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Theme Changer

 Topic: divorce and children

 (Read 6311 times)
  • Previous page 1 23 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • divorce and children
     Reply #30 - May 20, 2015, 04:16 PM

    Looks like half assed muslim is the answer ☺ Just got to get my Mrs to accept half assed too Lol. Thanks guys
  • divorce and children
     Reply #31 - May 20, 2015, 07:55 PM

    Half-assed Muslims rule.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #32 - May 20, 2015, 08:32 PM

    As far as indoctrination goes, would it be possible to go the poetic metaphorical route? Like evolution for instance. Adam was created the same way as Jesus. Jesus came out of a womb. So Adam had a mother. Also the quran says all life comes from water. Adam and Eve weren't the first humans, they were the first muslims, or they were the first to have human souls, or something along those lines?

    How of you think it would go if you said to your wife the quran isn't a science book, it's a holy book, meant to give us an understanding of our place in the world, our relationship with allah, our reason for being?

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • divorce and children
     Reply #33 - May 20, 2015, 10:42 PM

    There is some info on this legal website (link below) on how to deal with flight risk. It seems you need to get a court order in place first in order to get the police to do a port alert and prevent the kids being taken out the country if you think she's doing a runner.
    http://www.asb-law.com/what-we-say-blog/articles/articles/2012/averting-a-potential-flight-risk-child-abduction#.VV0MqNOqqko
  • divorce and children
     Reply #34 - May 20, 2015, 11:53 PM

    That's a hard way to do it. In the US you just tell the passport office and they deny the children's passports. It's far more on the down low. Is that not an option there?

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #35 - May 21, 2015, 12:01 AM

    ^I'm aware of one time where that failed.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #36 - May 21, 2015, 01:20 AM

    CPIAP failed? With the children's real names?

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #37 - May 21, 2015, 01:29 AM

    Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not positive. I know the courts were aware of the flight risk and the fleeing spouse had no access to the original passports and left without the slightest upset at the airport, IIRC. So maybe not?
  • divorce and children
     Reply #38 - May 21, 2015, 02:06 AM

    The court would not have anything to do with it. You have to call the State Department so that passports cannot be issued in the children's names, or so existing passports are flagged. Otherwise you can just get replacements. However, there is nothing that the US can do about passports issued from other agencies.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #39 - May 21, 2015, 02:12 AM

    So if your kids have dual citizenship, then you're out of luck? Damn.

    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • divorce and children
     Reply #40 - May 21, 2015, 02:25 AM

    The court would not have anything to do with it. You have to call the State Department so that passports cannot be issued in the children's names, or so existing passports are flagged. Otherwise you can just get replacements. However, there is nothing that the US can do about passports issued from other agencies.


    I think that's what happened, if I'm remembering it right. The other country was involved. Either way, these stories have taught me not to rely on anything. It must be a scary way to live.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #41 - May 21, 2015, 04:55 AM

    In the UK you can go to your local courts and pay a small fee for some prohibition order to have your kids passports restricted, which means that they will automaticlly be blocked from travelling out at every port if both parents are not present. Hopefully that covers dual nationality passports too.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #42 - May 21, 2015, 09:27 AM

    She made sure we were married in Moroccan embassy a while back exclaiming that our marriage wasn't recognised in Morocco. I believe that she can claim dual nationality for the kids and acquire Moroccan passports if she wished. Our border controls are pretty poor especially going out so I am sure she could do a runner if she put her mind to it. Hopefully it won't come to that. She relies on me a great deal financially etc and as much as she moans about the UK she realises her standard of life is good. I think she will only take that route if we separate so as long as I can convince her I am still muslim we should be ok. Problem is I have started to hate Islam and listening to Quran makes my stomach turn. I don't know how long I can fake it without going crazy. I think we agreed that is the best way forward so I'm going to have to grin and bare it. The alternative of losing my kids is too much to unbearable to think about.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #43 - May 21, 2015, 09:32 AM

    Having a low tolerance for islam is a normal phase of apostasy. You need time to process, get shit out your system. Can you take a few hours a day or a week for yourself?

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • divorce and children
     Reply #44 - May 21, 2015, 09:38 AM

    Although if we are forced to separate a court order seems the first step to take. If she is made aware that it is a criminal offence and she will be illegally abducting the kids and may face prosecution that just may be enough to scare her. I will keep this course of acttion on a back burner for now. Thanks for the info everyone!
  • divorce and children
     Reply #45 - May 21, 2015, 09:43 AM

    I am trying to find time for myself but my wife is quite dominating and wants to know my every move. If she wasnt so controlling the situation would be much easir.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #46 - May 21, 2015, 09:53 AM

    Having a low tolerance for islam is a normal phase of apostasy. You need time to process, get shit out your system. Can you take a few hours a day or a week for yourself?

     

    I think if someone feels trapped like the OP, they need some kind of release, mine was a sneeky trip away from my ex to my mums home for christmas celebration, easter,  summer holidays etc where i would literally let my hair down and go clubbing or partying, then emerge back into islamland all pious again he he..   Maybe Lightbringer could find that little break away from islam to have some fun times with his eldest son.. Ofcourse without the wife knowing.. If you can manage to conceal it..
  • divorce and children
     Reply #47 - May 21, 2015, 09:54 AM

    .. But ofcourse with the children being so young it can be risky
  • divorce and children
     Reply #48 - May 21, 2015, 09:55 AM

    Yeah, you need that release, hence me asking the OP if he could get a few hours to himself.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • divorce and children
     Reply #49 - May 21, 2015, 10:16 AM

    Oh how I wish !! Took eldest son snowboarding in January for 4 days and spent 6 months arguing about it.  she found out I had a drink at a family wedding  last year and hasn't trusted me at all since then. She doesn't like me to see my kafir family as she puts it as I will do Haram.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #50 - May 21, 2015, 10:24 AM

