hello! i need some help

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- aminaaa
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hello! i need some help
OP - January 15, 2012, 08:05 AM

i found this website after doing some searching around in google and i found that it's exactly what i was searching for. my name is amina, and i'm an only child in a muslim family. my family practices the religion quite well, my mom attempts to make me pray with her to get "extra credit", my mom wears the hijab, we fast in ramadan, go to mosque and we're involved in the muslim community, and i have the dress modestly compared to most girls(no hijab though).

however, over the last year and a half i've found myself losing faith in islam, and religion in general. the concept of god doesn't seem logical to me at all, and to me it just seems like he's this big dictator. i don't want to live the life that islam has planned out for me. i want to actually dorm in college, have more of a social life, and have relationships. i want to look back on my teenage/college years when i'm older and not feel like they were wasted like i feel right now. i don't want to be controlled by something that i don't believe in. but the obvious problem is is that it'd ruin my parent's lives and reputation, and i'm dreading the day that i'm planning to tell them(before i start applying to colleges). i love my parents, and they've been the best parents they can be to me and it honestly hurts to know that i'll be breaking their hearts in order to live the life i want to live. especially since i'm an only child, they don't deserve to feel like they've failed in raising me.

basically, i'm looking for some support, maybe someone else who's gone through the situation i'm going through now? i need courage and it's really hard for me to get that when all of this is bottled up inside me. on the surface i'm just a nice muslim girl, no one has any clue about my lack of belief which is an obvious factor of why this whole situation is so difficult for me. i'm sorry this is so long, for anyone who's actually read this thank you so much. i appreciate it
.
and just a quick sidenote, i am NOT doing this just for i can be some crazy teenager. i'm doing this because i don't want to be controlled by something that i don't believe in, and i need some support in order to do that.
- Dr_Zhivago
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #1 - January 15, 2012, 08:09 AM

and enjoy your stay
- Peppermint Tits
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #2 - January 15, 2012, 08:40 AM

Welcome.... well you've found your support group. A lot of us go through the same things.

Don't worry about parents too much. They are never 100% pleased with their offspring anyway.

Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in.
- Naerys
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #3 - January 15, 2012, 09:00 AM

Hello and welcome, Amina

He's no friend to the friendless
And he's the mother of grief
There's only sorrow for tomorrow
Surely life is too brief
- Azdaha ExMuslim
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #4 - January 15, 2012, 02:23 PM

welcome aminaa

Disbelief doesn't justify getting tortured in eternal hell
- Absurdist
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #5 - January 15, 2012, 04:19 PM

welcome!

we talked briefly on chat. sorry your first interaction with someone here had to be with a drunk guy. but that comes with the package here.
- serpentofeden
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #6 - January 15, 2012, 04:51 PM

welcome

and congratulations on realising the obvious
- Crunchy Cds
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #7 - January 15, 2012, 05:20 PM

Hi welcome :3 you'll find some good support here. :> Although we do have our token crazies on the the forum but pay them no mind.
I'd recommend you study Islam through and through, before you make your final decision so that, if you are sure you want to leave, they cannot accuse you of being ignorant. More often than not non-believers know more about their ex-faith than believers. That way they can't dance around you with mind games when they try to convince you to come back. You'd find some good videos, debates and resources here. :> Keep an open mind and enjoy your stay.

***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #8 - January 15, 2012, 05:42 PM

Welcome amina. Have a bunny:

Quote from: aminaaa on January 15, 2012, 08:05 AM
basically, i'm looking for some support, maybe someone else who's gone through the situation i'm going through now? i need courage and it's really hard for me to get that when all of this is bottled up inside me. on the surface i'm just a nice muslim girl, no one has any clue about my lack of belief which is an obvious factor of why this whole situation is so difficult for me. i'm sorry this is so long, for anyone who's actually read this thank you so much. i appreciate it

Check out both the Advice Corner and Ex-Muslim Blogs and Bios and you will find people who can relate to what you're going through.

