Was searching for answers but none found in religion

1« Previous thread | Next thread »
- SparkleyGal
- Member
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
OP - February 18, 2013, 03:27 PM

Hi everyone. I am a 31yo female who was brought up a non-practising catholic. my parents taught me to say please and thank you and respect the differences in other people i.e. not to laugh at or point at disabled people etc. so they basically instilled manners and thought for others.

I grew up feeling isolated from my peers and like I didn't belong anywhere and thought at 20 joining the nuns could be the answer. I was supposed to meet up with a nun and talk but she didn't contact me (thankfully lol) and I felt rejected for a while but not for long.

I had an awareness of Islam which was mentioned very briefly in RE classes at school and remembered my parents saying they treat women like shit (not wishing to offend anyone, I am just relating their attitude).

Anyway after being encouraged to develop my spirituality via my 12 step group and discovering the Islam Channel on Sky I became fascinated by the channel last year and would watch question and answer show every day til I got sick of it and stopped for a few months.

I am glad I didn't rush headlong into converting although I did google how to go about it, I am the kinda person liable to make hasty decisions which I later regret. After watching IslamiQA and City Sisters I was struck by how ridiculous the rules and regulations are e.g. women aren't allowed to have their eyebrows waxed, praying five times a day at specific times, possibly having to learn Arabic to read the arabic version of Quran, hijab for women and girls, it's a lot to ask and a big commitment.

I bought a copy of the Quran a couple months ago in a local charity shop and read bits from it. Kinda hard to understand, a bit like the old testament in the christian bible.

I could not commit to a religion (or is it culture, I am not sure?) that arranges marriages, carries out "honour killings" to save face in their community and has so many dos and don'ts that they can't agree among themselves what they are.

I read "Shame" by Jasvinder sanghera (sp) a couple of years ago and was sickened and saddened. I admire anybody brave enough to leave behind their friends and families forever in a bid for basic freedom.

I found this site the other day when reading a link posted on the spectator. I'd googled about british women converting to islam. i've read quite a few posts and it's good to know there is a safe haven for anybody having doubts or has left islam.

I decided against embracing the catholic church too. The paedophilia and cover ups sickens me. I have a God of my own understanding and I am happy to consider myself a spiritual person rather than religious.

I would like to wish everyone here on this site all the best and hope that you'll find peace of mind some day.
- billy
- Pub Regular
- Tripitaka ~ Closet Juice
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #1 - February 18, 2013, 03:31 PM

Hi Sparkley Gal - welcome to the forum

Jasvinder Sanghera was from a Sikh family, not Muslim. On the question of honour crimes and forced marriage its true to say that Islam does not directly teach these things. The most accurate criticism you can make is that Islam's conservatism and attendant taboos against criticising certain things allows an atmosphere to be perpetuated where being a whistleblower on certain things becomes more difficult than it should be.

"we can smell traitors and country haters"

Quote from: arX on May 01, 2011, 03:33 AM
God is Love.
Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.
- Lluvia
- Member
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #2 - February 18, 2013, 04:42 PM

Hi SparkleyGal! Welcome!

I enjoyed reading your intro because your story resembles to mine more than the stories of actual ex-muslims. I, too, was brought up in a non-practicing christian family (some catholic, some protestant) and grew up feeling isolated and different from the other people of my age. And I was also interested in Islam, in fact I almost converted, but I finally didn't and so there I am, on this forum, after I discovered the CEMB youtube channel while trying to heal myself from the religious virus.

If the abrahamic god judged himself according to his own moral standards, he'd go to hell.

He's jealous, full of pride, he created evil, he doesn't heal sick people while he could, he's attacking people who are weaker than him, he follows his own desires and he commits murders all the time.
- SparkleyGal
- Member
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #3 - February 18, 2013, 06:54 PM

Thanks for the welcome. Lluvia, I just read your story just before I posted my intro, was a fascinating read.

