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Theme Changer

 Topic: Long and hard path of Disillusionment

 (Read 3678 times)
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  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     OP - August 23, 2015, 05:24 PM

    I wanted to say hello.

    I have been meaning to introduce myself and outline why I left Islam but I don't want to bore/depress you.Suffice to say it was a hard journey where I had to dismantle everything I was taught to believe in and analyse it the same I would any other information.  This all fell apart when I was discussing with a friend about the rape of female captives. I could not accept that any loving god and his representative would find such an act acceptable... This double standard was the straw that broke the camels back alongside a maltitdues of other scenarios where the Islamic prophet was benefiting at the expense of others.

    I have been trying to function in the last couple of months when I realised that Islam did not hold the same views as me. As someone who is still in the closet, the guilt is unbearable. I have never lived a double life and I value integrity above all things. I feel especially lonely as such an integral part of my life must be kept a secret, with no one to give me emotional support.
    I apologise for the rambling and disjointed  nature of this introduction, I hope to one day write eloquently about my de-conversion. Right now I am still in the process, as if I am justifying it to myself and there is too much ground to cover as Islam engulfs every aspect of your being. It has been refreshing to read articles and discussions from people who have truly thought about Islam and have come face to face with what it reveals, so thank you..   
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #1 - August 23, 2015, 05:44 PM

    Welcome to the forums.   parrot

    I know how you exactly feel, I'm in the same situation!
    Living a double life and hiding one of it can feel terrible. You are not alone.  far away hug

    Bad news is:
    You cannot make people like, love, understand, validate,
    accept, or be nice to you. You can't control them either.
    Good news is:
    It doesn't matter.
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #2 - August 23, 2015, 07:24 PM


    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #3 - August 23, 2015, 07:27 PM

    Welcome  Smiley
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #4 - August 24, 2015, 01:55 AM

    Guilt can really trip you up. Try to work through it, it makes everything else easier to process. Welcome, and know that you are not alone. It has been very difficult for many of us.  parrot

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #5 - August 24, 2015, 06:44 PM

    Thank you all for the warm welcome and kind words.

    Ri and three, it means a lot to know I am not alone.

    far away hug

  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #6 - August 24, 2015, 09:49 PM

    Welcome - I'm a never-muslim who came here out of curiosity and stayed for the excellent company - I'm sure you will like the bunch here  grin12
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #7 - August 25, 2015, 12:53 AM

    Welcome!  parrot

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #8 - August 25, 2015, 07:33 PM

    Hi SCM I think that will probably happen! I have read some of the most compelling, funny and poignant stuff on this site.

    Gal_from_usa Thanking you! 
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #9 - August 26, 2015, 12:53 AM

    Welcome to the forum Brave New World, have a rabbit!  bunny

    I really do like your username, and aside from being an impressive albeit bit of a bummer of a book, I think the username really does encapsulate the feeling of what it is like to lose one's faith, and see the world for what it really is. I hope you can find us helpful to lean on for some support as it can be a difficult process at first, but there really is no need to feel too lonely. Many, many of us here have experienced a lot of the feelings and thoughts that you're experiencing now, albeit we all bring our own unique perspectives. Feel free to contribute and rant about this experience on the forum. It's why its here. I look forward to seeing more from you.  Afro

    how fuck works without shit??

    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #10 - August 26, 2015, 03:46 PM

    Welcome to reality Afro
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #11 - August 26, 2015, 04:02 PM

  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #12 - August 29, 2015, 07:24 AM

    Hi asbie,

    Thank you for the warm welcome. I loved the book and I found the critique of society, although aimed at Western capitalism,  very relevant when looking at societies who wish to reinforce an 'Islamic' law. My experience with the more religious members of my community is their desire to control everyone. This is heightened when it comes to women. It can be stifling and leaves no room for individualism,  free thought, creativity, beauty, art, literature...
    On a grand scale the very fact that certain sects, arguably most Muslims societies, reinforce harsh punishments for apostasy is part of this oppression of freedom of thought.
    Infact another defining moment which led to my apostasy was when I tried to envisage a world where everyone was Muslim and Islamic 'law' or more accurately 'Islamic values' was established universally, I did not make me particularly excited. If anything it made me think of societies seen in 1984 and Brave New World: a place where everything you do is controlled..
    As imperfect as our world is, I value diversity. I think its because I am a Londoner (that I love London so! lol kidding), that drives this need to want to be with people who are not exactly like me, even if I dont agree with them.

    Hassan: thank you, once again. I forget to mention that your writings have had such a profound impact on me. I found your journey so poignant and a real testament to how humans are so complex: we are changing all the time, even to ourselves.. You were questioning the same things I was and knowing that there was someone out there who was struggling with some of the concepts of Islam made me feel less strange.
    My experience of reading your work Hassan and the discussions that I've read on this forum, reminded me of a quotation attributed to Frida Kahlo:
    “I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.”
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #13 - August 29, 2015, 10:09 PM

    Welcome  parrot
  • Long and hard path of Disillusionment
     Reply #14 - September 03, 2015, 07:47 PM

    Thanks Eitoro!
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