Assalamualaikum

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- 7amzah
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Assalamualaikum
OP - July 30, 2011, 03:47 PM

I was born and raised in Pakistan and moved to Canada with my family in my mid-teens.
I am not exactly sure when I lost my faith in god. I've always had doubts and questions about the nature of god. Even as a child I didn't think god, if one existed, was very fair to humanity. However, I performed as many mental back-flips as I could to cast away my doubts. Why can't he just show himself? Why doesn't he just feed and clothe them? What does it mean to have no beginning and no end? Why does hell need to be forever? I used to pray frequently between the ages of 8 and 10. Then at 15 I started praying 5 times a day. I would have to say most of my prayers were half-hearted, but there were many exceptions. There were times where I prayed for hours and wept as I did so, even though I can't say I was ever fully convinced that there was a god looking out for me.
I think the main reason why I kept on practicing and hoping god was there was because this belief bought me a lot of comfort. The idea that the controller of everything would ultimately take care of me not matter what happened. But now in my late 20's I see that even if this god is there he is not very good at caring for people and is exceedingly difficult to please in any case.
To be honest though, I still wish I could ignore all the logical fallacies and all the evidence and just go back to being a good muslim man. But that wouldn't be enough for god would it. I don't know how to not fast this coming ramadan because I am so used to it. I know I will feel guilty if I don't because I am so programmed. But I also know fasting is not good for my health... my physical health anyway. I guess I'll have to just wait an see what happens, unless anyone has any advice.
One last thing that I wanted to share with everyone is that according to some people's standard I am not really even an ex-muslim, because I never really believed in god 100%, without any doubts. On the other hand, I am fairly certain no one really has such strong faith in god even though they might claim to.
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #1 - July 30, 2011, 03:55 PM

Welcome 7amzah (Humzah right?) I'm still learning Arabic but I think that's what the 7 stands for.

At first when I read the title thread thought you were a muslim member, which is quite stereotypical of me, but can you blame me? Hope you enjoy your stay. Even I find it so alien not to fast during Ramadan, not haivng that desire to be a better Muslimah, for a month .. Ahh religion
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #2 - July 30, 2011, 04:03 PM

Welcome Hamzah, you will find many of us here who can totally relate to what you've been through as well as what you're going through at the moment, have a nosey around the forums, you'll find some very interesting characters on here... as well as interesting topics of discussion.

I make it rain - apparently?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh_I19_mKkU&list=SP1665576E7498BAB7&index=2&feature=plcp
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #3 - July 30, 2011, 04:05 PM

A very warm welcome, 7amzah!

Reading your intro, I see so many things which I felt and asked the
very same things. Especially the "back flips" part!

Actually, some of us were VERY faithful, and served every moment
of our waking time. The idea of there NOT being a big sky daddy was
in fact VERY troubling and traumatizing. Like having to go through
the five stages of grief. That suddenly, noone was there that had been
that "comfort" like a rug pulled out from under your feet.

Honestly, sweetheart, it doesnt matter if you were or weren't a muslim.
What matters is the truth, and the brave souls seeking such truth.

I hope you find comfort and solace here, and the answers to your
questions. Just know you are NOT alone, and we havent all gone over
to worshipping shaytan He doesnt exist either! LOL

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #4 - July 30, 2011, 04:06 PM

Welcome 7amzah, and you deserve a parrot . I'm sure you will get used to not doing all those hundreds of things you had to when you were still a Muslim. It may take some time. Did you tell your friend and/ or parents already, or do you choose just to end being a Muslim?

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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #5 - July 30, 2011, 04:22 PM

Welcome 7amzah! Here's our welcome gift for ya

Quote
To be honest though, I still wish I could ignore all the logical fallacies and all the evidence and just go back to being a good muslim man. But that wouldn't be enough for god would it. I don't know how to not fast this coming ramadan because I am so used to it. I know I will feel guilty if I don't because I am so programmed. But I also know fasting is not good for my health... my physical health anyway. I guess I'll have to just wait an see what happens, unless anyone has any advice.

Actually if you feel like it, you may fast 7amzah.. You're free to do whatever you want to. It's not that advisable, but if you feel like it, sure, why not.

Though I'd love to know, what really do you miss about being muslim?

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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #6 - July 30, 2011, 04:25 PM

Welcome Hamzah, glad to have you! I think plenty of people here can relate to wanting to hang onto Islam/monotheism by beating away the doubt with a baseball bat for sake of comfort. I'm sure you'll find a state of mind in which you are both comfortable and in a place of sincerity and honesty with yourself. That's my wish for you. Until then and hopefully well after that, I hope you enjoy your stay here.  

"I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #7 - July 30, 2011, 04:33 PM

Welcome to the forum, Hamzah( the name of Mo's uncle)

"I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

"No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #8 - July 30, 2011, 05:32 PM

Quote from: crazyislam on July 30, 2011, 04:22 PM

Though I'd love to know, what really do you miss about being muslim?

Well mostly just the feeling of comfort that comes with the belief in a god who is there to take care of you. A god who will reunite you with loved ones after your death. Other than that I don't really miss anything. Most rituals are just chores, wastes of time and resources.

Quote from: Hallakuf on July 30, 2011, 04:06 PM
Welcome 7amzah, and you deserve a parrot . I'm sure you will get used to not doing all those hundreds of things you had to when you were still a Muslim. It may take some time. Did you tell your friend and/ or parents already, or do you choose just to end being a Muslim?

I haven't told anyone. I don't think I will any time soon. I've just stopped being a muslim.
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #9 - July 30, 2011, 05:44 PM

Quote from: 7amzah on July 30, 2011, 05:32 PM
Well mostly just the feeling of comfort that comes with the belief in a god who is there to take care of you. A god who will reunite you with loved ones after your death. Other than that I don't really miss anything. Most rituals are just chores, wastes of time and resources.

