Hi somcad, good to have you here
Nice, understated intro somcad. Welcome. And I hope you get a chance to tell us more about yourself?
Schizo: that's brilliant. And funny. But mostly just brilliant
Thank you. Here's what.
Growing up, my parents weren't too strict, they only forced me to pray and fast. I was always a regular sunni, until I went to college and I became a salafi. At a certain point I decided to reintegrate into society (trim the beard, roll down the pants, etc.) which created a schism between myself and the salafi community. I gradually became more secular until I found the need to re-read scientific miracles in the qur'an. I fell upon the answering islam website, and my subsequent research led me to commit kufr.
I think the first think I did that night was to watch George Carlin's bit on religion (which was awesome btw). Comedy is so much more enjoyable now. Only problem is that I'm straining relationships I find, because I don't like letting in people too close.
Oh ya, funny story. I later found out that I have tourettes syndrome, which I developed while in college, but didn't notice because it's mild and always came out as dhikr. My parents believe it's the devil, and that I should come back closer to god to heal this. They're getting older now and more religious... and strangely enough they're getting more fob as well... I don't think I could ever let them know though; family gatherings are a good reminder on the shame I could impose on them. They don't need to go through that.
I'm 27 now, and all my family and family friends wish me to find a wife. My parents have offered to find me one, but I fear that it would be a religious girl who deserves better than a shady husband... unless she doesn't, in which case I deserve better, lol. My exit from Islam made me notice that I seemed to always have depression anxiety, and behavioural disorders, all of which led me to being a firm muslim. My current thing now is to try and develop proper eye contact with people.
When I was on K I felt like a prophet. The K entities would persistently impart mystical truths whilst encircling me (so I'd have 4 different K entities, corresponding to the senses) simultaneously communicating disparate things. Whenever I tried to isolate one by dragging them closer to my consciousness, or conscious self, or drunk drugged up fucked self, I would start to hear my skin, or smell my speech, or taste my hearing. And then, before I could even reattempt to adumbrate, or, at the very worst, conceive of a rudimentary methodology for revisiting those very same K-gods (for they are different depending on where you are in the ketuniverse) the godhead of the K-hole, or, those pestilential Gods, spin me round and round with such vivaciousness that synaesthesia becomes mere vibration! I am deposited in a void, or in Germany, or in a hollywood acting studio except for the fact that it is not an acting studio and I am transformed into a South American coke dealer, or someone from the mafioso or someone with criminal propensities and an accent that combines the two aforementioned ethnicities, with a massive ego and a legion of supporters, and, some random accomplice of mine bigging me up for a reason that I cannot fathom to this day! What is even more bewildering is that my incapacitated self is able to cognise once watching this film, but then he thinks that this experience is a reoccurrence of a previous experience in an equally fictitious universe where I am simultaneously exalted and a squatter attending psy-trance raves whilst solely living off monster munch crisps and throwing the devoured packets at the heads of fellow squatters because I am too poor to afford beer.
Oh, uh, wait, you're an ex-salafi? :( that's no fun, the title of your thread was much more interesting. I thought you would extol the merits of prophet Ketamine (May plenty of snorts bless him) over those of Mo. In any case, I would like to know if the revelations I recanted are more or less divine than those transmitted by Jibby?
LOL, you're awesome. Funny enough, I've decided not to try hallucinogenics till I'm at least 50. Even then I fear I'm pre-disposed to becoming schizophrenic... just like my former role model (peace be upon him)