1. How did you come to the realization that Islam is not the true religion?
It was a process that took about a year from when the first doubts and reservations about Islam crept in thanks to genuine pious curiosity about Islam which led to reading Quran/Hadith and finding a lot of…unpleasantries.
I'd read Infidel, explored plenty of other atheist material (videos, articles, etc) which made perfect sense to me; I also read plenty of Islamic material which I found absurd and cruel, and the apologetics I'd read was unsatisfactory and didn't answer the questions. Despite all this, I was too afraid to let go of Islam and ignored everything I knew.
One night I was reading a "book" (I think) on the net by an ex-Muslim and I came across the creation myths of various religions and some absurd ahadith, which I'd read before, but for some reason the absurdity of Islam just screamed at me this time; it was like everything I'd learnt about Islam, about atheism, about the universe, etc just flashed before my eyes and I realised "it's all bullshit!" and I lost my faith right there and then. I tried to "find" it again for several weeks after my "aha" moment but finally fully let go.
2. What belief system are you now and why? Like do you believe in God. Whats your opinion of an after life.
I'm an (sometimes agnostic) atheist. I don't believe in god nor do I have a "belief system". I just believe in having basic human morality (don't kill, don't steal, be helpful, kind, etc) and the Golden Rule. I believe there might
be a force of sorts out there that keeps things going (that may just be my ignorance talking) but I don't believe there's any omniscient, omnipotent sky-fairy that gives a damn about how we live our lives and communicated with us ions ago via some desert scriblings.
I don't think there's an afterlife; I believe this is it and we just cease to exist once we die, but there's really no way of knowing for certain what's beyond death. What I'm sure about is that Islam is not from any perfect, all-knowing creator of the universe and neither is any religion and seeing as religions and ignorance are where the whole notion of an afterlife comes from I disregard it.
3. How is your life different after leaving Islam? You just want to eat pork and drink alcohol now don't you .
More depressing to be honest. This awful loneliness that can be crippling at times ("these people I love and care about and who love and care about me could potentially abandon me or be heartbroken if they knew who I really
was"), coupled with guilt about faking being a Muslim. No guilt about prayers or missed days of Ramadan anymore though, that's nice.
No alcohol or pork for me (I've never tried either). Had some haram turkey on the flight here, some haram KFC once, oh and I eat gelatine-containing lollies on a regular basis; I also ditched the hijab but that's about as hedonistic as I get. It's more of a mental/intellectual freedom for me. I can think freely now! That's priceless and what really counts for me.
4. Exactly who are you? How do you define yourself.
I'm not sure how to answer this. I'm a human being before anything else; a humanist, and of course a woman. I'm my parents' daughter and my siblings' sister but I don't really hold onto any other labels.
5. What do you want to achieve in life?
Happiness. Love is always nice to have, ooh and to see as much of the world as possible.