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Theme Changer

 Topic: Are blowjobs halal?

 (Read 287548 times)
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  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #60 - March 28, 2011, 02:48 PM

    Brother, considering are private parts are not clean, can you please tell me why you bother washing them after you use the toilet?

    these question are from shaitain,like i say its rule from allah,our job is not to question everything like a devil,we have to obey if we want heaven
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #61 - March 28, 2011, 02:49 PM

    Can you ejaculate in her mouth or do you need to do the ol' coitus interruptus? What would the Allah Almighty prefer?

    you can do whatever as long as is halal relatsioonship
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #62 - March 28, 2011, 02:50 PM

    Animals have vaginal intercourse too, just pointing out the fallacious logic here.

    where did i say they dont
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #63 - March 29, 2011, 04:10 PM

    Am sure you would, what about the anal apple?  Cheesy


    Depends.
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #64 - March 29, 2011, 04:20 PM

    these question are from shaitain,like i say its rule from allah,our job is not to question everything like a devil,we have to obey if we want heaven


    There are so many things wrong with your post I don't know where to start.

    1) Prove these questions are from shaytan.
    2) Prove it's a rule from Allah
    3) Explain why our job is not to question everything

    One thing you have gotten right though is that Islam is this: "we have to obey and we will get to heaven". To be a true Muslim, you have to suspend your god-given frontal lobes, all critical thinking is placed on the back burner and you just input the bullshit data (Qur'an, hadiths, tafsirs) and auto-pilot your way through life hoping to get to the gardens of hooris. But similar to computing, if you put bullshit data in, you get bullshit data out.

    Brother, this whole thread is just one example of how Muslims cannot think for themselves. When there is no answer, they panic, they argue, they say that the question is, by default from "shaytaan". So any question Allah has refused to answer is from shaytaan? Is this a general rule? Every aspect of your life, no matter how ridiculously small and trivial, is submitted to Allah, Muhammad or the ulama classes for a verdict. Everything from wiping your ass with which hand, to washing yourself, to whether you should step into your house with your right foot or left foot, to which finger nail to trim first.

    I genuinely feel pity for you.
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #65 - March 29, 2011, 04:20 PM

    Billions of people have oral sex, anal sex, armpit sex, belly-button sex, whatever the fuck sex they want to have every day and night and they enjoy it safely and cleanly. If those sex acts were unclean or dirty people wouldn't do them, but they do, and live healthy clean lives.

    Why would anyone get neurotic about that and argue about it on a forum in disgust.

    "we can smell traitors and country haters"


    God is Love.
    Love is Blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God.

  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #66 - March 29, 2011, 04:25 PM

    Because God loves you, and he cares about your genitals.

    Too fucking busy, and vice versa.
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #67 - March 29, 2011, 04:27 PM

     Cheesy

    Admin of following facebook pages and groups:
    Islam's Last Stand (page)
    Islam's Last Stand (group)
    and many others...
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #68 - March 29, 2011, 04:31 PM

    Very funny what you say about G-d and genitalia.

    I was wondering if -o- of the Koran (i.e. A--ah) loves people (I forgot if I have read such ayats) or is it a hadith fabrication?

    "That it is indeed the speech of an illustrious messenger" (The Koran 69:40)
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #69 - March 29, 2011, 08:30 PM

    Eliphaz said it best.

    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #70 - April 01, 2011, 01:34 AM

    There are so many things wrong with your post I don't know where to start.

    1) Prove these questions are from shaytan.
    2) Prove it's a rule from Allah
    3) Explain why our job is not to question everything

    One thing you have gotten right though is that Islam is this: "we have to obey and we will get to heaven". To be a true Muslim, you have to suspend your god-given frontal lobes, all critical thinking is placed on the back burner and you just input the bullshit data (Qur'an, hadiths, tafsirs) and auto-pilot your way through life hoping to get to the gardens of hooris. But similar to computing, if you put bullshit data in, you get bullshit data out.

