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- anaees
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OP - March 15, 2015, 05:45 PM

Hello,

I recently discovered this forum. I thought that I was alone thinking this way. I have been raised by my mother who converted to islam when I was a kid. I have always been very religious until last year I started to question islam and actually seeing that it is not for me. I believe in equality and peace.

I am 22 years old living in uk. I have not told my family yet as I know my mother will do anything she can to stop me seeing my little sisters.

I am still wear the scarf. I prefer to wait until I graduate and move out to tell my family and live my life how I want. I know it will be hard as they are my only family but deep down I know that I must tell them.
- Cheetah
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Reply #1 - March 15, 2015, 05:56 PM

Welcome anaees.

I think you're wise to wait until you're independent and moved out of home to broach the subject with your family. Also, it would be good to wait until your younger siblings are a bit older and better able to understand. I'd advise you not to dwell on telling your family at the moment - you can cross that bridge when you come to it.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
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Reply #2 - March 15, 2015, 05:59 PM

Welcome anaees

Cheetah's advice is spot on.

hope you enjoy your stay here
- anaees
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Reply #3 - March 15, 2015, 06:08 PM

Thanks guys for the nice comments.

The thing is I don't think I will be able to live a normal life until I tell them. I wear the scarf and if my mother sees me without it, I am 100% sure she will cut contact with me. If I take it off I can't hide forever.

I want to stop wearing it as I don't belong to this religion anymore. I want to be able to think clearly.
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Reply #4 - March 15, 2015, 06:17 PM

It can be hard keeping a secret. That's one of the reasons this forum exists, so we're here to let off steam to when keeping quiet in real life gets too much.

"Befriend them not, Oh murtads, and give them neither parrot nor bunny." - happymurtad's advice on trolls.
- three
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Reply #5 - March 15, 2015, 06:40 PM

Welcome!

Don't let Hitler have the street.
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Reply #6 - March 15, 2015, 06:41 PM

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #7 - March 15, 2015, 07:53 PM

Hi Anaees,

welcome to the forum
- lua
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Reply #8 - March 15, 2015, 07:53 PM

Welcome!
- suki
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Reply #9 - March 15, 2015, 08:11 PM

Welcome Anaees... have you ever asked her opinion on taking it off ? you could always mention it, she may surprise you and be accepting, especially with being a convert. My niece has stopped wearing her hijab recently and her father is the strictest muslim i have ever laid eyes on but he knows he has no choice or face losing her forever.. i think cheetah is right though, if you are leaving home soon it's best not to rock the boat just yet..

X
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Reply #10 - March 15, 2015, 09:34 PM

Welcome - have a bunny
- anaees
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Reply #11 - March 16, 2015, 10:53 AM

Thanks Guys ,

@Suki, she won't accept it. I cannot even think of starting this discussion with her.

To be honest, I do not want to live a secret life. I believe that everyone should be able to make their own choices and live their life how they wish.
- suki
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Reply #12 - March 16, 2015, 12:35 PM

I can understand, i was a convert too and i remember the times early on when i used to force a big hijab on my girls and unnactractive trousers under their pretty dresses, i felt pressure from the community to comply, until i snapped out of it. Still it gets me irrate when i hear converts get on their high horse, and they do quite a lot, when they were once beer swilling, smoking, dating, clubbing etc..

I wish you all the best with what ever decision you make

x
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Reply #13 - March 24, 2015, 04:04 AM

Hello nice to meet you anaees
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Reply #14 - March 24, 2015, 06:08 AM

Welcome to the forum anaees, have a rabbit!

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 09:05 AM
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Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Reply #15 - March 24, 2015, 06:12 AM

Quote from: anaees on March 16, 2015, 10:53 AM
Thanks Guys ,

@Suki, she won't accept it. I cannot even think of starting this discussion with her.

To be honest, I do not want to live a secret life. I believe that everyone should be able to make their own choices and live their life how they wish.

Fortunately you live in the UK, where most people agree with you.

`But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
`Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
`You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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Reply #16 - March 24, 2015, 08:29 AM

Welcome to the forum
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Reply #17 - March 24, 2015, 09:40 AM

Welcome!

I agree with all the prudent advices - lay low for now, until you have independence and can support yourself etc, better stay safe first. But I hope you can at least find some solace in the online world, so that you won't be completely lonely. Best wishes!
- anaees
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Reply #18 - March 24, 2015, 04:00 PM

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and wishes!
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