I am trying to get rid of all influences of Islam on my mind, but time and time again I always find myself turning back to Allah when I am in need. I think at my core, I still emotionally believe in Allah and I want to overcome that. I want to rely on myself exclusively and not Allah anymore. But the problem is, I have no idea how to go about this process. Can somebody please help me with this and offer me some advice?
IMHO thats not something you really have to get rid of.
being a non-believer for me is being a free entity. in other word, i can believe in whatever/whoever i want, and thats include Allah or Jesus or even Doraemon.
the key is: enjoy your life
if believe in Allah really brings you a peaceful mind, so be it. if your faith fades or up-down, so be it