Hello, I have a question regarding the conditions of having multiple wives. I am not sure where precisely this should be posted, but let me first clarify why I ask this question. Recently, someone who is close to me revealed to me that he actually had a second wife and conceived a child with her, without the knowledge of his first wife. However, the mind boggling problem that i have with him is that he, as of now does not want to relinquish his marriage with his first wife, even though she wants to end it.
Then, when I thought about it, why is she even asking him to end the marriage? Can she not do it herself? So far I am told that it is the man that can only terminate it. Although it pisses me off tremendously, before I go again trying to convince him that the least he can do in his freaking failed marriage at this point is end it, i need to know a couple of things.
One. If a husband has sex with another wife, without her knowledge of it, including having no knowledge of this second marriage, is it considered, adultery?
Second. Is it really supported by the Quran or hadith, that it is only a man that can end a marriage, even if a woman is wronged and the man is obviously rejecting a divorce out of self interest? ( Like not wanting to lose his children for example)
These are my questions and i would be grateful if anyone can answer. So I thank you in advance.