I know what you're saying, when you take it off you suddenly feel like everyone else, one of the crowd, blended in and insignificant, ofcourse also with hijab you don't need to care about doing your hair or your make up nor care what your figure looks like and when someone is rude to you in public or reacts to you in a certain negative way or you fail that job interview, you think, oh its just the hijabs fault, its not me i'm ok.. Reality hits when you take it off and nothing changes, can't blame hijab anymore when someone is rude, can't hide behind it when you don't feel like making an effort with your looks.. I felt this too when i first took mine off, wanted to put it straight back on, didnt feel like doing my hair and makeup every dayyy lol what a chore, i realised negative people still responded to me in a similar way as they did when i had it on, some people are just plain rude anyway but i always blamed every bad experience on my hijab. The hijab has knocked my confidence sideways when it comes to job interviews, i allowed it to affect my selfworth and never got jobs with it on, prior to hijab i was offered poisitons much higher than what i was being interviewed for.
Oh hells yea, I totally get that feeling. I used to be able to blame the hijab. Now I realise the world is full of assholes for the most part, so the reactions will still occur, just in different circumstances.
As for how you look, being a niqab helped me. I have BDD (body dysmorphia) and so it was like the only time in my life in which wearing a mask in public was socially acceptable.
I get that it's not socially acceptable to most of the UK, but it is way more socially acceptable than wearing a regular mask, which I wish I could do.
It also does make you feel special, if not to anyone then at least in Islam....or at least that lovely mythical Islam that likes to make women feel that feeling special in a hijab, can make up for all the other parts of Islam that place her as low as an animal.
But I don't miss the hijab. I may not look special, I may not feel special, but to some people I matter, and those are the people that matter to me. Further, I am me. I know you are taking me for me in the real world. If I matter to you it's not because I am muslim and therefore better than the next person, it's just because we have clicked on some level.
Plus, for all it gave me the ability to hide, it was suffocating, and depressing.