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Theme Changer

 Topic: The Day I First Tasted Bacon

 (Read 41624 times)
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  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #30 - December 15, 2014, 10:32 PM
    you are all making me hungry... and i am a vegetarian!

    ah well, i am a good infidel XD
    Dogs never bite me - just humans. ~ M. Monroe

    Religions seem to cause more grief than good.

    Exmuslim Chat
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #31 - December 15, 2014, 11:18 PM
    Quote from: @CEMB_Forum on October 31, 2014, 02:28 PM
    I was told that the protocol for eating bacon sandwiches was to squirt ketchup or brown sauce and then munch.

    Infidel!



    It’s brown sauce with bacon, and red sauce with sausage sandwiches! Tongue

    Quote from: @CEMB_Forum on October 31, 2014, 02:28 PM
    There is a Jewish joke about a rabbi who dreamed of tasting pork. Eventually he sneaked into a restaurant and ordered a whole roast piglet that even came with an apple in its mouth. As he was about to tuck in one of the worshippers from his synagogue walked into the bistro and the rabbi said ‘Will you look at these anti-semites, you ask for an apple and they serve it like this!”

    Not heard that one before. It's actually pretty damn hilarious! Grin
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #32 - December 15, 2014, 11:48 PM
    The biggest regret in my life is the fact that I never tried bacon after I became a full-on Kafir and before I became a vegetarian.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #33 - December 16, 2014, 03:44 AM
    You've had a fantastic life, then. Grin
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #34 - December 16, 2014, 08:33 AM
    There is a really nice Egyptian pizza delivery guy who delivers when I am at work.  At first I was scared when he first delivered bc I ordered the spicy italian which is full of all sorts of porky goodness but he turned out to be a big egyptian teddy bear  dance and now I get extra jalapenos on my pizza and if I order a small and he is working he always delivers a large no extra charge, we laugh and he gets a great tip.  piggy nom nom
    Oh my Christopher Hitchens its a fihrrrrrrrrrrrr
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #35 - December 16, 2014, 08:46 AM
    Quote from: ladybird on December 15, 2014, 10:32 PM
    you are all making me hungry... and i am a vegetarian!

    ah well, i am a good infidel XD

     I love it when people admit it Hoorah Afro
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #36 - March 28, 2015, 06:42 AM
    Qasira's essay is a gem!

    As a person who's been eating pig meat all her life, it's delightful to read ex-Muslims' accounts of trying it for the first time.

    When I was a kid, one of my favourite lunches was a strip bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich with toasted bread and plenty of mayonnaise. 

    That was in the USA.  Now that I'm living in Australia, if I would order a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich with mayo, I'd get a sandwich with back bacon in it, what in the US we call "Canadian bacon".

    It's just not the same.

    I've never seen strip bacon served in any café or restaurant here.  It might be at the supermarket, but now that I'm older, I stay away from strip bacon because its so fatty.  But I *love* it.

    So some of you might want to try a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich on toast (commonly known as a "BLT") as part of your exploration of the brave new pork world.  Don't forget the mayo!  piggy dance piggy

  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #37 - June 23, 2015, 10:14 PM
    This is hilarious. And also relatable. The first time I tried bacon was after a night out with friends and one of my flatmates grilled some. I felt so devious (maybe enhanced by my state of inebriation) but she burned it so I didn't really get the real taste. A few days later I got a bacon sandwich and coffee for £2 from Greggs with ketchup, which I enjoyed... I then started trying all the porks- sausages, ham, chorizo etc and my favourite was ham. However I dont know if it was the muslim background, or pure coincidence, but I couldnt see what the fuss was about- I much preferred the taste of chicken to pork.
    Anyway I'm a vegetarian now, so none of that even matters any more  grin12
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #38 - June 24, 2015, 07:32 AM
    Pork is overrated, meat in general is. But I agree, chicken wins every time.
    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #39 - June 25, 2015, 02:20 AM
    I was going to say that I haven't eaten pork yet, then I remembered that I'd bought some egg rolls on the cheap and when I got them home, I noticed the box said "shrimp and pork". But I don't think it was actually pork in them, probably a cheap substitute like pink slime.  Cheesy
    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for I have a sonic screwdriver, a tricorder, and a Type 2 phaser.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #40 - June 25, 2015, 10:07 AM
    Pork can be the best of meats or the worst, but never as bad as bad battery chicken.

