Skip navigation
Sidebar -

Advanced search options →
↑ ↓
CEMB → Forum → Welcome to the forum → Introductions → defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?

Welcome

Welcome to CEMB forum.
Please login or register. Did you miss your activation email?

Donations

Help keep the Forum going!
Click on Kitty to donate:

Kitty is lost

Recent Posts

Qur'anic studies today
Today at 06:50 AM
Do humans have needed kno...
April 20, 2024, 12:02 PM
Lights on the way
by akay
April 19, 2024, 04:40 PM
اضواء على الطريق ....... ...
by akay
April 19, 2024, 12:50 PM
Do humans have needed kno...
April 19, 2024, 04:17 AM
What's happened to the fo...
by zeca
April 18, 2024, 06:39 PM
New Britain
April 18, 2024, 05:41 PM
Iran launches drones
April 13, 2024, 09:56 PM
عيد مبارك للجميع! ^_^
by akay
April 12, 2024, 04:01 PM
Eid-Al-Fitr
by akay
April 12, 2024, 12:06 PM
Mock Them and Move on., ...
January 30, 2024, 10:44 AM
Pro Israel or Pro Palesti...
January 29, 2024, 01:53 PM

Theme Changer

 Topic: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?

 (Read 14673 times)
  • Previous page 1 2« Previous thread | Next thread »
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #30 - January 02, 2011, 10:24 PM
    Quote from: newsoul on January 02, 2011, 09:32 PM
    Trust me, it is WAAAAAAAAY better to not be in a relationship and be true to yourself than to follow or try to accomodate the rules of others for the rest of your life. Ride that bike, baby, and with your hair blowing in the wind!

    Even completely veiled women don't ride bikes because it would "attract attention" and the form of her buttocks might show! :O One day when you find your hot Scandi guy you'll thank me for this. Yes you will! Part of growing up and being authentic is realizing and adhering to some standards for our mates and also being complete all by ourselves. A relationship should be icing on the cake, not the cake itself.

    So yes, it's a little scary and sad, but those feelings will pass and you'll find your way. And if you ever need a pep talk, you've found the right place!


    newsoul Smiley thank you for the pep talk!  far away hug
    i'm sure i am better off and on the right way. I guess i just need some time and to read posts by people like you. It kind of gives the reassuring pat on a shoulder Wink

    @ Everyone

    I would like to thank you guys for your time and patience, and reassuring words Smiley it means a lot to me Smiley I will continue to lurk around and ask questions Smiley
    thanks again everyone for a warm welcome Smiley and good night!
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #31 - January 02, 2011, 10:46 PM
    clarap

    You only have one life to live - don't waste it on pining for one man.

    Fix yourself up, buy some new clothes, and go dating again. Trust me as soon as you meet someone else you'll forget about this other guy, first love is the most over-dramatic illusory mirage anyway. And the way he was, it sounds as if being with him you should just as well have signed over the rest of your life and soul to being a floor scrubber in a prison as live as an 'obedient' Muslim wife.

    If someone had said to you wanna do that, you'd have told them to take a hike. Just because its some fella you had a fling with it sounds enticing to suffer such a cloistered, circumscribed fate? Fuck that.

    Go out and make love to other men, skip through meadows, dance to music, travel around the world, go scuba diving, be reckless, forget about him.
    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #32 - January 03, 2011, 10:14 PM
    billy, you gave me at least a few other new years resolutions to put down on my list Smiley

    thank you guys for your support! i didn't expect such warm welcome at all! and for that BIG  thnkyu
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #33 - January 03, 2011, 10:53 PM
    clarap, ask him to convert to your religion. You will learn a lot about him from his response. In your 1st post you said that he did not want you to meet his friends because they would give you funny looks - that should have been the sign for you to run away from him.

    If he really cared for you he would be feeling good while he is with you. I would want to be seen with the woman whom I loved or cared for. I am sure if you cared for a guy, you would want to be seen with him. He did not want to be seen with you - why would you want to be with him? In my opinion the guy has no character, sorry to say that.

