Drinking alcohol and kids

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- scamper_22
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Drinking alcohol and kids
OP - November 24, 2012, 03:22 AM

So I was wondering what you guys think of alcohol and kids.

I don't think I'd want my kids to see me drinking anyways. I don't want to create a drinking culture of any sort at home. Not for religious reasons... I just don't think it is good for them. A lot of my friends are Punjabi and they have a very open drinking culture and you see that every occasion seems to be based on drinking.

But I figure by about 15, I should be able to have a glass of wine or beer around them.

Then there's the issue of kids telling other people. Now I'm a known apostate to my family and my fiance. But beyond that I'm still not sure how far I'll go in the future. At what age do you think kids will be able to take in such information in a discreet manner.
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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #1 - November 24, 2012, 03:31 AM

I grew up in a non-muslim family and I used to have a drink with my dad from time to time when I was 18 and 19. We would just have a beer together while BBQing. It wasnt even a big deal.

Scamper Im guessing your Punjabi friends are Jatt. Am I right? I think this whole drinking bravado is a very Jatt thing. Im punjabi too and my family is hindu punjabi and occasions are not centered around drinking. There will be alcohol present but its not a big piss up lol.

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- scamper_22
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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #2 - November 24, 2012, 05:22 AM

im guju... holiest of holiest
Come from a ridiculously holy family.

Just happen to be staying in an area that is heavily punjabi sikh... jaat pretty sure.
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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #3 - November 24, 2012, 06:00 AM

Dude Jatts generally take it over the top. The heaviest drinking goes on at the Jatt weddings I photograph and usually if there is a fight its at a Jatt wedding lol.

Guju eh? Kenyan gujus are religious around parents and party animals away from home. Seen that too.

I personally think parents who drink responsibly around their kids is perfectly fine mate. You might have a negative view about this drinking thing because you are associating it with the Sikhs in your circle.

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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #4 - November 24, 2012, 06:29 AM

I think teaching kids to drink responsibly should be something a parent should teach. Kids are still developing mentally in their teens and 20's and heavy alcohol use can affect that. The problem is that the legal drinking age at least in the USA is 21 so kids don't learn how to drink from their parents so, like sex, they go nuts outside a parent's view when it hasn't been taught. Teaching kids to enjoy alcohol's benefits, relaxed conversation, taste, quality, while avoiding binges, abuse, and dependence should be a high priority,

So once again I'm left with the classic Irish man's dilemma, do I eat the potato or do I let it ferment so I can drink it later?
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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #5 - November 24, 2012, 06:36 AM

Nothing wrong with getting a bit sloshed once in while with good company either though

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- mujahid
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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #6 - December 06, 2012, 01:46 PM

This was a big issue for me around my children as well. I come from an orthodox islamic background and still do think that the drinking culture in britain is a tragedy waiting to happen. With that said I do drink occassionally (once every 2-3 months) and get "sloshed" once in a while too. I just tell my children that its medicine from the doctor. And I also teach them that drinking isn't really a good thing because most people can't control it and drink every weekend.

I think because they don't really see me drink although I have wine in the house is a good thing. And at the same time I am open minded with them should they ever wish to talk about it.
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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #7 - December 06, 2012, 02:04 PM

Rather than making your kids fear or mistrust alcohol, why not lead by example and show them it's possible to have a glass of wine with supper or a couple of beers in front of the telly without turning into a Brit (ie. drunk, uncouth, pissing on or fornicating with lampposts)?
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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #8 - December 06, 2012, 02:42 PM

^ exactly

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Re: Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #9 - December 06, 2012, 03:40 PM

I think the best and most productive thing you can do for your kids is to be honest with them. Give them good information so that they can understand the risks and benefits of any choice and make the best decisions based on facts, not fear. Trying to scare them away from alcohol or sex will only backfire once they get older. Lying to them will only make you lose credibility in the future. Don’t put alcohol in the same category as crack cocaine, or put sex in the same category as child molestation or rape. Teach them that having a beer or two while watching a football game is not the same as downing a whole bottle of tequila before driving to work.
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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #10 - January 31, 2013, 09:11 PM

Teach your kids to drink responsible. I would never get tipsy in front of them, but drinking wine from time to time should be fine..

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- osmanthus
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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #11 - January 31, 2013, 09:24 PM

Yup. Also, one thing about booze of any sort is that being forbidden makes it interesting to kids. It's like telling them they can't open a packet of biscuits. They'll start wondering if the biscuits are tasty, and how they can get their hands on them when you're not looking.

If you're having a beer and a kid wants to know what beer tastes like, let them have a sip. They probably wont like it anyway. This is the sort of thing my parents used to do. Seems to have worked out fine.

