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 Topic: The Day I First Tasted Bacon

 (Read 22384 times)
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  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     OP - October 31, 2014, 02:28 PM



    The Day I First Tasted Bacon

    by Qasira

    I didn’t have a single moment that made me leave Islam. But to put it in broad terms, its tyrannical attitudes, intolerance, hypocrisy and prejudice towards non believers pushed me away.

    But even when you leave a religion, some of the taboos stay with you.

    I actually had some dreams about eating pork after I left Islam. At first they made me feel sick. But eventually I had a transgressive urge to try it. For many Muslims, the thought of eating pork is almost akin to cannibalism.  The dietary codes make it so. Even as a Muslim I’d eaten non halal chicken and beef, but pork was always the evil that dare not oink its name. Racists knew that, and from time to time stories of pork being thrown at mosques would fill me with disgust and guilt. Would I become a racist for eating pork? Would I become a debased non believer, whose dirtiness is equated by some Muslim bigots with eating the pig?

    So I told my boyfriend, who was a porcine chomping infidel.

    “I want to taste pork. What does it taste like? I heard it tastes like human flesh”

    “If human flesh tastes like pork then human flesh tastes nice. I’ll be honest with you though, it depends on what kind of pork it is. Bacon is the best. Pepperami and chorizo too. Other than that it can be a bit, you know, bland.”

    “Feed me bacon. I want to try some.”

    A few days after my demand, we decided to go to a cafe in a park that he recommended as a place that made nice bacon sandwiches. We drove through mazy roads leading into the park and I felt a little sick, guilty and frightened, as well as excited, amazed and giddy. Similar to how I felt the first time I tasted alcohol, but even more profound in every sense of transgression, guilt, and disgust taboo.

    Tasting alcohol brought guilt, but not a disgust taboo. Maybe because it was flesh I was about to consume, and that had some different kind of resonance on a primal level.

    There is a Jewish joke about a rabbi who dreamed of tasting pork. Eventually he sneaked into a restaurant and ordered a whole roast piglet that even came with an apple in its mouth. As he was about to tuck in one of the worshippers from his synagogue walked into the bistro and the rabbi said ‘Will you look at these anti-semites, you ask for an apple and they serve it like this!”

    We sat down. My boyfriend ordered two bacon sandwiches and two pots of tea. For him tea went well with bacon sandwiches.

    Around us sat lots of pork eating infidels who had no idea of the profundity of what was about to happen, acting as if nothing taboo shattering was about to occur.

    I made small talk. I tried to sniff the air to see if the smell of bacon was discernible. I heard sizzling. I sipped some tea. And soon the bacon sandwiches were placed on the table in front of us. My shoulders twitched. I asked, ‘How do we eat it?”

    I was told that the protocol for eating bacon sandwiches was to squirt ketchup or brown sauce and then munch. Seconds of contemplation passed. My partner said I didn’t have to go through with it if I didn’t want to. I told him that I suspected he said that because he was greedy and wanted to eat my share.

    I opened up the sandwich and there lay rashers of bacon. They didn’t look evil or racist. But here was the filth of disbelief and the flesh of the dirty pig. It looked quite innocent of all these charges.

    It felt demonised, just like how some Muslims demonise things that aren’t Islamic. I became indignant at this intolerance, and with a knife and fork removed one rasher, sliced it up and ate bacon for the first time.

    If Allah exists, and if we are made to be carnivorous, why would this God deny us this taste?

    Bacon was delicious.

    Imagine discovering a taste that you had never known before. Bacon tasted like nothing else. It was like discovering a new colour or sound. It was smoky, salty, and the texture was chewy and giving at the same time.

    So many nice things are forbidden to us by a trivial God. In the grand scheme of things of what he forbids – what we may think, who we may love, how we should live – bacon being forbidden is relatively trivial. But sometimes the trivial is itself of importance.

    And so I became even further what is hated by many – not just an apostate, but a pork eating apostate.

    I demanded we order pepperami pizza a few days later. It was very nice. I tasted chorizo and cooked it in an omelette. It was also nice.

    My boyfriend said that the pork sausage patties in McDonalds breakfast McMuffins were delicious. I demanded he take me to try one at the weekend, but he wanted a lie in, and they were only served until 11am.

    So another day I went to the drive through alone and ordered a McMuffin. I rolled to the service window and a Muslim lady called  Sajda held this transgression in her hand.

    I stiffened in atavistic fear. I became the rabbi in the bistro caught in the act of ordering an apple roasted piglet. I felt shame, guilt, and horror, but Sajda just smiled at me.