    (I realise this sentence has as many holes in it as a Hamza embryology claim, but you get my drift.)
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #41 - June 25, 2015, 05:34 PM
    Well, this post made me amazingly hungry. It takes me back to the time I ordered biscuits with sausage gravy and got pork-blocked by the Muslim cook in the back who sent the waitress to take my order again because he thought he was being "helpful" by letting me know it was pork sausage.

    That's the whole point. lipsrsealed Had fried chicken that day, but I'm still lusting after those biscuits and gravy.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #42 - June 25, 2015, 06:02 PM
    ^ that happened to me once also, I drove for miles to a quaint country village, an all white area so I could eat my bacon in peace at a small café, I was guaranteed to be served by a white person but who walks in with my plate, a muslim man with a long beard lol..he wouldn't serve me, asshole lol
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #43 - June 25, 2015, 06:36 PM
    @umhuraira, suki

    Dear god, that's fucked up. Like couldn't you request a different server or something?  mysmilie_977
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #44 - June 25, 2015, 08:11 PM
    Quote from: asbie on June 25, 2015, 06:36 PM
    @umhuraira, suki

    Dear god, that's fucked up. Like couldn't you request a different server or something?  mysmilie_977


    I was sitting with my Muslim husband so it was imperative that I save face.

     Grin
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #45 - June 25, 2015, 08:19 PM
    Oh wow, so actually you were being a bit devious that day. Should've mentioned that part of the story for full effect. Grin
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #46 - June 25, 2015, 08:44 PM
    Hahah, if I'm being honest I probably would have gotten away with my order had I not been wearing hijab. How's that for full effect?
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #47 - June 26, 2015, 12:52 AM
    Grin Wonderful!
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #48 - June 26, 2015, 01:46 AM
    The first time i tried pork was in Poland, we broke into the roof of a high rise flat and ate pork/other meat whilst drinking vodka.   grin12 grin12
    "those who will, and then those who actually will"
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #49 - June 26, 2015, 02:35 AM
    Hey, lolzorlord. Welcome to the forum. You should make an introductory thread.  yes
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #50 - June 30, 2015, 07:38 AM
    There are different types and qualities of bacon, and how you cook it also matters.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #51 - June 30, 2015, 07:42 AM
    Bacon, alcohol, pot. So much out there for ex-Muslims. I think it would be cool to try all at once!
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #52 - June 30, 2015, 07:43 AM
    Oh and puppies too.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #53 - June 30, 2015, 07:44 AM
    Only the good alcohol mind. None of the shit. *sips good quality red wine*
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #54 - June 30, 2015, 07:50 AM
    I am pretty clueless about what to try. I'm depending on my alcoholic friend to tell me what to start out with.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #55 - June 30, 2015, 07:55 AM
    If someone suggests Fosters, Strongbow, Coors or any of that shit, you should immediately know not to trust them. Do not accept their drinks!
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #56 - June 30, 2015, 07:59 AM
    Haha, I'll be sure to keep that in mind. What would you recommend?
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #57 - June 30, 2015, 08:05 AM
    Depends what you like.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #58 - June 30, 2015, 08:13 AM
    I don't know what I like! I've never drunk alcohol in my life. I'm not sure I'm ready to take that step yet but one of my longtime friends who I recently discovered is also ex-Muslim is in town and is bugging me to get drunk. He's been drinking and doing all sorts of haram things for years but I'm still worried. If y'all don't hear from me in a week it's probably I passed out from too much alcohol and died. 
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #59 - June 30, 2015, 08:19 AM
    I didn't ask what alcohol you like, I asked what you usually like.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
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