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Theme Changer

 Topic: Are blowjobs halal?

 (Read 287999 times)
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  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #150 - March 24, 2013, 07:40 AM
    Well, male vampire hunters anyway.
    Devious, treacherous, murderous, neanderthal, sub-human of the West. bunny
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #151 - March 24, 2013, 08:20 AM
    Quote from: Al-Alethia on March 24, 2013, 06:08 AM
    ^ Apparently Stake and Blowjob Day is the male equivalent of Valentines' Day.


    Fuck Valentines day too then :p .  As if a box of chocolates, roses or perfume = satisfaction.

    How's about cunnilingus and male cleaning day?

    How about making that everyday?  that would be awesome.  I'd feel like a man then.   bunny

    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #152 - March 24, 2013, 08:41 AM
    Quote from: osmanthus on March 24, 2013, 07:40 AM
    Well, male vampire hunters anyway.

    Vampires and stakes I get but how do blowjobs fit into this?
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #153 - March 24, 2013, 11:10 AM
    Quote from: BerberElla on March 24, 2013, 08:20 AM
    Fuck Valentines day too then :p .  As if a box of chocolates, roses or perfume = satisfaction.


    Cheesy

    Quote
    How's about cunnilingus and male cleaning day?

    How about making that everyday?  that would be awesome.  I'd feel like a man then.   bunny




    Be careful what you wish for.
    "I'm standing here like an asshole holding my Charles Dickens"

    "No theory,No ready made system,no book that has ever been written to save the world. i cleave to no system.."-Bakunin
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #154 - March 24, 2013, 11:26 AM
    Here is the official website for stake and bj day.

    http://www.steakandbj.org/

    Complete with blowjob tips, steak recipes and even greeting cards you can give to the special man in your life  grin12 


    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #155 - March 28, 2013, 08:57 PM
    Steak and blowjob?? Why would you want a big piece of meat in your mouth after you've had a big piece of meat in your mouth?  Wink
    "Dont put people in a box, the only people shaped box is a coffin"

    "If God wanted us to believe, he would have given divine guidance to us all"

    "Religion the ultimate hypnosis, the art of convincing people of a fantasy that they believe all their lives"
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #156 - March 29, 2013, 10:55 PM
    ^

    The girl gives the guy a blowjob while he munches on a steak...... That must feel heavenly..... 001_wub 
    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #157 - March 29, 2013, 11:34 PM
    back to the OP, if she was in a hijab, would that make it more halal?  Wink
    "Dont put people in a box, the only people shaped box is a coffin"

    "If God wanted us to believe, he would have given divine guidance to us all"

    "Religion the ultimate hypnosis, the art of convincing people of a fantasy that they believe all their lives"
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #158 - March 30, 2013, 01:22 AM
    i guess she wont have to worry about getting it in her hair Smiley
    Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense. - Voltaire
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #159 - March 31, 2013, 07:32 AM
    LOL

    caex, I've seen a few vids that prove that theory !!  Wink
    "Dont put people in a box, the only people shaped box is a coffin"

    "If God wanted us to believe, he would have given divine guidance to us all"

    "Religion the ultimate hypnosis, the art of convincing people of a fantasy that they believe all their lives"
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #160 - March 31, 2013, 10:02 AM
    ^ There's a niche market for hijabi porn?
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #161 - March 31, 2013, 11:47 AM
    ^

    YUP.   yes

    Just google hijaabi porn.   

    In my opinion a life without curiosity is not a life worth living
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #162 - March 31, 2013, 04:56 PM
    wacko
    Quote from: ZooBear 

    • Surah Al-Fil: In an epic game of Angry Birds, Allah uses birds (that drop pebbles) to destroy an army riding elephants whose intentions were to destroy the Kaaba. No one has beaten the high score.

  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #163 - April 01, 2013, 12:34 AM
     vomit
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #164 - June 05, 2013, 12:02 PM
    dat precious sperm is for making babies only!  finmad

    LOL, hijab porn? Doesn't surprise me.  Has no one heard of Rule 34 of the internet? If it exists, there is porn of it - no exceptions.
    "If a monster existed, it was buried deep within."
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #165 - October 26, 2013, 07:57 PM
    Are blowjobs halal? Only if there is a molvi reciting kalimas etc whilst in the presence of said fellatio.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #166 - October 26, 2013, 07:58 PM
    Money shot - Ameen

    Nowadays the money shot is a thing of the past. It is anywhere but in the air in the 21st century.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #167 - October 26, 2013, 08:16 PM
    Quote from: TheDarkRebel on March 29, 2013, 10:55 PM
    ^

    The girl gives the guy a blowjob while he munches on a steak...... That must feel heavenly..... 001_wub 

     Wink
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #168 - October 26, 2013, 08:23 PM
    Describe your worst ever blow-job?

