Hi Shadow.  I know how you feel.  I no longer wear it, but for about two years previous to taking off I really started to HATE it, but kept it on anyway.

May you find a way to be able to live YOUR truth.

Much Love

How did others reply to it and what made you decide to take it off after such a long time with struggling with it?

Thank you.

^ My mum has conditions too. But yeah, it made me realise how much she loved me that she allowed me to take it off at all with relatively little complaint.

Speaking from an ex-Christian stand-point. Nuns wear theirs more as a tradition not as a religious obligation. It really ticks me off with pro-hijab sites compare hijabs to habits, because habits and hijabs serve different purposes. In fact some nuns don't even cover their hair depending on which region of the world you are and the Pope himself stated that the outfit should adapt. Polar opposite of the hijab that is not up for discussion, debate or even change.

Speaking of which, if you guys were able to wear fashionable hijabs with hair showing a bit and decorations like pins or something and the community wouldn't care, would you still hate it.

I'd still hate it. I don't want to be associated to Islam's dogmas or even Islam itself. I am a person, not a robot that obeys automatically and that has to wear something just because it is said so.

 I would still hate it. I don't want others to label me as a Muslim especially when I'm not one.

Shadow I'm on the same boat. My parents don't even care about the hijab itself, but more about their reputation and what others say. My only option is either to hurt them really badly or move away, and I've already chosen the latter. Our community is so cruel. Whenever a family has an issue with their kids, the rest of us stop talking to them, visiting them and they aren't invited back into the community, unless they openly state that they threw out their kids.

One particular family, they were very "famous" in the community, and their eldest daughter found a bf at uni. The dad tried marrying the two other daughters off before they had any opportunity to do the same, and the sisters ran away together. It's been like 6 years, and the family was "destroyed" so they moved back to Iraq, and their daughters live somewhere in Australia and no one knows where. I wish I could contact them somehow..

Crunchy Cd's (can I call you CC? )

Check out the Islamic version of slut shaming:
It's not enough that you cover from head to toe and make the effort to cover your hair; you get hated on for everything. These pics keep going around on FB, shared, liked, and there's hardly anyone to challenge it.

Al-Alethia, I envy you so much. Congrats on the hijab-less life, can't wait to get there too.

Can you summarise WTF she is on about?

I got halfway through and gave up.

Just thought it was an interesting video. She's basically trying to shame and scare girls into not removing the hijab.

Don't worry. I've got everything covered - literally. I'm keeping as much as I can a low profile to my parents. They don't suspect a thing from me and I try to be as quiet as I can about it. Because talking about the hijab/religion or anything else will just angered them. So it's just better if I'm just a human walking around the house without a word to say. They're happier like that and I'm somehow happier like that too. Because the quiet I am, the more I am getting independent and prepared for what's coming soon. So yeah, I don't think you should joke about it. :/ Just be on your own, in your corner. Don't talk about it to any of your family members....

Many non muslims tend to have one of these two opinions on hijaab

1) All muslims women are forced to wear hijaab.

2) Hijaab is just part of culture and all muslim women wear it out of choice and we should respect their faith.


Both opinions are equally bullshit but they just can't seem to see the reality of the problem.

I can echo those here who say they wouldn't want to wear any form of hijab, no matter how mild, because of how it blatantly associates the wearer with Islam. As I was working through my doubts before actually leaving Islam, this was one of the things I struggled with. Having been living in an Islamic country at the time, though, I couldn't have removed it without making serious waves at work and within my social circle.

I was still living there when I finally did leave Islam. At that point, I didn't dare remove it. I feared it would have meant not only losing my social circle, but risking my freedom and possibly my life if it led to the people around me discovering the truth about my apostasy. And so I continued to wear it for the longest four months of my life until I was able to leave the country.

A few weeks before I was to leave, I was contemplating how and when, if ever, I would tell my closest Muslim friends that I could no longer believe. I decided I could do a test run to see how they would react by admitting that I had thoughts of removing the hijab. Just as I suspected, they reacted with pretty much an intervention, and begged me to reconsider. One friend hastily forwarded a few links about hijab in an attempt to convince me it was obligatory. In her haste, she didn't realize one of the links she sent me actually argued against the necessity of hijab. When I pointed it out, she frantically apologized, and proceeded to fling quote after quote from Qur'an, hadith, and various scholars in an attempt to prove that hijab is required, and then bullied me into obeying with statements like, "Please remember, that any hadith is sunnah.  And we must follow the sunnah also."

With just days left in the country, I assured them they had convinced me and I would keep the hijab. They seemed satisfied.

On the day I finally left, I was wearing a long skirt and a thin t-shirt under a flowing black abaya with a black hijab wrapped lightly but securely around my head. I boarded the plane and sat quietly, anxiously yet nervously awaiting my stop in Amsterdam. I felt fine in my abaya and hijab. I knew by then how to wear them comfortably, so I wasn't physically bothered. But I was acutely aware of everyone who looked at me. "I'm on the plane now, I'm home free. I don't have to wear this anymore. Can they tell? Do they see the real me under these shrouds?" Because I could feel it sharply.

As soon as I arrived in Amsterdam, I headed straight for the restroom. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing in anticipation of what I was about to do. I was a little shaky standing in the stall as I removed each piece one at a time, folding carefully so they would take up the least amount of room in my bag. I put on the jeans and tank top I had carried with me, and then I hesitated. This was it. The end of the old me.

I was about to have full possession of my freedom.

Even more acutely aware of every glance, I stepped out of the restroom. I had gone in quiet, somber, and shrouded. I came out tall, fresh, alive. Had anyone noticed? It didn't matter. The air on my skin gave me goosebumps to the core and I gained confidence with every step. Before I knew it, the hijab was behind me. And I haven't looked back.

:') omg I loved that..

Luthiel, for a second I felt I was in heaven... seriously... I'm just dying to feel this! I can't wait for the day where I could go out and feel the air on my hair. I'm excited!

I know, but I want the total feeling that comes with it. I don't know...I've already taken it off 2 or 3 times in my backyard where no one could see me but I'm sure it isn't the same as taking it off, forever.