This joint is overrun with a gang of recovering head scrapers and five times a day bottom-sniffers, but you are an exotic bird. A mysterious bird. On the endangered species list. You catch my eye like a woman in the night. The only chocolate face to dip his head in the Ganges and emerge uncontaminated, a polytheist, an idolater, a Brahman whooper. Not many of those around here.
I don't consider themselves polytheists nor an idolators. But Hindus do not fly into rage if you do. Nevertheless, I am proud to be called polytheist.
The difference in perception is due to the linguistic misunderstanding. The English language has the same word for God and gods. But in Indian languages there is Ishwar (God) and there are devtas (gods) There are many devtas (deities) but there is only One Ishwar (God) The words devta and deities are etymologically related, which is evident from the similarities of the pronunciations and spelling.
One God manifests Himself through infinite number of deities. One worships God directly or indirectly. Each deity represents some unique aspect of God. For example, Hanuman represents loyalty and courage. Ganesha represents auspiciousness. Sarswati Devi represents creative arts while Lakshmi Devi represents wealth, etc.
We had a brother here called Logical Mind who was a Hindu, but the poor fish was run out of town by Allat the overweight goat. I salute you for standing firm in a sea of godless filth. But you need to brace yourself now for my heretical questions about the creed with the hundred gods with the hundred tits. Are you ready for the barrage my sweet? Let’s play.
(1) The cow worshippers are very big on reincarnation. That being the case, to what species did you belong in your former life? And do you have any memories of your previous existence? I certainly do. I’m convinced by my nocturnal visions that I was a prince of the land of the two seas. I had a wife called Betty, but she bailed on me when I was toppled by the rival prince Syko. A grand existence it was too, but my extramarital affairs saw me devolve in my next life into a poor wage slave.
The monos believe in heaven and hell and polys believe in reincarnation, it is a battle of myths, is one myth true and the other myth a lie? I believe that one myth is as good as any other myth. Do good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell? Not according to monos. The submitting monos believe that only the butt sniffers go to heaven even if they rape and pillage their way out of life. The Cross bearers believe that only those who accept the One on the Cross as their savior will go to heaven.
Reincarnation means that you are born and you die then you are born and you die....in a perpetual cycle till you achieve the ultimate realization that you are HIM, He and you are one and the same. All living creatures, including the butt sniffers and the cross bearers go through the same cycle. You have as many chances as you require or want. There is no limit. Everyone will reach her or his ultimate destination. You will arrive by the path of your own choosing and in your time. On the road to Moksha (ultimate freedom) you will come across many temptations, you will astray, also, you will have many great opportunities to be good and do good. The purpose of each life is to sow seeds of goodness.
(2) By the logic of Karma one’s present form is determined by one’s conduct in a former life. What virtuous deeds might I have accomplished then in my previous incarnation as a pond life to earn membership in the proudest, grandest, highest rung of bipedal mammals?
Karma means action or deeds. Each action has reaction. The verb 'karna' means to do. How did you achieve your high bipedal status with a superior intellect? I wish I knew. Anyway, the thinking is that with each reincarnation, you have accumulated more knowledge, like you would going from one grade to the next.
(3) How can I avoid being turned into a donkey in the life hereafter? I’m really worried by this for I sometimes behave like a jackass to my wife and kids.
Simple, stop being a jackass.
(4) What are the major sins in Hinduism?
Interesting question. The only sin in Hinduism is the dereliction of dharma (duty) There is no original sin, there is no sin of disbelief. In Hinduism. there are no kaffirs or infidels. One is dharmic (righteous) or adharmic (not righteous) The word 'dharma' means obligation, the fulfillment of your responsibility towards your parents and siblings, your wife and children and towards your community and country. I am sure you get the drift.
(5) In light of the multiplicity of gods your gang has to offer, if I convert to the truth can I just confine my prayers to the shapely female gods or must I say make nice with the hairy ones too?
I am laughing here, actually. But seriously, whether you pray or not or to who you pray is not important. Your actions and thoughts are important. But if you want to pray, pray by all means; pray to hairy one or pray to buxom ones.
(6) Do Hindus believe in miracles, and if so what are some of them? We know that JC turned water into wine (he was a dipsomaniac) and that Mo split the moon in half. Impressive. What gallant deeds can your faith boast of?
That will do for the present.
There are many miracles
. Miracle of JC or Mo are infantile to say the least. But this is for another day.