I lost a friend today. It’s weird, on some level I knew it was going to happen, but on another I didn’t really know what he was going through. Ultimately, he was the only person who knew what was going through his head. He was a very intelligent guy, a guy whose intelligence drove him over the edge. The maddening intelligence, with the mind that just spins out of control. Life was hard on him. Life is fucking hard; it’s a struggle. Some people can’t go through with it. It’s an absurd existence. Many of us have been there: when we lose all purpose in life, when we lose all motivation and ask ourselves why to even bother getting out of bed, because what’s the point of it all?
But why do we isolate ourselves and look for meaning above us? Why don’t we look for meaning around us, within us?
Finitude gives things value. You can either ask why you don’t have more, or you can cherish absolutely what you have. When confronted with a finite life, the logical thing to do is to give it infinite value. A meaningful life is one that has its own, intrinsic value. If you’ve lost meaning in your life, find something that fills it with meaning. Your life is yours. If you’re not happy with your job, quit it. If you don’t like your study program, change it. If you want to escape, run away and never look back.
Experience every moment with all the intensity in the universe, express yourself unabashedly, surround yourself with people you love, people you get a rush of joy by just being with, people who make you feel connected – to them, and to the very Being of existence.
These words are hard to live by, I know. It’s not easy finding people you really love, or a job you are really passionate about. It’s not easy expressing yourself when we’re socialized to be alienated.
Life is not easy, but we really need to enjoy the process, the struggles, the challenges. It’s like hiking up a mountain. The longer the hike, the steeper it is, the more accomplished you feel. And on the way, you can take time to enjoy the scenery, snap some photos, and breathe in the air. When you reach the top, you look down and exclaim at how far you’ve gone, then marvel at all the beautiful moments you've captured. But what is the purpose of the hike? Only to enjoy it, to feel accomplished. It has no meaning outside of itself, no promise of wealth, no eternal reward.
You've grown. Thank you for putting to words something I've been really feeling myself lately.
That passion for life, to fill it, to find joy and meaning and substance and follow your heart or gut or whatever you want to call it. Yes. That. Thank you for penning that.