    You were not defeated by Islam. You would have been defeated by Islam if you had converted.
    वासुदैव कुटुम्बकम्
    Entire World is One Family
    سارا سنسار ايک پريوار ہے
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #34 - January 03, 2011, 11:26 PM
    Quote from: Hassan on January 02, 2011, 01:55 PM
    Welcome, clarap  Smiley

    I guess my questions are:
    > Is this what brainwashing does to you?

    Yes

    > Can it be undone?

    Sometimes.

    > How can people simply believe that? Can't they feel is wrong?

    The human mind seems to have an infinite capacity for self-delusion.

    > He can't see how divisive his thinking is, how is it possible?

    See above.

    > What happens to 'no compulsion in religion'?

    It gets explained is some apologetic bullshit manner.

    > I find it so so hard to reconcile that i've been with someone who seemed so great he actually thinks that under some circumstances he can discipline his wife physically. That Mo is the mercy to humanity.

    Welcome to the world of Muslims.

    > How can he reconcile it. How can I do it?

    Muslims have been doing it for 1400 years by selective vision, mind-bending apologetic bullshit, appealing to emotion, avoiding reason, and picking and choosing...

    > How do I deal with it?

    In this case I seriously doubt you can. Best to move on. Sorry.

    > I thought that maybe I'm deluded but then I read the quran again and it just makes my heart sink and tears fall down my cheeks. How can he read it and actually reassure himself in being muslim?

    As above.



    I'm really sorry clarap but I agree with what Hassan has written (good post Hassan!  Afro ).

    Unless you have amazing influencing skills to bring light to your bf, I think it is best to move on. I'm not saying there is no hope - I think it takes a good year at the minimum to unwind a Muslim mind, but it requires a mind that is the slightest bit liberal and left enough to get the ball rolling. Once his belief system has been won over the others hurdles will include the shame it will bring to his family.

    I wish you well, all the best.  Smiley
    Hear ye -->> DONATE TO CEMB

    Relativism | Cognitive dissonance | Cognitive biases | Memeplex | Consequentialism
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #35 - January 04, 2011, 09:31 AM
    @Ram

    i have no religion, in a sense of organized religion, ritutuals etc. I go to church cause my parents ask to do so and since i don't want to upset them, I do, but my views on the matter are well known to them.
    My religion is the Golden Rule. for me that's enough to live by Smiley of course that's not enough for him and in the end my behaviour was disgraceful (as he put it) cause i don't worship the one who created me...
    About his friends. Sorry, might have put it wrong. they would give HIM funny looks not me. As you know, dating is not allowed in islam, or spending time unchaperoned. Cause the third party is the devil Wink
    Apparently, that's quite respectful of him and could be taken as sincerity of his intentions cause if he introduced me as his gf, I would be perceived as a mere slut, thus not worthy of marrying. My status as a woman would be damaged and such info would travel to his parents and rest of the family. He'd get the looks but after all, you know.. he is a guy, and he just went astray for a while. you are aware of importance of chastity in islam. so that is supposed to indicate how serious he was about me.
    I agree, i would want to be seen with my love. It took its toll on me cause i thought that he was embarrased to be seen with me or sth. but as he said that he wouldn't be ashamed of being with love with me (quite on the contrary, he'd want to share his happiness with the world) but he would be ashamed of the one to one meetings and all the nights he spent at my place, the physical bit.

    thanks for your input Smiley

    @Maya

    thank you. i hope everything works out well for your daughter. as a mother i cannot imagine your feelings you must have felt when your child converted... all the best!
    if i may ask, why is it going wrong already?

    @HighOctane

    yeah i think that Hassan nailed it Smiley i was hopeful cause he spent so much time abroad and you would think he is westernized... but as they say it: you can take the beduin out of the desert but you can't the the desert out of the beduin. but he is not all evil. the religion was a massive issue. if we weren't discussing it, it was all good, there was understanding on other aspects of life, and some minor things we would have to compromise on. anyways, the interest in islam is still here and i am planning on asking some more concise questions (so bad at keeping my writing short) about how i can do my bit in this world and maybe help other people Smiley thanks for taking time to comment! thanks for your wishes and all the best to you too!
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #36 - January 04, 2011, 10:52 AM
    Quote from: clarap on January 02, 2011, 06:05 PM
    Hmm it did bother him. He told me many times how guilty he felt. Still, it didn't stop him to tell me at some point that he loves me but it pains him to know that we won't meet in heaven because i'm non-muslim...

