Hello all!
OP - June 16, 2013, 12:11 AM
Hi everyone,
I started looking for an ex-muslim community a week or so back in light of completely letting go of my religious beliefs, and apparently this is the biggest ones out there, so I joined. It's been only about maybe 2 weeks since I've actually renounced Islam and became an atheist, so I'm still in that phase of reading a ton to get a little more knowledgeable about why exactly I don't believe in a god anymore. I have yet to 'come-out' to anyone yet, though I've left a few hints for a sibling. The only people who I'm kind of scared to tell are my parents, since they are quite religious and I'm basically afraid of what they might say or do. I don't live in a Muslim country, so I don't fear telling others, but all the same I don't know anyone else who is an atheist/agnostic, so I feel a little alone.
My journey to becoming an atheist began when I started asking deeper questions about my faith. This of course led me to answers that I wanted to hear...but at the same time led me to some beliefs that were the opposite of what I wanted to hear. I grew up with a more liberal version of Islam, so I was open to all this different knowledge and different side of Islam. At first I thought that others had gotten it sadly wrong and all they had to do was open their hearts and find the truth. It was an emotional and psychological response, wanting to be reaffirmed about all that I had believed in. I wanted to believe that god was good and was truly a merciful creator who loved us all in the end (I was still a young, naive child who didn't know much about the outside world). In a way I grew up with a more Christian idea of a loving god who only meant well for us, with a few nuances and obligations thrown in (pray, read the Quran, no pork/alcohol, slightly liberal idea of modesty). But my search led me to find the truth about my religion. I saw what it actually stood for and what it did to people. It was only then did I realize that there could be no god who could do something like this for no reason. So now I know more about Islam than my parents and siblings, and because of this I have renounced my faith.
Somehow I feel more at peace with my spirituality and life in general than I have ever before. I feel like I am truly free now and that I can finally go ahead and live my life as best as I can. I don't have to struggle everyday against my natural desire and will for a god who only created me to pray to him (what for?) to go to a heaven where I doubt I'll feel happiness without those that I love.
I've never really belonged to a Muslim community as my family moved a lot through my childhood and we never settled in neighborhoods with a lot of Muslims/mosques, so I don't have that loss of identity others might have. I grew up in the west with a Muslim identity that was heavily influenced by living here, so now I only have to shed that Muslim identity and still feel at home.
That's my short story, thanks for reading, see you all around!
The highest activity a human being can attain is learning for understanding, because to understand is to be free.
― Baruch Spinoza
Topic: Hello all!