fuck you
- nesrin
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #9 - January 15, 2012, 05:54 PM

hi and welcome

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9vdUjuWxc
- aminaaa
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #10 - January 15, 2012, 06:13 PM

thank you all for the welcomes!
- yeezevee
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #11 - January 15, 2012, 06:26 PM

Quote from: aminaaa on January 15, 2012, 08:05 AM
..................................
.
and just a quick sidenote, i am NOT doing this just for i can be some crazy teenager. i'm doing this because i don't want to be controlled by something that i don't believe in, and i need some support in order to do that.

aminaaa .. you are so thoughtful & analytical in your ist post, no one in CEMB will consider you as crazy teenager..

So what do you do?? what college are you in?? If you need some freedom.. the first thing is financial independence and for that you need to work., The other thing you got to learn to question the faith without hurting your near & dear ., why trouble parents when you are fully depended on them?? ..

any please write and read CEMB., I am sure in time folks here will give you plenty of suggestions..

with best wishes and happy new year
yeezevee

Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything
I renounced my faith to become a kafir,
the beloved betrayed me and turned in to a Muslim
- aminaaa
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #12 - January 16, 2012, 02:07 AM

thank you yeezevee and how i'm going to live a life of my own and my parents are the main things i'm trying to deal with lol, however i have about a year and a half to figure that out. assuming worst case scenario that my parents will give me absolutely no support and i get no scholarship of any kind, i'm planning to go to the community college and move into an apartment. i can get a job this summer when i get my license, and start saving up money from there. but that's still a long time from now, my plan is subject to change
- Solara
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #13 - January 16, 2012, 04:45 AM

Hi! Welcome! I myself have had a lot of family problems, so I can totally understand how you're feeling. You should be able to find plenty of support here. Make yourself at home!

Life is what happens to you while you're staring at your smartphone.

Eternal Sunshine of the Religionless Mind
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #14 - January 16, 2012, 04:52 AM

Welcome to the forums aminaaa, have a rabbit!

I think you'll find what you're looking for in this place, and I hope you'll enjoy all this forum has to offer.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
- Sir Wankalot
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #15 - January 16, 2012, 08:33 AM

Hello aminaaa! I'm sure you'll find CEMB a great place to vent and find support from like minded people. There are many young folk your age here that have similar concerns and issues.

Do you know if it is possible to keep a low profile on your disbelief until you are able to finish college and get a job?
- aminaaa
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #16 - January 16, 2012, 04:11 PM

Quote from: Sir Wankalot on January 16, 2012, 08:33 AM
Hello aminaaa! I'm sure you'll find CEMB a great place to vent and find support from like minded people. There are many young folk your age here that have similar concerns and issues.

Do you know if it is possible to keep a low profile on your disbelief until you are able to finish college and get a job?

that definitely won't be possible at all, because generally in my family, the college-goers stay home and drive to college everyday. when my relatives find out i'm not living at home my freshman year of college, then the word will be out. if my plan stays solid, then it'll be a secret from everyone but me and my parents for about a year during my senior year(which is still a year and a half away)
- Colonel Q-Daffi
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #17 - January 16, 2012, 05:24 PM

Get into Harvard. Then they can't say no to you moving away.

fuck you
- Jinn and Tonic
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #18 - January 16, 2012, 06:39 PM

A warm welcome, aminaaa!

you will definitely find like minded folks here in the exact same
situation. As for the rest of us, we will support you the best we
can. Just know, you are NOT alone!

Have a welcome Jinn on me!

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
Helen Keller
- aminaaa
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #19 - January 17, 2012, 01:52 AM

Quote from: Colonel Q-Daffi on January 16, 2012, 05:24 PM
Get into Harvard. Then they can't say no to you moving away.

fantastic idea, will do! and jinn, my parents used the stories of the jinn to terrify me whenever i misbehaved as a little girl, pls don't mention them :(
- Clubs
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #20 - January 17, 2012, 09:11 AM

Hi aminaa, and welcome to CEMB, have a
- BrownAdder
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #21 - January 17, 2012, 09:56 AM

Hi Amina and welcome.