    I think that is the only way you might make him doubt.

    He probably needs you to convert in order to cope with the fact that he thinks you are a nice good person AND you are also non-Muslim and he cannot accept the fact that non-Muslims can actually be good.

    If you want to have a remote chance of making him doubt his "absolute" point of view you should never ever convert, so he will have to face reality: non-Muslims are as good as Muslims and they do not deserve any (fictional) eternal punishment in hellfire ^_^
    Do not look directly at the operational end of the device.
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #37 - January 04, 2011, 01:06 PM
    Clarap,

    Bluntly,  I think you are wasting your time if you in any way think he will change.

    I would also say that you should walk away as quickly as possible and meet other people asap - it will add perspective.

    The longer you mess about with it, the more you'll think "ah it's not so bad, I'll just forget about this bit, won't ask questions about this bit" etc.  If you know the analogy of the boiled frog, you will soon be in the same situation as Maya's daughter.

    Stay away as much and as long as you can to get perspective, and long term stay away.

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #38 - January 04, 2011, 05:54 PM
    clarap, he would not be bothered by funny looks from his friends if he really cared for you. Even if you do not have religion, you can still ask him to convert to your parents' religion for the happiness of your parents. He should understand that you care for your parents. He should do it if he cares for you. It would be interesting to see his reaction.

    If he cared for you he would take your views in consideration. If he thinks your views are not important, it is obvious he does not care for you. Do you want to be with someone who does not care what you think?

    Why is it that non-Muslims do not ask Muslims to convert to their religions?
    वासुदैव कुटुम्बकम्
    Entire World is One Family
    سارا سنسار ايک پريوار ہے
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #39 - January 04, 2011, 06:27 PM
    Quote from: Ram on January 04, 2011, 05:54 PM
    clarap, he would not be bothered by funny looks from his friends if he really cared for you. Even if you do not have religion, you can still ask him to convert to your parents' religion for the happiness of your parents. He should understand that you care for your parents. He should do it if he cares for you. It would be interesting to see his reaction.

    If he cared for you he would take your views in consideration. If he thinks your views are not important, it is obvious he does not care for you. Do you want to be with someone who does not care what you think?

    Why is it that non-Muslims do not ask Muslims to convert to their religions?


    Excellent point! Even the few Muslim girls who do marry non Muslims seek to convert them. Why for FS?Huh?
    What kind of fraudulent love is this? One would expect that a person who makes an unconventional choice to be comfortable with unconventional views and actions.
    @clarap it's pure EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL
    If I were in your shoes I would ask this guy to GTFO MY LIFE ASAP. He's basically a 7th century nutter masquerading as a 21st century Romeo.He is incapable of the kind of love you imagine and are expecting from a man.


    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #40 - January 04, 2011, 06:42 PM
    @Ram

    I understand where you coming from. But i also read about saudi culture, to which he has been mostly exposed, and it does seem to me that what he did (not introducing me as his gf) was more respectful. There is a massive emphasis on chastity. If he introduced me and then vanished for 3 nights a week to spend it with me, I would end up as a slut in the eyes of his friends. He would get looks but after all he'd repent and all would be fine and dandy. However, it would destroy our chances for being together cause the word would spread. I did meet few of his friends when we were in public, library or somewhere. But i was a mere female friend he's grabbing a snack with or studying.
    I never asked him to convert cause I didn't have such need. I think that people can practice their religion as long as they don't push it onto me. However, at certain point it started being more and more agressive on his part so I confronted him about all those beautiful teachings in islam: polygamy, wife beating, men excel over women, wife's obedience etc etc. Funnily, he was so quick to point out faults with christianity but at the same time being unable to see faults with islam. Plus I heard: no matter how hard you try, you cannot prove islam wrong. i am happy as a muslim. I cannot imagine myself not being muslim - this would be so wrong!
    So there you have it. And yes, I agree. He didn't care for what i think/feel, nor he was capable of understanding that you just can't force someone to believe *sigh*. but i can sort of understand where he is coming from cause my own mom for the past few years tried to make me go to church, pray and make sure that i BELIEVE. she thinks believing and going to church is good and beneficial, and she wants me to see and experience the same benefits she gets (whatever they are). She does it, cause she is convinced it'll be good for me and because she CARES. but after last fight we had during christmas, she said she'll back off. now when i call her, i call myself 'infidel' and we have a laugh Smiley so she lets me go my way and she still loves me. my religious views don't could everything else she knows about me and all the love she has for me. i think that's the difference.
    so i agree with you that he has some twisted thinking and reasoning going on. i do think however that from what i gathered there are a lot of underlying issues with his family. family dynamics in the middle east is so much different than in the west! islam, praying etc keep these feelings in balance. i think it gives him some comfort, but at the same time doesn't make him face the 'monsters'. he just doesn't know that i'd stand by him whatever issues he had. instead, he made me into his enemy. also there is just so much threatening in the quran that when i first started reading it, i was like: wtf??? i think that appealing to fear is such a cheap tactic.

