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 Poll

  • Question: Which Dawah person would you say gets the "So bad its Funny" award?  (Voting closed: June 21, 2014, 04:18 PM)
  • Hamza Tortoise - 2 (14.3%)
  • Adnan Rashid - 3 (21.4%)
  • Imran Ibn Mansur (Dawah Man) - 9 (64.3%)
  • Nouman Ali Khan - 0 (0%)
  • Total Voters: 14

 Topic: Funniest Dawah Artist

 (Read 10157 times)
  • Previous page 1 23 Next page « Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #30 - June 11, 2014, 07:28 PM

    Funny thing is his wife does not wear a hijab - He did a whole Facebook post sometime back explaining why she doesn't:

    "My wife does not wear hijab

    Why the HECK am i telling you guys something that is NONE of anyones business! … The reason for this is coz many of you seem to think it is!

    Let me explain… Even though I do not have to, nor do i owe any of you an explanation!!! … Prior to me giving da'wah, PRIOR to me even practising how I am now, I met the women that I married two months ago alhamdulillah… She did not wear the hijab at the time and nor has she put one on yet. I do not need to list out the good things about her and why I chose her to be companion in life… but let it suffice to say that she is FULLY aware of her shortcoming in regards to this issue and is clear that it is impermissible for her to not wear the hijab… however she is working on it

    Now why am i sharing this with you??? For the last 3 months, some CREEPS have consistently been stalking me and her, sending really nasty messages… stuff that would make any mans blood boil, stuff that would break any persons heart and things that could cause someone to move away from Islam as opposed to bring them close. But today this got taken to a DIFFERENT level… Some IDIOT with what seems to be a fake profile called Jose Marino has taken a picture of me and her whilst we were in her house (garden to be exact) with her family and has started posting it a lll over Facebook on dawah groups, pages… even pages I have nothing to do with like Tayyibun Institute for example

    Do you Shayateen REALLLY don't think I give her da'wah??? For all those of you who tell me why I do i advise others to observe hijab and hayah in videos but not to my own wife… do you SIMPLE MINDED SHAYATEEN really believe that??? I swear by Allah if you wanted to hurt me you have hurt me! And it is very difficult for me to forgive you in such a situation but wAllahi I forgive you all for all that has been done till now. Forgive me for my harshness but I feel I have a RIGHT to be really disappointed… and upset and angry. I have done everything I possibly can, to the point where my wife prefers to not leave the house, and at times doesn't leave for 7 days in a row… and some DOG comes and puts her face ALLLLLL OVER THE BLOODY NET. And you know what I feel it is a sister who has done it… with this fake profile… fear Allah whoever you are!

    Instead of be-friending her and showing her love and then giving her naseehah you lot behave in this way… and actually put her off being around 'practising' people to the point where she doesn't go out or even make any friends. She ha no jail friends and she has no practising friends other than her sisters… and all she knows from the 'muslims' is judgemental fools!

    I request three things from you guys who love and fear Allah SWT as best as you can

    1) Report this Facebook and get it removed once and for all from the net https://www.facebook.com/mohmed.london.7

    2) For those of you that have my wife on social media… please show her some words of support and love, be friend her… do whatever you can… sometimes a sisters needs sisters as opposed to a guy telling her stuff ESPECIALLY if it is about religion… even if this guy is her husband regardless of the fact that he is 'Dawah Man'

    3) Pray for her and pray for us… that Allah protects us from shikr, kufr, fahsha and the jealousy hatred and evil eyes of such people

    Remember guidance is from Allah SWT… Don't get arrogant over the righteous actions you engage in, by looking down on those who don't coz it may be that Allah takes that guidance away from you and gives it to some else!

    P.S … and i mean this seriously… I beg you do not say anything dumb… you know whoever you are… there is always that one person that ha to say something stupid… coz seriously I will just block you plain and simple… and get on with my life… I WILL continue doing da'wah… I will continue advising in favour of hijab and niqab… I DON'T DO THIS FOR YOU OF MUSLIMS!!! If i did this for you I would have been long gone from the pain you have already caused me and my family and friends… I do this for my Master who will stand before on the final day… PPS you have know clue the reality of my wife's heart, and what she does and doesn't do behind the scenes… Just remember the hadeeth in which RasoolAllah SAAS explained the 7 major sins in which he said one of them is slandering against a chaste women… people who do this will enter hell-fire unless they get Alalh's mercy…

    Believe me… on that day… when I am hungry for my own salvation… and everyone accept RasoolAllah SAAS will be saying 'myself myself' … you BETTER make sure i don't see you.

