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 Topic: What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable

 (Read 24511 times)
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  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #90 - August 15, 2015, 11:52 PM
    Love is not in the brain. When you are in love your brain releases dopamine, the same chemical that your brain releases when you eat chocolate. That doesn't mean chocolate makes you feel love. It means love and eating chocolate result in the same neurochemical reaction.

    Love is not a chemical. It's a connection between two people that causes a chemical release.
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #91 - August 16, 2015, 01:04 AM
    what kind of connection ?  are you meaning shared energies , are we beginning to sound like ted lol
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #92 - August 16, 2015, 01:05 AM
    A connection as in a relationship.
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #93 - August 16, 2015, 01:06 AM
    But even when you are seeking a connection , you are doing it on the basis that it makes you feel better, so you are addicted (connected) to someone  because that connection releases feelgood chemicals.

    So a relationship could be a compared to an internet addiction on a chemical level, which does not imply any one of them being better.

    Then doesnt it simply boild down to chemical reactions?



    Nuff. Im tired of love talk   Tongue
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #94 - August 16, 2015, 01:10 AM
    Do people usually do drugs that release dopamine when they're looking for love? If love is just a chemical reaction, why don't people take the easy and instantaneous fix? Do you binge on chocolate when you're looking for love?
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #95 - August 16, 2015, 01:22 AM
    No, I binge on nutella because Im hungry and also chocolate  makes me feel happy.

    There's no instanteneous fix to anything. I was comparing addiction to connection and how both of them have a common denominator (feel good chemicals) whether in the short term or long term.
    Also these chemical reactions do not last forever they change constantly , so it's obvious that if you are in a relationship , you are not going to feel the same about your partner every day.

    The experiences (falling in love, eating chocalate and doing drugs) are different but the basis is the same, I mean not entirely for the chocolate, because we need to eat for surviving (which actually makes us feel better as well) lol



  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #96 - August 16, 2015, 01:31 AM
    Quote from: suki on August 16, 2015, 01:04 AM
    what kind of connection ?  are you meaning shared energies , are we beginning to sound like ted lol


    Ya  exactly like Ted

    None of this make sense  tbh Cheesy
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #97 - August 16, 2015, 01:33 AM
    If love were like addiction, you'd need a bigger "dose" of your partner to get the same feeling as time passes, which is not the case.

    If someone was addicted to their partner, that would be dependency, not love. It's unhealthy and is usually a sign of unresolved childhood issues, such as abandonment, etc.

    You're confusing a phenomenon (love) with its physical manifestation (dopamine release). One is caused by the other but is not equal to it. Hurricanes destroy cities. Hurricanes are a phenomenon. Destroyed cities is their physical manifestation (the way they affect the environment). That doesn't mean everything that destroys cities has the same basis as a hurricane. They can be entirely different but have the same physical effects.
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #98 - August 16, 2015, 01:53 AM
    I don't know about bigger doses, but you can get desensitized to the presence of your partner, just as with any drug.

    I'm not equating the two, just saying that Ince's comparison isn't completely off. If we weren't conditioned to form relationships via release of neurotransmitters, then we simply wouldn't do it.
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #99 - August 16, 2015, 04:38 AM
    I'm not disagreeing that neurotransmitters play a role in love. But equating love to a chemical in the brain is reductionist.
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #100 - August 16, 2015, 06:51 AM
    Quote from: Abood on August 16, 2015, 01:33 AM
    If love were like addiction, you'd need a bigger "dose" of your partner to get the same feeling as time passes, which is not the case.

    If someone was addicted to their partner, that would be dependency, not love. It's unhealthy and is usually a sign of unresolved childhood issues, such as abandonment, etc.

    You're confusing a phenomenon (love) with its physical manifestation (dopamine release). One is caused by the other but is not equal to it. Hurricanes destroy cities. Hurricanes are a phenomenon. Destroyed cities is their physical manifestation (the way they affect the environment). That doesn't mean everything that destroys cities has the same basis as a hurricane. They can be entirely different but have the same physical effects.

    You've always been a truly remarkable man. It's great to see you back  Afro
    Hi
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #101 - August 16, 2015, 06:55 AM
    Quote from: INcePtion on August 16, 2015, 01:22 AM
    No, I binge on nutella because Im hungry and also chocolate  makes me feel happy.

    There's no instanteneous fix to anything. I was comparing addiction to connection and how both of them have a common denominator (feel good chemicals) whether in the short term or long term.
    Also these chemical reactions do not last forever they change constantly , so it's obvious that if you are in a relationship , you are not going to feel the same about your partner every day.

    The experiences (falling in love, eating chocalate and doing drugs) are different but the basis is the same, I mean not entirely for the chocolate, because we need to eat for surviving (which actually makes us feel better as well) lol



    Is it just me, or are you getting maturer and wiser by the day? It's like you're on brain steroids. Or perhaps I've just missed this side of you in the past?
    Hi
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #102 - August 16, 2015, 11:07 AM
    Quote
    If love were like addiction, you'd need a bigger "dose" of your partner to get the same feeling as time passes, which is not the case.



    I think asbie made a good point for this.


    Quote
    If someone was addicted to their partner, that would be dependency, not love. It's unhealthy and is usually a sign of unresolved childhood issues, such as abandonment, etc.


    Why isnt the case?
    How do we define what love is to begin with?
    The experiences vary but they can have the same outcome. Love can be addictive, destructive, possessive etc...