    @hupla

    putting myself out there again Cheesy and hoping for the best Smiley thanks for taking time to comment Smiley

    @Tlaloc

    could be what you said, it's hard to tell to be honest. he's a lot of non-muslim 'friends' that he claims to trust and respect but i don't think any of them would take as much bullshit as i did Wink they'd just turn around and move on.
    anyways, we live and we learn Smiley hopefully haha!
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #41 - January 04, 2011, 06:49 PM
    Quote
    when i call her, i call myself 'infidel' and we have a laugh Smiley so she lets me go my way and she still loves me. my religious views don't could everything else she knows about me and all the love she has for me. i think that's the difference.


    Now that's what I would call love! The real thing!


    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #42 - January 04, 2011, 06:58 PM
    @hypocrucifier and everyone else Smiley

    yes, i totally agree, it's emotional blackmail. no denying here Smiley

    i just want to clarify that i'm OUT of this relationship. i don't think about getting back together or converting him into another religion or no religion at all. but because it's the first time i had to deal with so deeply religious person from such a different belief system, there are things that i don't understand. it's the mindset behind his decisions that i wanted to understand. i was hoping you'd tell me the truth, how muslims think because at some point you were muslim yourselves Smiley and you did tell me Smiley
    maybe because as i said before, i'm a sucker for love and in my world love always wins Smiley yeah, yeah, pretty naive mindset, i have got only myself to blame Wink
    it's been life experience and i want to learn from it and hopefully pass on the 'knowledge' or my experiences to others(?) i want to make it useful. there is a lot that is wrong with islam, to put it mildly.
    i'd like to educate myself and hopefully others, but not sure yet how to go about it :/ any suggestions very welcome Smiley
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #43 - January 04, 2011, 07:05 PM
    Quote from: hypocrucifier on January 04, 2011, 06:49 PM
    Now that's what I would call love! The real thing!


    yeah my mom rocks! Smiley we disagree very much on the religion bit but there is no such a thing she wouldn't do for me and vice versa. she can see past religion and see the individual, which my ex was unable to do.

    i was thinking that maybe it's because islam claims to be so egalitarian and everyone consideres themselves muslim first and then nationality etc. so the religion comes first and then the rest. while other people i guess try to see the individual and his/her character first. that was just my impression.
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #44 - January 04, 2011, 08:35 PM
    I am surprised you have the strength to leave the relationship so soon, not sure if I would have had the maturity to do the same at your age.

    What religion does your mum follow?
    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #45 - January 04, 2011, 08:39 PM
    clarap, since you don't have a religion, you can never be compatible with a religious person, specially a Muslim. He has no problem sleeping with you in spite of the fact Islam forbids sex before marriage but he is protecting you from his friends. This is a recipe for disaster. This is the proof that Islam distorts people's minds, it makes them hypocrites.

    He is NOT following his religion when he has sex with a woman before marriage but he wants you to convert! Utter hypocrisy. As a matter of fact, that would be a good question to ask him: 1) why he is having sex before marriage if he cares so much for his religion? 2) Why is he asking you to convert when he is not following Islam faithfully?