    I pray that Allah SWT expiates us before our death so none have to suffer the fitnah of the akhirah ameen

    Finally I request that you share this post in case anyone has seen the picture being shared by this person… can you imagine… I am put in a position by some stranger to expose my private life… because this person thought he/she is doing something for the sake of Allah lol… the irony [/quote

    https://www.facebook.com/dawahman/posts/613280938737897"

     Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #31 - June 11, 2014, 07:30 PM

    Stalks women for not dressing how he wants them to and thinks he's a big man, gets pissed when people stalk his missus for not dressing how they want her to and calls them creeps.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #32 - June 11, 2014, 07:35 PM

    I really hope Dawahman has a wife like lua, constantly fucking with his brain by showing him all the stuff that is wrong with what he is preaching. I really hope it was her who made him reconsider that 14 year old rape clothes video. I mean, she is strong enough to refuse to wear hijab for him. She might just be not half bad.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #33 - June 11, 2014, 07:37 PM

    I really hope he wakes up one day, realises what he's said and publically apologies. Don't expect it of course.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #34 - June 11, 2014, 07:39 PM

    Stranger things have happened.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #35 - June 11, 2014, 07:43 PM

    A profound realisation on exactly what he's championing with his level of intellect? I'm not holding out hope. I seriously doubt he has the level of awareness needed. Unless of course he's married to a lua. No way he'll come to it on his own.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #36 - June 11, 2014, 07:50 PM

    The closest I've seen is to dress modestly, and the most specific thing to cover were upper and first half of the lower body, actual specifications are to cover the breasts and cover your body to the knees or just below, some would also argue shoulders. I've never seen a hadith that actually says hijab.


    I don't want to know how many hours of my life were devoted to discussing whether or not and to what extent the hijab as we know it today is in the Quran, whether it is for Mohammed's wives or every woman, whether it's for when you leave the house or when you leave the community and travel on the road, et cetera et cetera.

    Short answer is that a case could be made that it doesn't say you need to hide your hair and certain other parts of your body, but it gets really crazy really quickly, and you'll hear a huge range of opinions even from a Quranist standpoint. One might tell you that the hijab is mandatory, and not just any hijab, the khimar. Others might tell you there's close to no dress code for women at all, as long as you're being relatively modest. It's just a huge mess, but the implications are definitely there. I don't see how Dawahman could possibly be "corrected" on this issue without adding more Muslims to the long list of those who he has already enraged and embarrassed.

    I really hope Dawahman has a wife like lua, constantly fucking with his brain by showing him all the stuff that is wrong with what he is preaching. I really hope it was her who made him reconsider that 14 year old rape clothes video. I mean, she is strong enough to refuse to wear hijab for him. She might just be not half bad.


    When I was reading that, I was pretty curious. I wonder if she's a convert. It would be interesting if she could give him some fresh perspectives. At the very least, I hope she stands her ground if she doesn't want to wear the hijab.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #37 - June 11, 2014, 07:53 PM

    A profound realisation on exactly what he's championing with his level of intellect? I'm not holding out hope. I seriously doubt he has the level of awareness needed. Unless of course he's married to a lua. No way he'll come to it on his own.


    She'd have to be better than me, it's still touch and go with my husband.  wacko I can't imagine having to sit down with Dawahman of all people and sift through that nonsense for months at a time...
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #38 - June 11, 2014, 07:56 PM

     Cheesy
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #39 - June 11, 2014, 07:57 PM

    I have to admit I find the hijab sexualising. All is does is highlight sexuality, make a huge point about you having girly bits, and then at the same time tell you you shouldn't notice it. That's actually the reason that when I see 5 years old wearing one I honestly find it disturbing.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #40 - June 11, 2014, 08:01 PM

    On women of a consensual age the hijab does look sexy depending on the eyes and facial shape.

    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #41 - June 11, 2014, 08:02 PM

    It's not about how it looks, it's about what it represents.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #42 - June 11, 2014, 08:07 PM

    So, I read it in full this time, and I guess she must be a convert. I actually feel pretty bad for him, to an extent I didn't think possible, especially since the only emotion he ever sapped out of me before was extreme embarrassment. Is it because I am the shameful hijab-free wife of a man whose head is full of silly Islamic values who undoubtedly struggles to defend me? Maybe.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #43 - June 11, 2014, 08:13 PM

    Dawahman does not have my sympathy. His wife does.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #44 - June 11, 2014, 08:15 PM

    Quote
    And you know what I feel it is a sister who has done it… with this fake profile… fear Allah whoever you are!


    Wow. It's always you evil women!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #45 - June 11, 2014, 08:16 PM

    Dawahman does not have my sympathy. His wife does.


    Before I knew anything about her his wife had my sympathy.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #46 - June 11, 2014, 08:16 PM

    He describes his wife as "knowing" she is sinning, and that she doesn't leave her house in a week because she doesn't want to "show" herself. It's just that she doesn't have the courage to put on the hijab permanently. So I don't think he's married to a lua Roll Eyes

    "The healthiest people I know are those who are the first to label themselves fucked up." - three
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #47 - June 11, 2014, 08:18 PM

    Before I knew anything about her his wife had my sympathy.