Just carry on your studies.. that's the most important thing there is for you. As for faith, well once you lose it in your heart its only a matter of time when you lose it in practice as well... no need to come out against your family just yet if that's going to decrease your chances for uni...

You must go to uni... and surely you will graduate and get a nicer job and would be in a better position to move out...
- Hallakuf
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #22 - January 17, 2012, 09:59 AM

Hi, welcome and have a good time here. Don't worry, you will be fine in the end. Most of us are fond of bacon, so have a welcome

Religion is organized superstition
- aminaaa
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #23 - January 17, 2012, 10:14 PM

[/quote]
Quote from: BrownAdder on January 17, 2012, 09:56 AM
Hi Amina and welcome.

Just carry on your studies.. that's the most important thing there is for you. As for faith, well once you lose it in your heart its only a matter of time when you lose it in practice as well... no need to come out against your family just yet if that's going to decrease your chances for uni...

You must go to uni... and surely you will graduate and get a nicer job and would be in a better position to move out...

brownadder, i've been thinking about my options more and more and i actually do agree with you. the job i want to be in(at the moment) requires 8-12 years of schooling so i now do agree with going through my education > gaining freedom, but i still do want to see if i can have both first. if my parents won't pay for a college that i have to dorm at, then i can move on and wait a couple of years until i can live on my own and be educated. my plan changes more and more everyday lol, we'll see how it plays out.

and also to everyone i haven't acknowledged thanks for the welcomes!
- shah137
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #24 - January 19, 2012, 02:57 PM

Welcome! I somehow have a relation to your situation because I myself have not drawn myself to the possibility of letting my parents know that I don't believe. Anyways here is some bacon !

"Children of Abel, Children of Cain
Can live in harmony, without shame
The keys that I grant thee, The Sacred Land
Are dry desert sand on the palm of your hand
Without the water, the wisdom of past
Will run through your fingers, forgotten so fast"
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #25 - January 19, 2012, 05:12 PM

Welcome, also a read up about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, pirates and global warming!

It sounds like you are in the US. I can't get my head around what sounds like a classic muslim community in the US!

I thought the whole point of America was that everyone moved everywhere! What do you want to do? I recommend applying to the best unis as well - why not Europe or Canada?

Have not any of your relatives already done this, so you can point at a precedent. They have moved from somewhere else. What is the problem with moving on again?

What were your parents' dreams? My mum wanted to go to California, my brother did it and therefore she did.

why do people take their baggage with them from their old lives? I thought the people who moved actually had some get up and go and would want their children to go further!

What do you want to become?

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #26 - January 19, 2012, 07:25 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCbOEZ8c8dM

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #27 - February 22, 2012, 10:48 PM

Welcome to the forum

"I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

"No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #28 - February 23, 2012, 12:04 AM

Welcome, aminaaa.
Though you actually registered before me, I didn't noticed that I at first.
Have you considered trying to study abroad ? That could be a nice solution, but maybe more costly, and it depends if you would enjoy being in a foreign country or not.
- DriscoMac
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Re: hello! i need some help
Reply #29 - March 02, 2012, 07:02 PM

Hi Amina,

I understand your plight and have empathy for your situation. I am an ex-muslim who went back to my original faith, after studying the scriptures. I embraced Islam young and was influnenced by muslims at school at a young age, all the way to college. The only reason i embraced it, was i was weak in my original faith. Looking back now...I was told a pack of lies and falacies. I took the time to study scripture in the bible and all the biblical prophecies that are coming to, and in the process with all the current events in the world. I would urge you to study the the bible, and look into the teachings of Jesus, which the Quran lacks, and i beleive it lacks so much other evidences and has no real answers. There are many like me, who have left Islam, but accepted it under false pretencies.

God bless you and keep you.
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