    When you try to discuss with him about the issues in Islam he is finding faults with Christianity. It shows that he is NOT capable of answering your concerns, very Islamic mindset. This should tell you what kind of relationship you can expect if you were to marry him. You should count your lucky stars and go away as far as possible from him.
    वासुदैव कुटुम्बकम्
    Entire World is One Family
    سارا سنسار ايک پريوار ہے
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #46 - January 04, 2011, 09:26 PM
    Quote from: IsLame on January 04, 2011, 08:35 PM
    I am surprised you have the strength to leave the relationship so soon, not sure if I would have had the maturity to do the same at your age.

    to be honest IsLame i am surprised i got myself into such a substandard situation in the first place, not proud of myself at all! but thanks for a compliment i guess Smiley i think that internet and my uncle google helped a lot. but i was accused by him of passing judgement without seeing things with my own eyes. media sensationalize a lot of stuff and i'm sure it doesn't present a balance picture. still, quran and hadiths speak for themselves.

    Quote from: IsLame on January 04, 2011, 08:35 PM

    What religion does your mum follow?


    my parents are catholics. they are fairly religious in a sense that they DO believe in god. they don't see anything wrong with confession and all the rituals that catholic church has. as much as they are convinced that 'church is good for ya' they also accept that there are other faiths in this world. they might not agree about what they have in their holly books but they take the stance that it's not for them to judge.

    Quote from: Ram on January 04, 2011, 08:39 PM
    clarap, since you don't have a religion, you can never be compatible with a religious person, specially a Muslim. He has no problem sleeping with you in spite of the fact Islam forbids sex before marriage but he is protecting you from his friends. This is a recipe for disaster. This is the proof that Islam distorts people's minds, it makes them hypocrites.

    we are in total agreement here Ram Smiley i always thought that religion f**** with people's brains. i have no problem with people being spiritual, let them be. but reading any religious book should make you go: wtf? at least that's my opinion.
    Quote from: Ram on January 04, 2011, 08:39 PM

    He is NOT following his religion when he has sex with a woman before marriage but he wants you to convert! Utter hypocrisy. As a matter of fact, that would be a good question to ask him: 1) why he is having sex before marriage if he cares so much for his religion? 2) Why is he asking you to convert when he is not following Islam faithfully?

    ahhh hypocrisy. used that word more for the past year than during my entire life Wink
    i think that's what repression of sexuality leads to. basically you have a standard of not having sex, not masturbating, and lowering your gaze. it would be abnormal if he didn't have urges.
    answers to your questions:
    1) he is a mere human and he just can't help. of course sex is the biggest offense but he shouldn't be with me alone in the first place. you see i'm so lovely that he just couldn't help  Tongue
    2) because he is imperfect human being so of course he makes mistakes! didn't you know? Wink but the quran and islam IS perfect and that's why i should convert. so that i don't disrespect my creator and disgrace myself.
    Quote from: Ram on January 04, 2011, 08:39 PM

    When you try to discuss with him about the issues in Islam he is finding faults with Christianity. It shows that he is NOT capable of answering your concerns, very Islamic mindset. This should tell you what kind of relationship you can expect if you were to marry him. You should count your lucky stars and go away as far as possible from him.


    of course i know that now. i didn't know this 6 months ago.
    but i think i have some self-preservation instinct cause when he first time mentioned convert cause otherwise we can't be together, i broke up with him. it wasn't long tho and we were back together :/ and here i am now Smiley


    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #47 - January 04, 2011, 10:46 PM
    Quote
    This is because muslim girls aren't allowed to marry non-muslims, they can only marry a non-muslim if he converts to Islam first.


    This stinking bit of hypocrisy is OK with you? Merely being angry doesn't solve the problem. People should do more about exposing their unique brand of 'love'!


    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #48 - January 04, 2011, 10:55 PM
    Quote from: clarap on January 04, 2011, 06:58 PM
    i'd like to educate myself and hopefully others, but not sure yet how to go about it :/ any suggestions very welcome Smiley

    There are lots of books which are good. Ibn Warraq's "Why I am not a Muslim" is a good place to start. (Others may disagree).  It is digestible enough to read, though it does consist of a series of essays which were converted into a book - and so reads a little full on for an entire book.
    Nevertheless, it is readily available (on Amazon for example) and I feel makes its points well without distorting the underlying texts it uses. 
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #49 - January 04, 2011, 11:22 PM
    clarap, I highly recommend the 2 books written by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. (1) Infidel and (2) Nomad.