    That's your definition of love.


    Quote
    You're confusing a phenomenon (love) with its physical manifestation (dopamine release). One is caused by the other but is not equal to it. Hurricanes destroy cities. Hurricanes are a phenomenon. Destroyed cities is their physical manifestation (the way they affect the environment). That doesn't mean everything that destroys cities has the same basis as a hurricane. They can be entirely different but have the same physical effects.


    I dont think Im confusing but anyway let me explain what I was trying to say.


    If I want to destroy a city, I'll use things that have a destructive element to them (hurricanes, bombs, earthquake)

    Now hurricans and earthquakes occur naturally, we cant control them but the result is a city being destroyed.

    Whereas bombs, which are man-made and not a phenomena still produce the same outcome.

    How does that relate to love and drugs?

    They have something in common to begin with , therefore the outcome is the same although it almost feels like two completely different experiences.

    Also what do you think pushes someone to develop romantic feelings towards a person they dont even know? Isnt it a bunch of chemical reactions? How do you explain that?
     Even natural phenomenas have an  explanation, even though we dont know when they are going to strike, likewise we dont know when someone is going to be attracted to someone.



    Why do people seek love?

    To Feel better.

    Why do people take drugs?

    To feel better.

    Im not saying the experiences are the same but the outcome is the same.

    Just like earthquake are not the same as hurricanes and bombs, they still do produce the same outcome. They have the destructive force in common.





    Quote from: Abood on August 16, 2015, 04:38 AM
    I'm not disagreeing that neurotransmitters play a role in love. But equating love to a chemical in the brain is reductionist.


    We can talk about anything at an atomic level, how is that reductionist?

    Snow, love, chocolate are still awesome for me at least, even if we talk about them at a "reductionist" level.



  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #103 - August 16, 2015, 11:08 AM
    Quote from: musivore on August 16, 2015, 06:55 AM
    Is it just me, or are you getting maturer and wiser by the day? It's like you're on brain steroids. Or perhaps I've just missed this side of you in the past?


    No it is just you.  Tongue

  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #104 - August 16, 2015, 06:00 PM
    I seek love because I seek love, I seek to connect with people and relate to them. I don't seek love to "feel good". It's not like I set out to "feel good" and take whatever I find my way. Again, if that were the case, I'd be content with drugs or chocolate or any other thing that releases dopamine.

    No one in the world can use drugs or food to replace social connection. No one. Ever. Humans are social species. We need love to survive. The dopamine rush pushes us to seek that feeling of love, but the dopamine rush in and of itself isn't enough. Again, that's incredibly reductionist.
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #105 - August 16, 2015, 06:01 PM
    Quote from: musivore on August 16, 2015, 06:51 AM
    You've always been a truly remarkable man. It's great to see you back  Afro

    Thanks. Smiley
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #106 - August 16, 2015, 06:23 PM
    Quote from: Abood on August 16, 2015, 06:00 PM
    I seek love because I seek love, I seek to connect with people and relate to them. I don't seek love to "feel good". It's not like set out to "feel good" and take whatever I find my way. Again, if that were the case, I'd be content with drugs or chocolate or any other thing that releases dopamine.

    No one in the world can use drugs or food to replace socIial connection. No one. Ever. Humans are social species. We need love to survive. The dopamine rush pushes us to seek that feeling of love, but the dopamine rush in and of itself isn't enough. Again, that's incredibly reductionist.


    I wish I could remember where I read it, but I saw an article about two months back claiming that it was not the 12 steps of the sobriety programs that brought sobriety, but rather the social aspect of the meetings and the social support in the structure of the programs that enabled people to kick their addictions.
    Don't let Hitler have the street.
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #107 - August 16, 2015, 07:30 PM
    Quote from: Abood on August 16, 2015, 06:00 PM
    I seek love because I seek love, I seek to connect with people and relate to them. I don't seek love to "feel good". It's not like I set out to "feel good" and take whatever I find my way. Again, if that were the case, I'd be content with drugs or chocolate or any other thing that releases dopamine.

    No one in the world can use drugs or food to replace social connection. No one. Ever. Humans are social species. We need love to survive. The dopamine rush pushes us to seek that feeling of love, but the dopamine rush in and of itself isn't enough. Again, that's incredibly reductionist.


    I get your point  Smiley
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #108 - August 16, 2015, 09:47 PM
    I wonder how valid it would be to ask if loneliness could be viewed as withdrawal.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #109 - August 16, 2015, 10:00 PM
    Where does addiction start and basic human need begin? I think interaction and connection is a basic human need.
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #110 - August 17, 2015, 01:31 AM
    Some people live in mountains and their friends are squirrels, or so I've heard.

    Hmm, I wonder how to exploit this basic human need, like that one dude who monopolized the water supply, innit.  suckers
    Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
    how fuck works without shit??


    Let's Play Chess!

    harakaat, friend, RIP
  • What Happens When You Make Yourself Vulnerable
     Reply #111 - November 04, 2015, 11:09 PM
    You can't love without the possibility of getting hurt.

    That's just the way it is, unfortunately. There is that risk involved, but hopefully the reward will be greater. Just think about the reward Smiley

    Otherwise, if you don't even try, you gain nothing. So really, although vulnerability is tough, it's our only option if we hope to have love in our lives...
    Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in.
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