Asexuality and Gender Apathy

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- gal_from_usa
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Asexuality and Gender Apathy
OP - November 15, 2014, 02:20 PM

I always had trouble fitting in as an asexual Muslim. Islam is so concerned about your sex life, and I constantly had people asking me if I was satisfied with my (now ex) husband's performance (he's gay; we got married with the understanding that nothing was going to happen between us). Weirdly, when I started talking about sexuality openly, people accused me of being obsessed with sex. Which makes no sense to me; how can "I am sex averse/anti-sexual" = "I'm crazy about sex"? And why does inquiring into another person's sex life not equal being obsessed with sex?

I've also been dealing with gender apathy. When presenting to the world, I'm fine with appearing female; but I'm equally fine with appearing male, if it's online with people who don't know me. I don't care one way or the other. I put the reasons why here (it's pretty long): http://pathtokolinahr.blogspot.com/2014/11/religion-and-gender-identity.html

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
- musivore
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Asexuality and Gender Apathy
Reply #1 - November 15, 2014, 06:00 PM

I can't profess to knowing anything about asexuality and gender apathy, but I really enjoyed your blog. It's well written, you explain things really well, and overall it comes across as being bright and hopeful in your road going forwards.

I am sorry that the men you have trusted with yourself in the past have turned out to be such dicks. Can I ask though, why did you marriage of convenience break down?

Hi
- gal_from_usa
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Asexuality and Gender Apathy
Reply #2 - November 15, 2014, 07:05 PM

As probably shouldn't have come as a shock to me, he decided he wanted to be with a dude. And he turned into a huge jerk after we got married. Before he married me he was a cool guy, but idk what changed, when we moved in together, he got really cranky all the time and that led to a lot of awkwardness when he would refuse to talk to me or would get really angry at me. So he posted on facebook a few months ago that he wanted to move out, and I said, "Fine, if that's how you feel, go ahead". Which in his mind is apparently the same as me kicking him out? Anyway, he moved out. But I've actually never been happier, he was making me miserable.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
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