    She describes her journey from Islam to apostasy. As a woman you would relate to her writings. These books are available everywhere. You can get them from Amazon.
    वासुदैव कुटुम्बकम्
    Entire World is One Family
    سارا سنسار ايک پريوار ہے
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #50 - January 04, 2011, 11:25 PM
     

    Quote from: clarap on January 04, 2011, 09:26 PM
    ternet and my uncle google helped a lot. but i was accused by him of passing judgement without seeing things with my own eyes. media sensationalize a lot of stuff and i'm sure it doesn't present a balance picture. still, quran and hadiths speak for themselves.


     
    That's their standard retarded response. OK! accepted there's a lot of sensationalism in the media these days,but like they say where there's smoke there's fire.It should kick start your search for truth instead of accepting their phony apologetics. A woman being stoned to death is a fact, sensationalized or factually presented.



    Quote from: clarap on January 04, 2011, 09:26 PM
    my parents are catholics. they are fairly religious in a sense that they DO believe in god. they don't see anything wrong with confession and all the rituals that catholic church has. as much as they are convinced that 'church is good for ya' they also accept that there are other faiths in this world. they might not agree about what they have in their holly books but they take the stance that it's not for them to judge.


    That's 21st century behaviour,typical of people who are in tune with the times.They believe in utter bullshit IMO but are willing to tolerate other views.But these abominable,hypocritical upstarts take advantage of this tolerance to foist their toxic bullshit on others.What is so depressing and highly irritating is that there seem to be quite a few locals[regrettably, mostly women] who readily play into their hands.A bizarre suicidal tendency indeed!



     


    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #51 - January 05, 2011, 08:39 PM
    Quote from: hypocrucifier on January 04, 2011, 11:25 PM

    That's 21st century behaviour,typical of people who are in tune with the times.They believe in utter bullshit IMO but are willing to tolerate other views.But these abominable,hypocritical upstarts take advantage of this tolerance to foist their toxic bullshit on others.What is so depressing and highly irritating is that there seem to be quite a few locals[regrettably, mostly women] who readily play into their hands.A bizarre suicidal tendency indeed!



    Agreed Hypocrucifier. They do believe in utter bullshit, but i don't feel in a position to lecture them about it because my mom is seriously sick and in a lot of pain at times. so if prayer and belief keeps her happy and stronger then so be it. i'm not going to take it away from her although i think it's better to deal with issues head on.
    i know it's harder cause i used to believe and it's somewhat comforting that you can plead to someone who is all-powerful to grant you stuff you want or remove your depression or suffering rather than fix the problem yourself.

    Quote from: hupla on January 04, 2011, 10:55 PM
    There are lots of books which are good. Ibn Warraq's "Why I am not a Muslim" is a good place to start. (Others may disagree).  It is digestible enough to read, though it does consist of a series of essays which were converted into a book - and so reads a little full on for an entire book.
    Nevertheless, it is readily available (on Amazon for example) and I feel makes its points well without distorting the underlying texts it uses. 


    thanks Smiley i'm more concerned about how to approach subject altogether. i need a good biography of mo and i was recommended this one:
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Muhammad-I-Ishaq/dp/0196360331/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294259627&sr=1-1

    life of muhammad by I. Ishaq and A. Guillaume but i saw a few times muslims discarding his writings...
    also it would be good to know about history of pre-islamic arabia i guess. if anyone has got any material accesible online that could recommend, please do.
    also, shall i read the quran from cover to cover or in chronological order? cause i'm often told that it's better to read in chronological order since it gives the idea how islam progressed together with mo gaining more power.

    thanks Smiley
    Quote from: zooby on December 26, 2011, 01:57 AM
    I think a lot of us were brought here by google. Verily google guides whom it wills!

  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #52 - January 16, 2011, 11:09 AM
    Quote from: newsoul on January 02, 2011, 09:32 PM
    Even completely veiled women don't ride bikes because it would "attract attention" and the form of her buttocks might show!

     Cheesy Here goes my new signature
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=L2pk
    --
    Previously donatelo
    --
    Watch Ishina lie and then try to squirm her way out of it like a worm
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #53 - July 02, 2012, 04:58 PM
    "Is this what brainwashing does to you? Can it be undone?"
    Anything can be undone.  I've seen secular people flip and become religious.  I've seen religious people flip and reject religion.

