Lua, How is it being a force in the right direction when you lack consistency? When you say I'm an ex muslim, create a website, go to meetings, demo's, argue with Muslims in debates, makes videos, become a self proclaimed spokesman...then come out as an agnostic muslim, who prays, who admires the 'wisdom and beauty' of the Koran? All it does is confuse the issue, and invite criticism. Or are we being asked to accept hypocrisy as part of our everyday 'culture' - like Labour/Tory - what's the difference, as long as we can come up with some snappy 'excuse' that appears to justify, but in fact says absolutely nothing other than - 'I am very confused, don't listen to me, yes listen to me, no don't, yes do.....''
Because the websites and the debates and the videos still exist. I've said before that one of the many things I used to prod the husband into some deeper thinking was one of Hassan's videos. If Hassan went in the completely opposite direction today, became an avid follower of Islam, renounced everything he's ever said against it or in his videos, and I told that to my husband, the news would be greeted by a flat, "Huh. That's weird." And our life would move on. It wouldn't shake his beliefs to the core, it wouldn't make him drop his wine glass and run for the prayer mat.
I think something that you're overlooking is that there isn't going to be just one person, just one influence, just one thing contributing to doubt and apostasy. The people who leave Islam tend to have a laundry list of reasons why it's not working out for them, and, for most of us, we really aren't so weak and confused as we'd need to be for someone self-labeling as an agnostic Muslim--even if they are prominent in the ex-Muslim community--to make us even second guess our convictions.
On this website, there are people--myself included--who are absolutely and firmly atheists and have no desire for a kinder way of putting it. There's a whole spectrum of beliefs and identities of ex-Muslims, and that's the way it should be. I'm really not interested in demanding that every person who leaves the religion needs to wash their hands of it entirely and publicly, I'm not interested in discussions over whether people are being intellectually dishonest by choosing to occupy these transition states, a debate which brings down many people who I find absolutely critical to the reformation of Islam, which you see in the cases of people like Maajid Nawaz. It's self-defeating, it's unrealistic, and it's unfair.
Like I said before: it's not ideal. But let's face it. Nothing about this is ideal. The world isn't ideal, so the ideal answer often doesn't fit. We're talking about a gigantic group of people with many different communities and this very imperfect, very emotional, very human problem. We're not talking about concentration camps. We're not talking about massacres. This is something where we can and do benefit from a lighter touch, and coming out, guns blazing, has a huge potential to easily backfire and make matters worse.
If there are personal reasons why Hassan adopting this label bothers you, that's fine, but let's not try to make your objections sound more noble than they are. No, he's not ruining the movement, or even hurting it, and nothing he's ever done to help any of us has been invalidated. So don't you worry about that.
I'm only going to say this once and then never again: I do think that, if there is a family element to this, this is really not the place to be discussing it. If you have a problem with what Hassan is doing because he's Hassan, you should contact him privately if he still values your input enough to keep that line of communication open. A public internet forum isn't the kindest way to go about it, and you can't expect that to go well, and I hope you reconsider if this is the case.