PS what do the stars under our names mean? I had three before I made this post and now have four.
- kutta
- Pub Regular
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #4 - February 18, 2013, 07:07 PM

Hello SparkleyGal, that is an amazing story. I am very happy that you found your peace of mind (Y)
- Tonyt
- Pub Regular
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #5 - February 19, 2013, 03:08 PM

Welcome SparkleyGal.

Quote from: billy on February 18, 2013, 03:31 PM
On the question of honour crimes and forced marriage its true to say that Islam does not directly teach these things.

Hmm, it could be that some people's interpretation of Islam does not "directly teach these things".

But if you look at Muhammad's engagement to Aisha at 6 and marriage at 9, that was definitely an arranged marriage between Muhammad and Aisha's father. And it really was a forced marriage too because how could anyone say that Aisha at that age had any say in the matter. And Muslims are supposed to follow the example of Muhammad, so that seems to me that Islam is ok with these things.
- asbie
- Actually just a dude
- Poster of the Month
- Past, present, future...
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #6 - February 19, 2013, 03:34 PM

Hi SparkleyGal. Welcome to the forum, and have a rabbit!

Also, are you by any chance a vampire?

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- sciFimoviefan
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #7 - February 20, 2013, 04:46 PM

people who almost converted but didnt are better people than ex muslims especially those who converted and then quitted. ex muslim from muslim families, its different, they brought up as a muslim without their own wills cos of parents. people who saved themselves from joining islam did a biggest job of all. cos that way people wont bother you. unlike ex muslim, as an ex convert, its been hell. they obviously made most of it cos im white and they hate western styles and its people so they took it out on me using me as an apostate as they see it as the way to throw their feelings around. nasty feelings though. i used to have two asian best friends now i dont see them anymore. what those asians did to me damaged my mind of asians people even though i tried to fixed it and ignored it but the damage is very damaging and it cant be cured. really best words is its not whole asians. its ISLAM people. people from islam make ur life hell if ur not muslim or if ur not obeying any obligations from that religion.

well done for saving urself from an situations that could lead u to hell-bent.

may long this more often this happens to people who thinks about convert to islam, nature forbids! ameen.
- Lluvia
- Member
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #8 - February 20, 2013, 07:40 PM

This is true, sciFimoviefan. As I never converted officially, nobody is there to make my life an hell. The Muslims I know are not close to me, and most of them didn't suspect anything. And the few who knew about my "future" conversion cannot consider me as an apostate (luckily). However, they consider me as an ignorant. They made their duty to talk again about religion before they saw that they couldn't have me like that and that my decision not to convert was definitive. Since then, they stopped talked to me.

The funny thing is that one of them told me to "restudy" Islam after I taught him the principle of abrogation which he didn't even know. Like bitch please, learn your own religion He told me that I knew "nothing" about Islam but he didn't and doesn't even read the quran. When I told him that I do read it and that he should do the same, he told me "no" followed by "I don't want to influence myself with false arguments which could turn me away from Islam" and "I know Islam is true, if I want proofs I have many. I don't want to influence myself and take the risk to misguide myself". Yea right, reading the quran could take him away from Islam.
Of course he was talking about my arguments using the quran... but to the point that he doesn't even want to read it so that he's sure to stay Muslim and continue to say that his version of Islam is the true Islam and that all the jihadists didn't understand Islam right... this is pure ignorance and/or effective brainwashing from his family.

If the abrahamic god judged himself according to his own moral standards, he'd go to hell.

He's jealous, full of pride, he created evil, he doesn't heal sick people while he could, he's attacking people who are weaker than him, he follows his own desires and he commits murders all the time.
- sciFimoviefan
- Ex-Muslim
- offline
Was searching for answers but none found in religion
Reply #9 - February 23, 2013, 12:02 AM

lluvia, take a look at this trend. its also another possibily future 4 u.

http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?topic=23408.msg671879;topicseen#new
1« Previous thread | Next thread »