    Brother, this whole thread is just one example of how Muslims cannot think for themselves. When there is no answer, they panic, they argue, they say that the question is, by default from "shaytaan". So any question Allah has refused to answer is from shaytaan? Is this a general rule? Every aspect of your life, no matter how ridiculously small and trivial, is submitted to Allah, Muhammad or the ulama classes for a verdict. Everything from wiping your ass with which hand, to washing yourself, to whether you should step into your house with your right foot or left foot, to which finger nail to trim first.

    I genuinely feel pity for you.

    you should have read the quran more because all the answwers you have asked for are already in there,people should really learn more about islam because if they do they will never leave it..

    1-is in the quran, 22:53 "he thus sets up the devil's scheme as a test for those who harbor doubts in their hearts and those whose hearts are hardened."
    2-is in the quran,and you can open a new thread if you want to discuss why quran is from allah,i can answer..
    3-is explained in the same verse, and also the one next to it, 22:54 "Those who are blessed with knowledge will recognize the truth from your lord,then believe in it,and their hearts will readily accept it."

    also this one:
    5:101-102 " O ye who believe! Ask not questions about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble....A people before you indeed asked such questions, and then became disbelievers on account of them."
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #71 - April 01, 2011, 04:54 AM

    you should have read the quran more because all the answwers you have asked for are already in there,people should really learn more about islam because if they do they will never leave it..

    Reading the mind-numbing crap of the Qur'an resulted in a new disdain for "revealed" religions.

    "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well."
    - Robert Louis Stevenson
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #72 - June 10, 2011, 08:42 PM

    "I believe there is a dispute amongst the scholars on this matter. Perhaps you can enlighten us with your ilm. Thats Arabic for knowledge. You see, I like to use Arabic words for no reason whatesover too."

    LOL. Yeah, that's fun.

    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #73 - June 10, 2011, 08:46 PM

    Blow Job = Al'Amal Al Motafajjer

    Funny that is sounds like Al 'Amal Al Fajer = (not literally, I'm not being serious here) The Shameful Job!  Roll Eyes

    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #74 - June 10, 2011, 08:48 PM

    also this one:
    5:101-102 " O ye who believe! Ask not questions about things which, if made plain to you, may cause you trouble....A people before you indeed asked such questions, and then became disbelievers on account of them."


    O ye who believe! Open not your minds or else the blind fold of my lies will be taken off your eyes!

    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #75 - June 10, 2011, 08:51 PM

    Now I don't understand something I think. We are all ex-Muslims or infidels here. So what's the point if anything is halal here?

    Religion is organized superstition
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #76 - June 10, 2011, 08:55 PM

    Why should it matter: Who would want to get a cock shoved down his/her throat? What carnal pleasure people derive from this despicable act anyway? I can't possibly understand how people could ever be willing to engage in this lowish act of flesh.

    SAY "NO" TO BlOWJOBS.
    Cheers.


    I do. Obviously you've never tried it, so don't knock it till then Wink


    Haha, yes, Naerys is right! I would too! Don't hate on it until you've tried it! I think oral sex is amazing and The Cunnilingus is the greatest concept ever known to man (and lesbian woman).

    Speaking of cunnilingus, one thing that gave me quite a shock was when I read in Sahih Bukhari about Abu Bakr saying to one of those dirty kuffaar "SUCK ON THE CLITORIS OF AL-LAAT!". Awesome comeback, but not very Islamic.

    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #77 - June 10, 2011, 09:07 PM

    You can't be serious, harakaat?

    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #78 - June 10, 2011, 09:08 PM

    Now I don't understand something I think. We are all ex-Muslims or infidels here. So what's the point if anything is halal here?

    It's to wonder what the Muslims are up to these days. Same as asking is masturbation halal  wacko

    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #79 - June 10, 2011, 09:17 PM

    You can't be serious, harakaat?


    About my sexual deviance? Entirely serious! About Abu Bakr's sexual deviance? Entirely serious! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/46/Oral_Sex_in_Sahih_Al-Bukhari.JPG

    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #80 - June 10, 2011, 09:26 PM

    Omsos Badhr Al-Lat???

    SHIT!

