So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....

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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #30 - January 23, 2012, 04:39 AM

Quote from: magic999 on December 24, 2011, 10:08 PM
....I then said its written in the quran that anyone that isn't a muslim goes to hell, he then asked me to show him where it says that and because I (stupidly) didn't do my research I couldn't prove him wrong.

But I guess one good thing that came out of it is it makes my 'coming out' process alot easier.

LMAO I'm reading the Quran right now, for the first time and it says so at least 5 times in the first 30 pages. That hell is for non-believers. And people who don't submit. Hell is mentioned so many times it's sick.

***~Church is where bad people go to hide~***
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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #31 - January 23, 2012, 09:46 PM

Quote from: Eternity on January 01, 2012, 05:56 AM
Wish I could do that. I'd be beaten to death if not by my father my overly religious brothers AND sisters.

Same boat. There are more than two people in my family that have a monopoly on my life/religion which makes the coming out difficult. <- i'm not marginalising coming out to two parents, still a tough situation.

Can you live with the 'Muslim façade' in order to make your parents emotional stress lighter or do you want to break free from the Muslim label...

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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #32 - January 23, 2012, 09:52 PM

Quote from: moi on January 01, 2012, 11:21 AM
Would someone explain this? It is basically weird.

It is as if a huge section of the population are basically puppets on strings dancing to other people's tunes.

The East German Stasi and Russian secret police did not have these levels of social control!

What do you expect someone to do? Just walk out without financial security or support? It's completely implausible! I myself being in a similar situation can tell you that coming out would be hard but for now there is no immediate danger (unless i decide to go on a bender!).

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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #33 - January 24, 2012, 10:43 PM

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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #34 - January 24, 2012, 10:51 PM

Quote from: shah137 on December 28, 2011, 02:26 PM
In religion,
"Everyone says different things, But they are convinced that they are the ones to see."
- I Want Out by Helloween

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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #35 - January 28, 2012, 04:16 AM

Quote from: TheDarkRebel on January 01, 2012, 06:21 PM
Do you think you could try moving out of the house first so your brothers couldn't harm you ? And just threaten to call the police if your brothers threaten you.

I would if I had any option to get out and be safe. I don't though any friends I have wouldn't harbor me rather be disgusted that I don't believe in god.

Quote from: unforcastdstrm on January 23, 2012, 09:46 PM
Same boat. There are more than two people in my family that have a monopoly on my life/religion which makes the coming out difficult. <- i'm not marginalising coming out to two parents, still a tough situation.

Can you live with the 'Muslim façade' in order to make your parents emotional stress lighter or do you want to break free from the Muslim label...

I don't care about telling them I more would prefer if I could simply move out and never see them again. I'm sure if I tell them it'll just make them disown me and as much as I care I don't want them to be ridiculed by other families because of me....oh the irony.
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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #36 - January 29, 2012, 11:51 AM

Quote
Would someone explain this? It is basically weird.

It is as if a huge section of the population are basically puppets on strings dancing to other people's tunes.

The East German Stasi and Russian secret police did not have these levels of social control!

Quote from: unforcastdstrm on January 23, 2012, 09:52 PM
What do you expect someone to do? Just walk out without financial security or support? It's completely implausible! I myself being in a similar situation can tell you that coming out would be hard but for now there is no immediate danger (unless i decide to go on a bender!).

I am not suggesting an individual response of coming out. I am suggesting looking at why the social control systems are so powerful. Individuals putting their heads above the trench wall will be shot and if not killed seriously wounded.

There are programmes on now about the huge tunnelling and under mining operations that happened in WW1.

I do not know what the ways to achieve change are are but individuals risking all is not a sensible way.

http://suntzusaid.com/

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

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"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #37 - February 28, 2012, 03:02 AM

Quote from: -Tmp- on December 28, 2011, 06:10 PM
I'm financially stable and still can't ever come out to my parents because it will emotionally hurt them. I don't see any positive effects to coming out. I think it's better for them to think I'm a non-practicing Muslim instead.

Heh, my problem is my parents are so dramatic that when I'm openly (like really openly, more than just my "non-religious" phase right now) a "non-practicing Muslim" they will hate that so much that they will treat it as if I'm not a Muslim at all - that I've become a kafir.

I mean, think about it. It can come out that I drink alcohol occasionally to them (something that's mostly associated with non-muslims). That I live with a boyfriend. That I may choose to marry a non-muslim (but still consider myself a Muslim). It doesn't matter - all these things to them are non-muslim characteristics so they will automatically assume I am not Muslim anymore.

I've pretty much realized, when I thought about this soon after I realized I'm an atheist, that there's no way around not telling my family. I have to eventually.... the truth will come out, and hopefully, we can all move on.

Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in.
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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #38 - February 28, 2012, 04:43 AM

Quote from: Peppermint Tits on February 28, 2012, 03:02 AM
Heh, my problem is my parents are so dramatic that when I'm openly (like really openly, more than just my "non-religious" phase right now) a "non-practicing Muslim" they will hate that so much that they will treat it as if I'm not a Muslim at all - that I've become a kafir.

I mean, think about it. It can come out that I drink alcohol occasionally to them (something that's mostly associated with non-muslims). That I live with a boyfriend. That I may choose to marry a non-muslim (but still consider myself a Muslim). It doesn't matter - all these things to them are non-muslim characteristics so they will automatically assume I am not Muslim anymore.

I've pretty much realized, when I thought about this soon after I realized I'm an atheist, that there's no way around not telling my family. I have to eventually.... the truth will come out, and hopefully, we can all move on.

I came to this realization as well, no matter what I can't just continue pretending. I don't drink alcohol nor do I have a girlfriend but I think it's better to admit to parents. Maybe this will also plant a seed of doubt in my siblings. But I'll only do this once I've left the house and moved somewhere else.
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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #39 - February 28, 2012, 03:45 PM

This feels so much like World War One trench warfare it is ridiculous. People are getting shot for putting their heads above the parapet.

This is not good strategy - the attrition rates and damage caused are crazy. There must be another way. Do not the parents read? I'm sorry, the incidents described above, if happening to children, are clear safeguarding failures and would mean the parent's end up in court.

It isn't just honour killings is it? It is a complete network of violence, bullying and intimidation.

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

A.A. Milne,

"We cannot slaughter each other out of the human impasse"
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Re: So I asked my dad one of those awkward questions....
Reply #40 - November 11, 2012, 03:42 PM

Quote
It isn't just honour killings is it? It is a complete network of violence, bullying and intimidation.

This.
Quote from: ZooBear
- Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.
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