wipe the arse the paper falls apart as did Mount Sinai,
    Upon the Day of Ressurection We shall reconstruct the very fingertips of thy hand,
    And your shit stained hands will testify to the vile deed undertaken,
    Verily Allah sees all, smells all.
    It is better for you to use the lota so that you may cease your quarelling,
    This may cause toilet paper manufacturers to declare bankruptcy,
    But fear not for Allah will replace their villainous trade with one that is better,
    They shall become shoes saleman and wander the streets,
    They shall be the blessing of the people who feel the aching in their soles,
    And the people shall rejoice in the knowledge that their arseholes smell fresh,
    For that is better for them than to have remnants of last nights curry smeared to their hole,
    Veily Allah knows all, smells all.


    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #218 - August 21, 2014, 08:03 PM

    سورة الويد

    الويد
    ماالويد
    و ما أدراك ماالويد
    ورقة أنبتناها و باركنا فيها لكل مرتد سعيد
    لتبتغوا من فضلها و لتأخذوا منها من كل شيئ مفيد
    نععمة من عندنا ذلك لمن يدخنها من الناس أو يستخدمها كيف يريد

    https://soundcloud.com/user23650210/surah-weed-2

    Suratul Weed

    Al weed
    Mal weed
    Wa maa adraaka mal weed
    Waraqatun anbatnaaha wa baarakna fiha li kulli murtadin sa'eed
    Li tabtaghoo min fadhliha wa li ta'khuthu minhaa min kulli shay'in mufeed
    Ni'matan min 'indina. Thalika liman yudakhinuha min an naasi aw yastakhdimuhaa kayfa yureed


    The weed
    What is the weed?
    And what shall make you know what the weed is?
    A leaf we have caused to grow and have placed therein much blessing for every happy apostate
    So that you make seek of its bounty and take therefrom of every useful thing
    A blessing from Us. That is for whoever smokes it of the people or uses it as he wants

       

    I'm gonna use this to practice my tajweed  grin12

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #219 - August 21, 2014, 09:51 PM

    loool at surat ul lota
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #220 - August 21, 2014, 09:51 PM

    didsth thou heard of thy story of lot today thy lord shall recite the story his brother thy lota hahahaha
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #221 - June 01, 2015, 09:08 PM

    Guys, there should be suras made and prepared and ofc memorized because ramadan is coming on its way!!! Cheesy Cheesy

    Dogs never bite me - just humans. ~ M. Monroe

    Religions seem to cause more grief than good.

    Exmuslim Chat
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #222 - October 05, 2015, 04:37 PM

    Surat Vote for lua

    1.   By the Ex and the Crescent.
    2.   By her posts most pleasant.
    3.   lua! None is worthy of votes save her, the Grossly Incandescent.
    4.   To her belong all votes on the forum and all votes off the forum and all votes in between, whether she be absent or present.
    5.   Those whom ye may nominate besides lua shall never be accepted and shall have their votes rejected.
    6.   Say: Search through the forum and see what was the end of those who opposed lua. Many she embarrassed and many she left dejected.
    7.   Or she ejected them with a mighty banning! Thus were the ones who opposed lua sorely disrespected.
    8.   AllPraiseToHarith opposed lua, on aspartame he disputed.
    9.   So lua rebuked him in 5 pages, each of his arguments she refuted.
    10.   Then was his account banned; from the forum he was booted.
    11.   So wretched was the end of one whose posts were convoluted.
    12.   Bigmo opposed lua and on an intro thread he intruded.
    13.   So lua confronted him, on a summer day they feuded.
    14.   Thus did she destroy him who was arrogant, deluded!
    15.   Then the boot came to bigmo just as Hartith was booted.
    16.   CallMeTed opposed lua, so wretched was the end of one whose posts were convoluted
    17.   Lo! He gave diagnosis though he was ignorant, unsuited!
    18.   So lua snatched away his stars, thus was his voice muted.
    19.   Then the boot came to CallMeTed just as Bigmo was booted.
    20.   These are the tales of those who opposed lua before you, their endings were all dreadful.
    21.   Those who were rebellious, ignorant, arrogant and disrespectful.
    22.   So remember your duty towards lua and do not be neglectful.
    23.   Surely, your lua is One lua, there is no lua besides She. So vote for Her so that you may be successful.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #223 - October 05, 2015, 06:18 PM