    She probably thinks I’m Sikh or Hindu, I thought to myself.

    Or maybe she doesn’t care. Maybe she’s eaten a sausage McMuffin herself on the sly. Maybe she’s an apostate too. Maybe that is why she’s smiled at me.

    I smiled back and thanked Sajda, drove to the side and parked the car, unwrapped the McMuffin and bit in. Fried hash brown, egg, muffin and pork sausage. It was even better than bacon.

    I wolfed it down like a hungry, starved criminal. When I finished it I didn’t feel like a criminal any longer. It tasted like I was free.



  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #1 - October 31, 2014, 02:39 PM

     Afro Allah perfected the taste of bacon, then prohibited it just for laughs.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #2 - October 31, 2014, 03:02 PM

    @HM the food expert.


    So when the article said " Bacon Sandwich" does it means a sandwich with just bacon strips in it ?   


    I though bacon strips were only meant as an extra thing to put on the main patty like beef burger with bacon and lettuce on it.


    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #3 - October 31, 2014, 03:06 PM

    @HM the food expert.


    So when the article said " Bacon Sandwich" does it means a sandwich with just bacon strips in it ?   


    I though bacon strips were only meant as an extra thing to put on the main patty like beef burger with bacon and lettuce on it.




    Know you were asking HM, but yes it is that with sometimes chutneys and/or ketchup put in there too. Some put butter on bread, I don't!

    Love sausages with mango chutney too! God that is gorgeous!
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #4 - October 31, 2014, 03:10 PM

    ^

    aah thanks   Afro

    I need to try more pig food.

    So far I've tried pepperoni pizza, pork sausage, and pulled pork burger and bacon from mcdonalds ( not sure that counts).
     

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #5 - October 31, 2014, 03:12 PM

    ^

    aah thanks   Afro

    I need to try more pig food.

    So far I've tried pepperoni pizza, pork sausage, and pulled pork burger and bacon from mcdonalds ( not sure that counts).
     


    Hehe! Good on ya!

    Haven't had mango chutney with anything more than British sausages so try that tentatively!
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #6 - October 31, 2014, 04:33 PM

    I want a würstel Yummy
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #7 - October 31, 2014, 04:39 PM

    "...you left Islam just so you could eat khanzeer"

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #8 - October 31, 2014, 04:53 PM

    I want a würstel Yummy



    Nahhh! Cumberland.

  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #9 - October 31, 2014, 05:21 PM

    "...you left Islam just so you could eat khanzeer"

    yes  Cheesy

    Lily, mine is more  delicious  Tongue
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #10 - October 31, 2014, 05:22 PM

    yes  Cheesy

    Lily, mine is more  delicious  Tongue


    Nevahhhhhh!

    Hehe, on a related note I am having sausages for dinner! Nommy! Sausage, beans and mash!

  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #11 - October 31, 2014, 05:32 PM

    Hahaha. To think I wanted to be vegetarian. Damn it Lilly!

    Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. - Terry Pratchett
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #12 - October 31, 2014, 05:42 PM

    Hahaha. To think I wanted to be vegetarian. Damn it Lilly!


    It fine! Quorn sausages are nice too. I don't have meat every day, limiting meat makes it nicer when you have it and is better for you and if local produce and not quinoa is better for the environment and people.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #13 - October 31, 2014, 06:00 PM

    I don't know if he is just fucking with me or not, but the husband swears that in Saudi Arabia, they say that if you eat pork, you will stop being jealous with your spouse, and next thing you know everyone will be having sex with everyone else, just like in America. I need to believe that he's just pulling my leg.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #14 - October 31, 2014, 06:03 PM

    I don't know if he is just fucking with me or not, but the husband swears that in Saudi Arabia, they say that if you eat pork, you will stop being jealous with your spouse, and next thing you know everyone will be having sex with everyone else, just like in America. I need to believe that he's just pulling my leg.


    Don't think he is pulling your leg so much as saying the truth, doesn't mean he believes it either. Either way, a less possessive attitude sounds way more healthy to me. Bring on the swine!
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #15 - October 31, 2014, 06:08 PM

    Oh, he definitely does not believe it, thank god. But I still hate thinking people widely believe something so stupid.  wacko
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #16 - October 31, 2014, 06:10 PM

    Oh, he definitely does not believe it, thank god. But I still hate thinking people widely believe something so stupid.  wacko


    Yup. Now psychoactive substances may very well make you more promiscuous plus stuff which makes you produce more testosterone in both men and women. Testosterone is the alluring and sex hormone which makes you horny!
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #17 - October 31, 2014, 06:28 PM

    I don't know if he is just fucking with me or not, but the husband swears that in Saudi Arabia, they say that if you eat pork, you will stop being jealous with your spouse, and next thing you know everyone will be having sex with everyone else, just like in America. I need to believe that he's just pulling my leg.