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #12 - January 31, 2013, 10:09 PM

My parents allowed me to drink with them when I was little because that's their custom.
I remember them making drinks like Coquito and piña colada's fondly my father also let me drink beer from his can and I thought it was disgusting, lesson learned: beer tastes like shit and it's no big deal.

Being to strict with kids usually backfires because kids want to try anything that is forbidden, the allure of trying out alcohol can be very strong for teenagers who's parents have never allowed them a taste of alcohol so they try it behind the parents backs without any sort of control or understanding on what constitutes to much.
Teaching kids responsibility should begin early instead of dangling the carrot over their heads and telling them to wait till they reach 21, that's not teaching responsibility imo.
If you don't make a big deal out of consuming alcohol then your kids won't either, lead by example.

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #13 - February 02, 2013, 05:55 PM

Quote from: osmanthus on January 31, 2013, 09:24 PM

If you're having a beer and a kid wants to know what beer tastes like, let them have a sip. They probably wont like it anyway. This is the sort of thing my parents used to do. Seems to have worked out fine.

sounds like a good idea. but my concern would be aren't there any legal consequences of letting ur kids drink booze?

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #14 - February 02, 2013, 06:05 PM

Quote from: osmanthus on January 31, 2013, 09:24 PM
Yup. Also, one thing about booze of any sort is that being forbidden makes it interesting to kids. It's like telling them they can't open a packet of biscuits. They'll start wondering if the biscuits are tasty, and how they can get their hands on them when you're not looking.

If you're having a beer and a kid wants to know what beer tastes like, let them have a sip. They probably wont like it anyway. This is the sort of thing my parents used to do. Seems to have worked out fine.

This is what I have done.

Just for my middle son, it sort of backfired since he wasn't put off by the taste.

Also my eldest son is 14, on new years eve I allowed him to have one WKD, weak alcopop just before midnight. I see being less restrictive as being better for me in the long run. Plus it is actually not illegal for me to allow him that one drink. It is illegal for him to buy it or for a shop to serve him.

He isn't rushing out to get drunk, actually he's pretty sensible in general these days (hope it stays the same).

I didn't see it as a big deal really.

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #15 - February 02, 2013, 06:19 PM

^

So ur saying it's legal to let ur kids have like one drink as long as ur not buying booze specifically for them.

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #16 - February 02, 2013, 06:22 PM

I'm still slightly Muslim when it comes to alcohol; I still reckon the cons outweigh the pros. I can't imagine allowing my kids (if/when I have them) to drink at all, particularly not of they're anything under at least 16. I shudder thinking about how I'd deal with alcohol if/when I have my own household.
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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #17 - February 02, 2013, 06:23 PM

yep, in the UK at least, between the ages of 5-17 a kid can be given a drink by their parents at home.

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #18 - February 02, 2013, 06:29 PM

Quote from: Al-Alethia on February 02, 2013, 06:22 PM
I'm still slightly Muslim when it comes to alcohol; I still reckon the cons outweigh the pros. I can't imagine allowing my kids (if/when I have them) to drink at all, particularly not of they're anything under at least 16. I shudder thinking about how I'd deal with alcohol if/when I have my own household.

Theres only a bad side to alcohol if u used it like a dumbass.

Just remember to drink within limits and stay safe. Besides serving wine with dinner when guests come over is part of culture in Europe and North America so even if you don't like it yourself it's good to at least be familiar with it so you can act classy when the situation requires it.

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #19 - February 02, 2013, 06:35 PM

Quote from: Al-Alethia on February 02, 2013, 06:22 PM
I'm still slightly Muslim when it comes to alcohol; I still reckon the cons outweigh the pros. I can't imagine allowing my kids (if/when I have them) to drink at all, particularly not of they're anything under at least 16. I shudder thinking about how I'd deal with alcohol if/when I have my own household.

I see it more as they are going to anyway.

I was drinking at the age of 14, irregardless of the law or physical consequences. and I was drinking stupidly since the whole underage prohibition doesn't even give explanations of how to drink responsibly if you are going to drink, its just a flat out no.

Maybe, much like sex education is now about how to protect yourself if you do have underage sex, so too should alcohol rules.

My son had a WKD, the alcohol content is minimal, my son is around me when I drink and sees me stop before I reach a limit, and hears me talk about the right way to drink alcohol, the warnings of alcohol poisoning.

I dunno, my son comes to me now often for advice, tells me about people offering him drugs and tells me that he said no.

I think my openness makes it possible for him to learn in a better way than if I just flat out said no.

I think so though anyway lol.

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Drinking alcohol and kids
Reply #20 - February 02, 2013, 06:35 PM

I've never drank a kid before. Would a dash of bitters add to the recipe?

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