    The Gays

    1. The gays.
    2. THE GAYS!! [The ulama say that this is important to capitalize and include the two exclamation points.]
    3. Surely they just want to be with the one they love, just like you.
    4. Surely gay marriage is not going to destroy your marriage.
    5. If your marriage fails after gay marriage becomes legal, it was probably going to fail before gay marriage became legal.
    6. So stop being a dick to people.
    7. Also, bisexual does not mean that they want to be with people of both genders at the same time, necessarily, but if they do, that's fine too.
    8. And surely asexuals do exist and they are not broken, nor are they exalted.
    9. So be not afraid if you do not have sexual urges,
    10. nor allow anyone to pressure you to have sex against your will.
    11. And surely that last one is good for all of you.

    The Euthanasia

    1. The Euthanasia.
    2. Surely it is not "youth in Asia."
    3. Seriously, learn what you're protesting
    4. Before you complain about what you're detesting.
    5. And they say, "What of the sanctity of life?"
    6. Do you really care about your husband or wife?
    7. Would you want to see them suffer in needless pain?
    8. From that, what do you think they will gain?
    9. If we intended for them for twenty years to be on a respirator,
    10. an IV drip, heart rate monitor, and a ventilator,
    11. Surely We would have sent those machines down
    12. And it would have not been by advances in science found.
    13. Do you think there was no one who was with their condition
    14. For thousands of years before this kind of equipment?
    15. Love means to cherish and life is soon over,
    16. So learn to enjoy it, you get no do-over.
    17. Don't prolong suffering more than is due,
    18. For it benefits no one--not them, not you.

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #224 - October 06, 2015, 04:18 PM

    Jesus Jedi, that 'Surah-ul Lota' is harsh stuff. I don't know wether to admire you for your attention to detail regarding all things 'bowel evacuation' concerned or be repulsed by the whole thing? Currently I'm gravitating toward the later.
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #225 - December 07, 2015, 06:02 PM


    Surah Ted

    1.   Say: I seek refuge from the Ignorance of Ted
    2.   The Stupidity of Ted
    3.   The Trolling of Ted
    4.   From the pain that enters the head when conversing with ted
    5.   Which creeps in and seeks to leave brain cells dead
    6.   With everything that he says and everything he has said

  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #226 - December 07, 2015, 07:42 PM

    Wahyul Qalam

    Suratul Cheese

    68:1
    Z. And the cheese that you eat with bread.
    68:2
    You (O Muhammad) by the favour of thy Lord shall not eat jam instead
    68:3
    And indeed, for you is a delicious spread
    68:4
    And indeed, you are a great culinary figurehead
    68:5
    So they will eat, and you will be fed
    68:6
    Which cheese is superior: blue or red?
    68:7
    Indeed, thy Lord is aware of the vegans, whose distaste for this delicacy is recognised
    68:8
    So obey not those dickheads!
    68:9
    They wish to mislead you so you may be misled
    68:10
    And obey not what every lactose-intolerant entity said
    68:11
    Deceivers! Going about with Hell waiting ahead
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #227 - December 07, 2015, 07:46 PM

     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #228 - December 07, 2015, 07:55 PM

    Wahyul Qalam

    Suratul Cheese

    68:1
    Z. And the cheese that you eat with bread.
    68:2
    You (O Muhammad) by the favour of thy Lord shall not eat jam instead
    68:3
    And indeed, for you is a delicious spread
    68:4
    And indeed, you are a great culinary figurehead
    68:5
    So they will eat, and you will be fed
    68:6
    Which cheese is superior: blue or red?
    68:7
    Indeed, thy Lord is aware of the vegans, whose distaste for this delicacy is recognised
    68:8
    So obey not those dickheads!
    68:9
    They wish to mislead you so you may be misled
    68:10
    And obey not what every lactose-intolerant entity said
    68:11
    Deceivers! Going about with Hell waiting ahead