    I've heard that plenty of times. People actually believe it.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #18 - October 31, 2014, 06:34 PM

    Zakir Naik teaches his fans exactly that:

    Quote
    The pig is the most shameless animal on the face of the earth. It is the only animal that invites its friends to have sex with its mate. It feels no jealousy. And among people who consume pork, the practice of wife swapping and other forms of promiscuous behaviour is common.


    http://islamicvoice.com/february.99/zakir.htm

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #19 - October 31, 2014, 06:35 PM

    Gheerah seems to be the most important issue in all Muslim societies. Everything revilves around that. No man wants to be a duyyooth. In all honesty, I'd rather be with a duyyooth any day Cheesy

    And yes, bacon is nectar from the gods. But that's about the only thing I like about the pig.

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #20 - October 31, 2014, 06:37 PM

    I seem to remember someone arguing that pigs are shameful and swap wives...maybe it was Zakir Naik. The stupidity knows no bounds.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #21 - October 31, 2014, 06:40 PM

    I seem to remember someone arguing that pigs are shameful and swap wives...maybe it was Zakir Naik. The stupidity knows no bounds.


    NEWS JUST IN: Different species have different sexual behaviours either for reproduction or for leisure!
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #22 - October 31, 2014, 06:53 PM

    Using words like promiscuous and wives when talking about animals...what can you say about that? Those imbeciles have hundreds of thousands or even millions they reach with such stupidity.
     
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #23 - October 31, 2014, 07:00 PM

    Fine, guys. Fine. Kill my naive optimism. I didn't need it.  Cry
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #24 - November 01, 2014, 08:12 AM


    The Day I First Tasted Bacon

    by Qasira
    <snippity>

    Even as a Muslim I’d eaten non halal chicken and beef, but pork was always the evil that dare not oink its name.

     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy


    Quote
    I opened up the sandwich and there lay rashers of bacon. They didn’t look evil or racist. But here was the filth of disbelief and the flesh of the dirty pig. It looked quite innocent of all these charges.

    It felt demonised, just like how some Muslims demonise things that aren’t Islamic. I became indignant at this intolerance, and with a knife and fork removed one rasher, sliced it up and ate bacon for the first time.

    If Allah exists, and if we are made to be carnivorous, why would this God deny us this taste?

    Bacon was delicious.

    Imagine discovering a taste that you had never known before. Bacon tasted like nothing else. It was like discovering a new colour or sound. It was smoky, salty, and the texture was chewy and giving at the same time.

     grin12 Bacons gets you murtadeen every time. I remember when Berbs first lost her heart to a bacon sandwich.

    Yes, bacon is awesome. bunny

    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #25 - November 01, 2014, 12:46 PM

    First time trying pig meat was when I was drinking at a party. Some Bailley's and white wine and then devouring ham pizzas. Not to mention having swathes of BBQ'ed bacon the next morning. Tastes lovely.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #26 - November 01, 2014, 01:28 PM

    This post hits hard. I remember being hesitant to try pork products for months and months after my apostasy. Finally, I ordered bacon at a restaurant and it was wonderful. For a year or two after leaving Islam, even after I'd tried pork, I often found myself reluctant to order meals with pork simply out of unfamiliarity.

    I am happy to say that has long since passed, and today I am a proud consumer of bacon and sausage and pork roast and tenderloin and pulled pork and pepperoni and ham sandwiches and all other manner of  piggy delight.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #27 - December 15, 2014, 07:42 PM

    I seem to remember someone arguing that pigs are shameful and swap wives...maybe it was Zakir Naik. The stupidity knows no bounds.


    But sheep are OK yes? Sheep, where one ram can service several flocks and another one used the following year? This isn't promiscuous in any way?
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #28 - December 15, 2014, 07:47 PM

    We have a haunch of Venison awaiting us when we get home from visiting family for a couple of weeks. Venison never seems to be mentioned here. Would it be permitted for Muslims? I suppose the way it has to be killed would be an issue, difficult to get close enough to cut it's throat.
  • The Day I First Tasted Bacon
     Reply #29 - December 15, 2014, 10:08 PM

    Nigel Slater Fast Food has a recipe that is truly from the gods - bacon sani with banana, lettuce tomatoes and mango chutney!

    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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