Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...

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- abus11351
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Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
OP - June 13, 2011, 05:25 PM

I need some advice on how to leave Islam with the least possible risk to myself.

My situation is that I'm an American convert to Islam living, well established in, Saudi Arabia.

I've been a devout Muslim since my conversion 8 years ago, but I've gradually become disenchanted with my religion.

I wear a thobe, have a full, long beard and even lead the salat every day at my office. :/ My wife is a VERY devout Muslim, we have one child together.

Basically, it would not go over well for me at all and could potentially be very risky.

Looking for any thoughts or suggestions from you all.

Thanks.
- Shahid Raza
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #1 - June 13, 2011, 05:46 PM

Welcome. Whatever you do, do not leave Islam whilst you're in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia because the Nabi Muhammad Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam said "Whoever changes his religion, kill him".

What are the chances of you moving back to America and settling?

.
- mighty_cats
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #2 - June 13, 2011, 05:53 PM

That is quite a problematic situation.
The reality is that you really are in one of the worst countries for apostacy and with your wife being a devout muslim, that will also be a significant problem.

The only advice I could give you is to attempt to move to a neutral country and hopefully over time your wife will gradually tone down her beliefs, making your actual perspective less of a deal.
- Hallakuf
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #3 - June 13, 2011, 05:53 PM

Welcome! As long as you are living in Saudi-Arabia, don't tell anybody! Just do what you have to do to prevent others to think you might be an ex-Muslim. Try to go back to the US or any Western country, and then think what's next for you to do... I wish you wisdom and success!

Religion is organized superstition
- abus11351
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #4 - June 13, 2011, 05:55 PM

I could move back, but it be the equivalent of going into the Witness Relocation Program.

I would have to divorce my wife, and move to a place where nobody from my US hometown would likely come into contact with me.

Long story.
- abus11351
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #5 - June 13, 2011, 05:56 PM

Quote from: mighty_cats on June 13, 2011, 05:53 PM
That is quite a problematic situation.
The reality is that you really are in one of the worst countries for apostacy and with your wife being a devout muslim, that will also be a significant problem.

The only advice I could give you is to attempt to move to a neutral country and hopefully over time your wife will gradually tone down her beliefs, making your actual perspective less of a deal.

I was kind fo pushed into the marriage. I love my wife a lot, but I think I might be gay.

A lot of confusing stuff going on for me right now . :/
- abus11351
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #6 - June 13, 2011, 05:57 PM

Quote from: Hallakuf on June 13, 2011, 05:53 PM
Welcome! As long as you are living in Saudi-Arabia, don't tell anybody! Just do what you have to do to prevent others to think you might be an ex-Muslim. Try to go back to the US or any Western country, and then think what's next for you to do... I wish you wisdom and success!

That's the difficult part. I have always been wearing a thobe, I have a full length beard and I lead the prayers at my work place. I can't exactly ease my way out of the situation.
- Shahid Raza
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #7 - June 13, 2011, 06:05 PM

Quote from: abus11351 on June 13, 2011, 05:56 PM
I love my wife a lot, but I think I might be gay.

Well that certainly throws a spanner in the works. It's not advisable to pursue another relationship, whether it's with a man or a woman, whilst you're still married. It's just not fair on your wife. If you are most certainly gay then this is grounds for divorce. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

.
- abus11351
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #8 - June 13, 2011, 06:08 PM

You're right. And I wouldn't do that to her.
- harakaat
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #9 - June 13, 2011, 06:15 PM

I would take the first flight back to America and divorce her if I felt I didn't love her anymore. Neither is it fair for her to be in a loveless marriage with a closet apostate nor for me to be in a loveless marriage with a person I'm not attracted to and whose lifestyle vastly diverges from my own. Then again, that's just me. You know your situation better than all of us.

You just need to remember one thing. There are many who are going through the same thing and all of us here sympathize with you and will do our utmost to help you in any way possible.

قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
- Zaiba
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #10 - June 13, 2011, 06:25 PM

With what i said on the chat, as well as Lara's advice you should be on the road to freedom.

We're all here for you. Just be extra cautious with everything non islamic you do ie. browsing this site. Is it safe for you to visit here?

It's definitely a great idea for you to move to a secular country, or atleast liberal enough, you've heard all of this before, but it's worth a mention. Also when you're assured you are most definitely gay, and not in a confused place anymore, divorce your wife swiftly, it'll be difficult and hurt you to leave your son, (although you can get joint custody) the longer you leave it the harder it'll be, too much attachment and aesthetics make it difficult to do the right thing.

I geniunely hope things start to look up for you, from now on.

here's your customary parrot
- ateapotist
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #11 - June 13, 2011, 07:22 PM

W00t! Is this for real?? If it is, then welcome to the forum. I hope you are not a troll pulling our leg.

"Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." -- Bertrand Russell

Baloney Detection Kit
- abus11351
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #12 - June 14, 2011, 08:40 AM

Zaiba: Thanks for the advice (and the parrot)

ateapotist: I assure you I'm pulling no one's leg, this is my real situation.
- Naerys
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #13 - June 14, 2011, 08:42 AM

^ Hope so too, teapot. Time will tell, though.

Anywho, if you are for real, good luck, and make sure you are using a proxy when logging in this forum.

He's no friend to the friendless
And he's the mother of grief
There's only sorrow for tomorrow
Surely life is too brief
- abus11351
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #14 - June 14, 2011, 09:11 AM

Quote from: Lara91 on June 13, 2011, 06:07 PM
welcome
hmm I think you should do it gradually... stop leading the prayers (say you're sick, tired or something, just find excuses) .. start hanging out with liberal muslims, your wife too, get cable tv so that she can watch a lot of western tv, trust me after a while it will manipulate her to your advantage.
you dont have to announce your apostacy, just take it slowly, trim your beard , change your wardrobe little after little.
living like a liberal is a lot like living as an atheist, no one has to know, just change your environment a bit.

Lara91, I need to point out that I'm not an apostate, just currently having some major doubts about things.

I "jokingly" mentioned getting cable TV once and my wife flipped out on me. I doubt that will happen.
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #15 - June 14, 2011, 10:24 AM

Dear abus,
You said you were "just" having doubts, that you aren't sure whether to stay or to leave.. But wait ! You lost me there; I honestly do NOT think one can just "think" or "consider" leaving Islam. There is absolutely NO room for doubt in Islam:
Allah said it, Muhammad confirms it, that settles it! It's about obedience,- there's no point in looking for logic in the myriad of illogical rituals and absurd beliefs, because even if there is absolutely NO logic you still ought to be obedient "because Allah said so, he's testing who's obedient and who is not".

So I am afraid many Muslims would already consider you an apostate.

I shouldn't be here. Really. Shaytan SWT deluded ALL of us. Amen.
- Jayppps
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Re: Thinking of leaving Islam; scared, confused...
Reply #16 - June 14, 2011, 04:24 PM

Quote from: abus11351 on June 13, 2011, 05:55 PM
I could move back, but it be the equivalent of going into the Witness Relocation Program.

I would have to divorce my wife, and move to a place where nobody from my US hometown would likely come into contact with me.

Long story.

Freedom isn't cheap brother. People who have left Islam here have lost friends and loved ones in the process. It is one the hardest thing about leaving. One way or another if you want to ever free your mind and soul you will lose people. Over time things get better and you will never look back.

I'm not saying you should leave everything and say 'f### it'. Don't do anything you are not comfortable with. Good luck
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