    "How can people simply believe that? Can't they feel is wrong?"
    You've got me.  I used to believe and now I wonder what the hell was wrong with me.  I've always been very bright... so it's not a matter of intelligence.

    "He can't see how divisive his thinking is, how is it possible?"
    Yes

    "What happens to 'no compulsion in religion'?"
    Like many of the things in the Koran... it was Abrogated... that is a verse in the koran can be overridden.  The peaceful versus in the koran were released when Islam was weak and Muslims needed to be peaceful.  When Islam was strong and in a position to be dominant.... then you see the violent versus.

    "I find it so so hard to reconcile that i've been with someone who seemed so great he actually thinks that under some circumstances he can discipline his wife physically. That Mo is the mercy to humanity. How can he reconcile it. How can I do it? How do I deal with it?"
    As it is with many of the kind at-peace Muslim girls you meet.  Most are needy, suffer from mental problems, depression, will turn vicious at the slightest threat to Islam...

    "I thought that maybe I'm deluded but then I read the quran again and it just makes my heart sink and tears fall down my cheeks. How can he read it and actually reassure himself in being muslim?"
    You already know he is brainwashed from Islam... you know the answer to your question.

    "I guess that somewhere deep down I wanted to drive him away from islam, but I failed. Because islam trumps everything, love and dedication means nothing when we are talking about afterlife *super sigh*"
    Yes, if he is so committed to Islam, just stay away.


    In short, stay away from this guy.  You might have to do something to be with a muslim guy.  You might need to convert to satisfy his family or community. 
    But this guy seems to genuinely believe in the Koran and is defensive about it.
    Just stay far far far away.
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #54 - July 02, 2012, 05:23 PM
    Quote from: Ram on January 04, 2011, 11:22 PM
    clarap, I highly recommend the 2 books written by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. (1) Infidel and (2) Nomad.

    She describes her journey from Islam to apostasy. As a woman you would relate to her writings. These books are available everywhere. You can get them from Amazon.


    Don't forget her other one - caged virgin?
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #55 - July 02, 2012, 05:27 PM
    If circumcision of a two year old is seriously being contemplated, should not someone contact child protection?
    When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.


    A.A. Milne,

    "We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #56 - July 08, 2012, 02:06 PM
    Quote from: clarap on January 02, 2011, 01:36 PM
    hello everyone!

    .....................(i hope they will help me understand and move on with my life:). BIG BIG THANK YOU Smiley thnkyu thnkyu thnkyu thnkyu thnkyu thnkyu thnkyu


    clarap.. dear clarap..  No..no..no..noooooooooo.

    You just don't know what you are writing..

    You don't know when you won or  when you lost..  

    You are wrong . this heading  "defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?"

    is wrong. Utterly wrong..

    YOU ARE THE WINNER...,

    YOU DID NOT NOT LOOSE TO ISLAM.. YOU JUST  DEFEATED  ISLAM..

    First get that thing right in your head please..

    with best wishes
    yeezevee

    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim     
  • Re: defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #57 - July 08, 2012, 11:59 PM
     Cheesy Cheesy Boss the post is more than a year old  !


    The World is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
                                   Thomas Paine

    Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored !- Aldous Huxley
  • defeated by islam, relationship down the drain. why? what now?
     Reply #58 - April 29, 2013, 01:45 PM
    Sounds like me, though I was the one who radicalised myself. Relationship's gone, I'm depressed, under pressure to be religious. Tired of people around me picking and choosing what they take from the religion. Tired of people telling me it's a 'natural progression' and I have to take things slowly. To be honest, my views before were more humanist than anything. I never really saw this side of Islam till I looked into things and realised what I'd become. It was so different to what I was before. Now, I don't really know where I stand. To me, true Islam would be the salafi way and I don't see how I can be that person and be a functioning member of society. I could be a moderate but the impression I get is it has to be all or nothing. I'm not sure. It's a mindfuck.
    Don't read all those science books bro, you'll just get more confused.

    That's funny. The more science I read, the less confused I get.
  • Previous page 1 2« Previous thread | Next thread »