    Fricken brilliant.

    My worse one was when I was drunk and loving it and had serious burn from the radiator I was leaning on at the time. Burn.
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #169 - October 26, 2013, 08:25 PM
    BJ and the Bear
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3GpxAyM6yc
    I am my own worst enemy and best friend, itsa bit of a squeeze in a three-quarter bed, tho. Unhinged!? If I was a dog I would be having kittens, that is unhinged. Footloose n fancy free, forced to fit, fated to fly. One or 2 words, 3 and 3/thirds, looking comely but lonely, till I made them homely.D
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #170 - December 20, 2013, 03:17 PM
    Dunno about quran but found this in the bible.

    Ezekiel 23:19-21:
    "Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled"

    "Oholibah Does Bethlehem" will be out on DVD shortly, available in all good (and bad) adult film stores. PHWOARRR!!!

    (btw bible god's response to this act, in his benevolence, was to order that her nose and ears are cut off)

    I am better than your god......and so are you.

    "Is the man who buys a magic rock, really more gullible than the man who buys an invisible magic rock?.......,...... At least the first guy has a rock!"
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #171 - December 20, 2013, 03:29 PM
    on a related topic, I found this, you guys may know if it already but I have only just found it, so sorry if this is old news.

    http://halalgoogling.com/

    Seems to filter out an non-Islamic subjects. Talk about hiding dissenting ideas from the sheeple.

    To give you an idea of how strict it is, I typed in the work 'fuck' (just to test its efficacy) and it came back with NO results, at all.

    For comparison I typed 'fuck' into normal google and I had 28million hits........just going through them all now ....for (ahem) 'research purposes' you understand.  whistling2

    Happy Christmas everyone!!!

    Just looked up what words are haram and which are halal. (please excuse my rude language below, but this is a scientific experiment)

    Haram: Fuck, shit, tits, cock, c*nt, boobs, CEMB

    Halal: Atheist Experience, Richard Dawkins, Wank, Bollocks

    Seems like it is letting in some rude words, needs more work I guess

    Soooo. to summarize......... Wanking is IN (I am not aware it was ever out of fashion?).......and Tits are OUT (....for the lads, I imagine)

    Have fun and see what you can or cant find!!!

    I am better than your god......and so are you.

    "Is the man who buys a magic rock, really more gullible than the man who buys an invisible magic rock?.......,...... At least the first guy has a rock!"
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #172 - December 20, 2013, 11:19 PM
    Quote from: Adey5 on December 20, 2013, 03:17 PM
    Dunno about quran but found this in the bible.

    Ezekiel 23:19-21:
    "Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled"





    The Songs of Solomon is worth a read.
    `But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
     `Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: `we're all mad here. I'm mad.  You're mad.'
     `How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
     `You must be,' said the Cat, `or you wouldn't have come here.'
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #173 - January 11, 2015, 02:32 PM
    Only if bismillah is said before blowing.
    My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #174 - January 11, 2015, 02:36 PM
    I've noticed that this thread is very popular with the guests Wink
    My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #175 - January 11, 2015, 02:44 PM
    Quote from: Cokerface on February 23, 2011, 10:50 AM
    Those Western people are accustomed to stripping naked during sexual intercourse.


    What planet is Qaradawi on?!!
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #176 - January 11, 2015, 02:50 PM
    Not one with naked sex, clearly.   Tongue

    Quote from: Qtian on January 11, 2015, 02:36 PM
    I've noticed that this thread is very popular with the guests Wink


    I am sure this thread was found to be THE most popular thread of all time, for guests.  Grin
    Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit.
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #177 - January 11, 2015, 02:52 PM
    We should create a whole host of halal inspired sexual threads, CEMB will be mainstream soon.
    My mind runs, I can never catch it even if I get a head start.
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #178 - January 11, 2015, 03:50 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on January 11, 2015, 02:50 PM
    Not one with naked sex, clearly.   Tongue


    lol... clearly.

    These clerics are so out of touch with even their own people - let alone the rest of the world.
  • Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #179 - January 12, 2015, 02:24 PM
    Quote from: BerberElla on March 24, 2013, 08:20 AM
    Fuck Valentines day too then :p .  As if a box of chocolates, roses or perfume = satisfaction.

    How's about cunnilingus and male cleaning day?

    How about making that everyday?  that would be awesome.  I'd feel like a man then.   bunny




    Oral sex is like Christmas..... It's always better to give than to receive. Afro
    I am better than your god......and so are you.

    "Is the man who buys a magic rock, really more gullible than the man who buys an invisible magic rock?.......,...... At least the first guy has a rock!"
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