    This was genius.  Cheesy

    "If you don't like your religion's fundamentalists, then maybe there's something wrong with your religion's fundamentals."
    "Demanding blind respect but not offering any respect in reciprocation is laughable."
    "Let all the people in all the worlds be in peace."
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #229 - December 07, 2015, 08:16 PM


    68:12
    Deniers of dairy, and furthermore, inbred!
    68:13
    That they be of vegetables fed
    68:14
    When our cheeses are presented to them, they say “milkers of cows, misled!”
    68:15
    We shall brand them on the head
    68:16
    Lo! We try them as we tried the Carnivorous Ones (dinosaurs) before them, so they (all) ended up dead.
    68:17
    Behold, they only feasted upon (the meat of) smaller creatures and bit them as they bled
    68:18
    So your Lord set upon them a comet from above while they slept (as if) in bed
    68:19
    So they became fossilized (hard as) lead
    68:20
    Then the omnivores followed in their stead
    68:21
    Such is the punishment (of those who eat only one sort of food) Though the punishment of the hereafter is greater than what We just said
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #230 - December 07, 2015, 08:53 PM

    ^^ you're better at this than I am, brilliant  13
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #231 - December 07, 2015, 11:28 PM

    I was chatting on the phone with AGirlWithDoubts the other night. Lounging in bed, sleepy, I gave a spur of the moment surah. I was pleased an actual Arabic speaker who's memorised so much of the scripture said she'd believe it actually was from the quran.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #232 - December 08, 2015, 12:10 AM

    That's because it was not "spur of the moment", it was a divine revelation from the Almighty himself!

    Now that this has been established you should do your bit in helping us compile His new book so that the Truth is preserved.

    If you have forgotten your revelation then that's just sinful  no
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #233 - December 08, 2015, 12:46 AM

    It was like four lines, hardly fitting for the Wahhy Project. Grin

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #234 - December 08, 2015, 06:41 AM

    I know, was kidding Tongue
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #235 - December 08, 2015, 07:34 PM

    Hmph.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • The Wahhy Project
     Reply #236 - January 30, 2016, 01:14 PM

    Jibreel had this to say about Dawahman. I thought it was a little harsh, but JB assured me it was completely warranted. I also thought it sounded a little like Surat Ar-Rahman, but JB says that is purely coincidental.

    Surat Dawahman

    1. DawahMaan
    2. He shits in a can
    3. He does not have a plan
    4. His videos should be banned
    5.  He thinks there are miracles in the Qur’an
    7. And he sayeth “Bang Bang” and still thinks he’s so grand
    8. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    9. It is sad to think he’s his own biggest fan
    10. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    11. He doth  peddle his courses like a snake oil sales maaannn
    12. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    13. The kufi he wears is clearly secondhand
    14. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    15. He is as ignorant as an ostrich with his head in the sand
    16. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    17. The logic he doth use is tired and bland
    18. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    19. He degrades Richard Dawkins or at least thinks that he can
    20. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    23. He’s that sleazy grease ball that you really can’t stand
    24. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    25. He’s a certified boob with a mammary gland
    26. So what parts of science and reason can he not understand?
    27. Glory be to the SWT, The original Mac Daddy with the Master Plan

    This is hilarious.If you ponder on this verse you wilnoticece the miracle in this. Understand can be split into two words, under and stand, stand is pronouced with stretch so "understaaaaaand" Dawahman speaks like a gangster (terribly) so he is bound to pronounce the word as sand. In Arabia which contained mecca which dawahman considers the most holy place in the world, sand is the most abundant thing and is what is empathised the most in the verse and is repeated because there is so much sand. The word under is used as everyone who died in Arabia will be buried under sand and since everyone dies and will go to paradise for not using their reason and logic, this also adds to the empathisis of sand! All praise be to the one who sent this verse down and bless us with such miracles. Disclaimer, this is only an interpretation, not a fact. Anything right I said is from the SWT and anything wrong is Satan. Smiley









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