     Afro

    I wonder if anyone has a link to the thread I find out he's married. happymurtad posted a few comments and I just replied to each one with "He's MARRIED?!" if memory serves. Then the chocolate one made a comment about trading her for a goat.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #48 - June 11, 2014, 08:23 PM

    He describes his wife as "knowing" she is sinning, and that she doesn't leave her house in a week because she doesn't want to "show" herself. It's just that she doesn't have the courage to put on the hijab permanently. So I don't think he's married to a lua Roll Eyes


    I actually had a brief period of time early in our marriage when I really started slipping on the modesty thing where I even started going grocery shopping one town over so as to not run into anyone he knew to save him the embarrassment. It was even before the validity of the hadith was something I could bring up with him, so, if he asked me why I wasn't wearing the hijab, or why I wanted to wear skirts and dresses all of a sudden, I went to the same reason I gave him whenever he asked me how I could possibly support gay marriage: "I'm not the best Muslim."

    Cool memories!

    Anyway, I may be projecting a bit, but I wonder if her situation could be similar.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #49 - June 11, 2014, 08:25 PM

    Afro

    I wonder if anyone has a link to the thread I find out he's married. happymurtad posted a few comments and I just replied to each one with "He's MARRIED?!" if memory serves. Then the chocolate one made a comment about trading her for a goat.


    Grin For some reason I always assume these guys are married at least once.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #50 - June 11, 2014, 08:27 PM

    It's not about how it looks, it's about what it represents.


    To be fair, if someone genuinely chooses to wear it then good for them. I know some girls that wear it for reasons as far removed from the Islamic context as possible.

    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #51 - June 11, 2014, 08:30 PM

    Fair enough.

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #52 - June 11, 2014, 08:31 PM

    He describes his wife as "knowing" she is sinning, and that she doesn't leave her house in a week because she doesn't want to "show" herself. It's just that she doesn't have the courage to put on the hijab permanently. So I don't think he's married to a lua Roll Eyes


    I wander what it would feel to read that your husband publicly declares your shortcomings

    No free mixing of the sexes is permitted on these forums or via PM or the various chat groups that are operating.

    Women must write modestly and all men must lower their case.

    http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?425649-Have-some-Hayaa-%28modesty-shame%29-people!
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #53 - June 11, 2014, 08:33 PM

    Afro

    I wonder if anyone has a link to the thread I find out he's married. happymurtad posted a few comments and I just replied to each one with "He's MARRIED?!" if memory serves. Then the chocolate one made a comment about trading her for a goat.


    If I recall correctly, my response was something like "It's not that difficult an accomplishment. Mumble a few words. Trade a few goats." I guess it was a little crude as I think about it.
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #54 - June 11, 2014, 08:35 PM

    It was funny. Grin

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #55 - June 11, 2014, 08:37 PM

    Quote
    Believe me… on that day… when I am hungry for my own salvation… and everyone accept RasoolAllah SAAS will be saying 'myself myself' … you BETTER make sure i don't see you.

     

    YO fuckers y'all better not run into me on the day of judgement or else !     Old geezer  

    LOL

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #56 - June 11, 2014, 08:40 PM

    I'ma bust a cap of 'athaab in yallz asses, son. For realz, yo. Yall bitches ain't gettin' no maghfirah from ya boy right here, yaam sayin! Straight hardcore dawah up in here. Keepin it real wit my homies, blood. Bang bang it's dawahtime muthafuckas.  cool2
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #57 - June 11, 2014, 08:43 PM

    If I recall correctly, my response was something like "It's not that difficult an accomplishment. Mumble a few words. Trade a few goats." I guess it was a little crude as I think about it.

     

    alas muslim marriage is not that simple anymore.  

    The old pakistani aunties who arrange marriages as a hobby ( alot of those in my family and parents social circle)  now ask for a long resume and CV along with a picture and a document with your family history and the resumes of your dad, siblings and grandfather.

    And this huge package of info is emailed around the community until someone find you a suitable spouse for their daughter/son.


    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #58 - June 11, 2014, 08:44 PM

    The Dawahman Song

    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Funniest Dawah Artist
     Reply #59 - June 11, 2014, 08:46 PM

    I'ma bust a cap of 'athaab in yallz asses, son. For realz, yo. Yall bitches ain't gettin' no maghfirah from ya boy right here, yaam sayin! Straight hardcore dawah up in here. Keepin it real wit my homies, blood. Bang bang it's dawahtime muthafuckas.  cool2



    YO fuckers y'all better not run into me on the day of judgement or else !     Old geezer  

    LOL


    Cheesy Cheesy

    I don't even know why the other three options are up there. They might be bad, but Dawahman was born for this award.
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