    It's not her fault really she believes so much that she lets islam completely control our lives. To be fair when I married her I was the same as her and it is me who has changed. Problem is I can listen to criticism of Islam as have 2 cultures she can not entertain her beloved prophet being doubted. She has made it clear if she has to choose between me and mo I gonna lose. No surprise there as that's what islam told her 1st allah then mo everyone else comes after.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #51 - May 21, 2015, 10:57 AM

    In all honesty, you should be a bit more careful and not take risks like drinking alcohol if there is a chance she will find out. Advice, you should do some major dammage control and step back big time with the criticism and obvious lack of faith. Perhaps just keep to the bare minimum of what is required of you as a Muslim male and it'll be easier for you than to completely try to do everything or revolt criticizing Islam.

    Why was she opposed to snowboarding? Huh?

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • divorce and children
     Reply #52 - May 21, 2015, 11:11 AM

    ^ yes, definately be very careful...  don't do the parties and alcohol..

    The OP's partner is totally different, best to tread very carefully and enjoy only what is deemed to be "halal" ventures..

    (sorry i keep yapping away today)

    x
  • divorce and children
     Reply #53 - May 21, 2015, 11:13 AM

    Not only is it completely unacceptable to speak that way about your family, you could argue that it's unislamic.

    Quote
    You should not forsake your family; rather you should treat them kindly and strive to call them to follow and accept the Sunnah.

    Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Invite (mankind, O Muhammad) to the way of your Lord (i.e. Islam) with wisdom (i.e. with the Divine Revelation and the Quran) and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided.” [16:125]

    “And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years; give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.

    But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not; but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.” [31:14-15]


    http://islamqa.info/en/9067

    Rasool Allah had a very close relationship with his uncle Abu Talib who had looked after him as a child without the uncle being a muslim. There are other examples you can use.

    Though it sounds to me she's insecure about any relationship you have that aren't just about her and the children you've had together, coupled with worry about you doing normal things is entwined with it. There seems to be a serious lack of trust as well as control and jealousy. I can't really see any other reason for arguing six months with you for having quality time with your son, or the attitude you said she displays when he come to visit, especially as he's her own children's biological brother. Unless she really is that repulsed at people who aren't muslim? Despite struggling to relate, I'm assuming she did try at some point?

    but now she is more hostile towards him seeing us as non muslims united against her


    That seems to be a story in itself. Mind if I ask why you converted in the first place?

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • divorce and children
     Reply #54 - May 21, 2015, 11:59 AM

    So if your kids have dual citizenship, then you're out of luck? Damn.


    Yeah, many foreign countries have a liberal issuance policy, too. Meaning you can register your child as a citizen long after their birth.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #55 - May 21, 2015, 12:00 PM

    I think that's what happened, if I'm remembering it right. The other country was involved. Either way, these stories have taught me not to rely on anything. It must be a scary way to live.


    It is.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #56 - May 21, 2015, 12:01 PM

    I am trying to find time for myself but my wife is quite dominating and wants to know my every move. If she wasnt so controlling the situation would be much easir.


    I am really sorry. I know what that is like.

    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • divorce and children
     Reply #57 - May 21, 2015, 01:55 PM

    It is.


    hugs

    It's not her fault really she believes so much that she lets islam completely control our lives. To be fair when I married her I was the same as her and it is me who has changed. Problem is I can listen to criticism of Islam as have 2 cultures she can not entertain her beloved prophet being doubted. She has made it clear if she has to choose between me and mo I gonna lose. No surprise there as that's what islam told her 1st allah then mo everyone else comes after.


    Ahh, I remember that. In Saudi culture, it's not uncommon at all for the mother (and maybe the father) to be loved and put way ahead of your wife. Like if you and your mother-in-law were dangling off the edge of a cliff each holding on to one of the husband's hands in a The Good Son situation, you better believe you, the wife, are getting dropped. Grin And I knew that even before meeting my Saudi husband and I wasn't surprised when he delicately tried explaining this to me and he was relieved that it had been forgiven in advance.

    What I didn't realize, though, was that Mohammed was above all of us, and one time when I was trying to get him to cool it with the hadith stuff he turned on me and was like, "Then you're calling the Prophet a liar. And we Muslims love him more than anything in the world. More than our wives, more than our children, even more than our mothers. Do you know how big love that is to love more than our mother?" And I thought that was spectacularly sad--Jesus, more than your own kids, this old man in the desert?--but I wondered if it was really true, or if it's just something you're supposed to believe.

    I can say that when he finally became an apostate, he dropped Mohammed like he was a bunch of live coals. I'd like to think that, if he lost me, he'd at least have a week of eating ice cream from a tub and playing sad breakup songs, or if he'd lost his mother or his children he'd be devastated for much longer. At least in his case, I think when he said "Mohammed," it was all of his religious beliefs and faith and identity wrapped up in the Mohammed packaging. That way, it's much more understandable. I probably would have felt much less annoyed at the time had I realized that sooner. It wasn't that he actually loved some dude he never met more than his family. It was that he loved his faith and loved his identity.

    Anyway  far away hug
  • divorce and children
     Reply #58 - May 21, 2015, 03:17 PM

    Like if you and your mother-in-law were dangling off the edge of a cliff each holding on to one of the husband's hands in a The Good Son situation, you better believe you, the wife, are getting dropped.


    You need to tell the husband to get ripped.  cool2

    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • divorce and children
     Reply #59 - May 21, 2015, 03:22 PM

    He's still a walking skeleton, scarcely ten pounds heavier than me and a head taller.  Undecided His mother and I would both be doomed, and we'd probably take his arms with us.
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