With what i said on the chat, as well as Lara's advice you should be on the road to freedom.
We're all here for you. Just be extra cautious with everything non islamic you do ie. browsing this site. Is it safe for you to visit here?
It's definitely a great idea for you to move to a secular country, or atleast liberal enough, you've heard all of this before, but it's worth a mention. Also when you're assured you are most definitely gay, and not in a confused place anymore, divorce your wife swiftly, it'll be difficult and hurt you to leave your son, (although you can get joint custody) the longer you leave it the harder it'll be, too much attachment and aesthetics make it difficult to do the right thing.
I geniunely hope things start to look up for you, from now on.
here's your customary parrot