Drug dealers keen to highlight risk of singing careers
Following the tragic death of Whitney Houston, drug dealers to the stars have been quick to warn others of the dangers of a career spent using your vocal chords to eke out a living.
Carlos Indurain, a long time provider of class A drugs to large numbers of celebrities in the creative industries spoke of his shock at the news of Houston's death.
"Only last year we lost Amy Winehouse to singing, and now Whitney has left us too. We can only hope that young people will see these tragedies and choose to give singing a wide birth.
There is nothing wrong with paying for your drugs with a normal nine to five job, and in leaving singing, and the incredible risks associated with it, well alone.
We can only look to shows like X Factor and America's Got Talent for encouraging these impressionable young people to turn to such a dangerous career."
Indurain went on to explain that singing had taken the lives of dozens of young people over the years, and yet people still don't seem to be heeding the warnings.
He continued, "You only have to look through the history books to see how many young people have been taken from us prematurely because of their singing careers.
Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston are just the most recent victims of singing. This goes back decades to people like Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Elvis Presley; all people who could still be alive today if they hadn't turned to singing.
No matter how glamorous it sounds, don't touch the microphone, not even once. That's all it takes to get you hooked.
Steer clear of the stage and you could enjoy a long life of sustainable drug use, and here's my number by the way. Call me any time, I'll hook you up."
Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West.