Well, since it's hard to find anything that allah won't sent you to hell for, I doubt why you'd believe that you'll certainly end up in heaven? Except for the fact that concept of heaven and hell is self contradictory and absurd, obviously

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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #10 - July 30, 2011, 09:06 PM

Quote
I know I will feel guilty if I don't because I am so programmed.

Thanks for sharing your story.

In my personal experience a belief in Islam is a mega-belief - a belief supported by a number of other beliefs.

The more knowledge you acquire, the more the programming breaks down. This video provides the best presentation of how a belief in religion is either strengthened or weakened. Maybe you can use it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12rP8ybp13s

An alternative to religion;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2nfXfTg92E

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWNW-NXEudk
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #11 - July 30, 2011, 10:14 PM

Welcome 7amzah!

Here is another parrot for you!

Do you still live with your parents? If so, how are you planning on not fasting? Do your parents know about your apostasy?

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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #12 - July 30, 2011, 10:35 PM

I don't live with my parents. I don't want my parents to know I no longer believe. It's going to be pretty easy to pretend-fast for me whenever I am around them or around other muslims.
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #13 - July 30, 2011, 10:47 PM

Thats great.. Where in Canada are you living?

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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #14 - July 30, 2011, 10:58 PM

GTA..
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #15 - July 30, 2011, 11:20 PM

Cool.. I lived there off and on for about 4 years..

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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #16 - July 31, 2011, 05:03 AM

Welcome to the forums 7amzah, have a rabbit!

This is also going to be one of my first years that I won't fast at all, not even for show. Good luck, and have fun here!

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #17 - August 03, 2011, 07:43 PM

Hey welcome to the crew 7amzah!

Please DON'T feel guilty for not fasting. It can't be beneficial to your health. What possible reason could it be considered good, if you are only gonna stuff your face at nightfall. Ther's no-one up there to check you are observing the fast. If you really DO feel guilty (within yourself), why not just give something up for a month (like Xtians are SUPPOSED to do) like chocolate or sweets or beer (or Crack if you are into that kind of thing! I hope not)

You may have to hide it from your family/friends if they feel strongly about it, but just nip off to the bathroom for a sneaky donut or 10!

Right now in UK we have looong summer days and my muslim friend and family are going without food and water for over 12 hours each day. My friend was even 'proud' that his wife hadnt drunk or eaten anything ALL DAY!! I couldnt bring myself to 'congratulate' them all on their feat, but I couldnt criticise him either cos its Ramadan at the moment, but I did tell him not to take it too far, which was a thinly veiled hint that I found it daft. Dont know if he got it though.

If it comes up again I will ask 'difficult questions'.

Anyway Have fun on the site my friend!!

I am better than your god......and so are you.

"Is the man who buys a magic rock, really more gullible than the man who buys an invisible magic rock?.......,...... At least the first guy has a rock!"
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #18 - August 03, 2011, 07:47 PM

"Welcome to the forums 7amzah, have a rabbit!"

You gave ME a rabbit the other day, now you are giving 7amzah a rabbit. I am suddenly not feeling so "Special" :-(

Where are you getting all these rabbits from?......Hold on a minute, I know what rabbits are good at (nudge nudge, wink wink)

That's right.......

....EATING LETTUCE!!!!!

:-))

I am better than your god......and so are you.

"Is the man who buys a magic rock, really more gullible than the man who buys an invisible magic rock?.......,...... At least the first guy has a rock!"
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #19 - August 03, 2011, 08:29 PM

Hey Adey, don't knock the rabbits.

I work very hard to take care of them and make sure they're properly looked after...

Who am I kidding, I started off with two and now I can't get rid of the damn buggers fast enough. They're eating me out of house and home.

Quote from: yeezevee on February 11, 2016, 02:05 PM
how fuck works without shit??

Let's Play Chess!

harakaat, friend, RIP
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #20 - August 04, 2011, 07:50 PM

hello
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #21 - August 06, 2011, 12:13 AM

Quote
To be honest though, I still wish I could ignore all the logical fallacies and all the evidence and just go back to being a good muslim man. But that wouldn't be enough for god would it. I don't know how to not fast this coming ramadan because I am so used to it. I know I will feel guilty if I don't because I am so programmed. But I also know fasting is not good for my health... my physical health anyway. I guess I'll have to just wait an see what happens, unless anyone has any advice

I can relate with that, i dont think there is any need for you to worry about, you will get use to it. Its just a matter of time. Feel free here and stick around further, if you face any particular problem, you can come and share with us. Im sure you will find some members here that will be of great help. to you.

Once again, Welcome to the Forum.

"I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

"No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #22 - August 06, 2011, 12:45 AM

Hamzah Welcome Brother in non islam!!!

I too moved to canada in my teens and lost my faith here. I was also a very lazy follower in my muslim days.

Do not feel bad for not fasting man! Days in the GTA are long! Ive lived there for 10 years. Especially now with the heat and what not its brutal. Plus as mentioned before in the thread its bad for your health.

you said u dont live with ur parents then just chill dude. I live away from home too and dont fast anymore.

good to have u on board, looking forward to hearing more from you.

Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #23 - August 06, 2011, 04:17 PM

I am sorry for knocking the rabbits. I wll repent.

Now Lettuce Pray!!

I am better than your god......and so are you.

"Is the man who buys a magic rock, really more gullible than the man who buys an invisible magic rock?.......,...... At least the first guy has a rock!"
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Re: Assalamualaikum
Reply #24 - August 06, 2011, 04:23 PM

lol cute.. lettuce pray

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
Helen Keller
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