    WTF?

     mysmilie_977

    I'm open for debate (of why we should re-/embrace Islam), but I will no longer participate in this forum. Message me if you need anything. Good luck and may you all find your way... again...
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #81 - June 10, 2011, 09:27 PM

    ^ My reaction exactly. I was stunned.


    ...


    And turned on, admittedly Tongue

    قل للمليحة في الخمار الأسود
    مـاذا فـعــلت بــناسـك مـتـعـبد

    قـد كـان شـمّر لــلـصلاة ثـيابه
    حتى خـطرت له بباب المسجد

    ردي عليـه صـلاتـه وصيـامــه
    لا تـقــتـلــيه بـحـق ديــن محمد
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #82 - June 10, 2011, 11:01 PM

    Islam respects other religions?

    This is what Abu Bakr (Aisha's dad & one of Mo's closest & respected companions) said to Urwa bin Masud Thaqafi after she chose remain a non-believing kaffir

    “Suck the vagina of Allat”

    Looks like things havent changed much in 1400 years.

    (*Allat=daughter of Allah, one of the three female pagan Gods)
    (Sahih Bukhari, Kitab al Sharut [Conditions], Book: al-Sharut fil Jihad [Conditions for Jihad], Hadith 2770 )

    My Book     news002       
    My Blog  pccoffee
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #83 - July 06, 2011, 11:09 AM

    the thread title is just priceless. blowjobs haram?  Cheesy

    sexuality and islam is a topic that is rather boring. get married do what you wish, find a verse or two in the quran to support it. then add some hadiths too.
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #84 - July 06, 2011, 12:00 PM

    WHO STARTED THIS? WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE QUESTION IS THIS??  finmad
    Quote
     Are blowjobs halal?

    Who cares?  ..  I didn't punish Allah  for  sending Jibreel to blow.  
    Quote
    021.091: And she who guarded her chastity, so We breathed into her of Our inspiration and made her and her son a sign for the nations.

    066.012 : And Marium, the daughter of Imran, who guarded her chastity, so We breathed into her of Our inspiration and she accepted the truth of the words of her Lord and His books, and she was of, the obedient ones.

    Bulh shit and rubbish

    I don't care., and no one should care as long as the blower and the one  getting blowed is not complaining. it is none of your business, none of my business and it is NOT ALLAH business..

    Silly people, you don't understand what Allah is saying through Muhammad PBUHS Mouth .,  you are  talking nonsense & writing nonsense..

     1400 years of nonsense. no one dare to correct the damn thing..  

    Do not let silence become your legacy.. Question everything   
    I renounced my faith to become a kafir, 
    the beloved betrayed me and turned in to  a Muslim
     
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #85 - July 06, 2011, 06:02 PM

    This is the most hilarious subject ever.

    I feel sorry for anyone who believes oral sex is wrong (or disgusting - those are just the ignorant, and people who never tried it), and moreso that they have religion dictate their personal life in such a way.

    Rather be forgotten than remembered for giving in.
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #86 - August 25, 2012, 09:02 AM

    Quote
    Etiquette and Timing of Lovemaking

    There is very important advice that Rasulollah (S) has given to Imam Ali (AS) which has significant outcomes, and this is given below in full.

    As can be seen from the following hadith, the date and time of the intercourse and therefore conception has a direct and defining impact on the character of the child conceived.

    (A) Dates and times when lovemaking is Makruh (undesirable)

    1.     Do not have intercourse with your wife on the First, Middle, and Last day of the (lunar) month, for it will hasten mental illness and leprosy for her and her child.

    2.     Do not have intercourse with your wife in the after noon, for if a child were conceived at that time, s/he would be cross-eyed, and the Shaytaan is pleased when a human is cross-eyed.

    3.     Do not speak while lovemaking, for if a child were conceived, he would not be immune from being dumb.

    4.     One should not look into his wife's vagina for this brings about blindness (in the child).

    5.     Do not make love with your wife with the desire of and lust for another woman (in your mind), for I fear that if a male child were conceived at that moment he would be Mukhannath (one who desires other men to have sex with him), effeminate, and stupid.

    6.     One who is in the status of Junub in bed with wife should not read the Qur'an for I fear that fire might descend upon them and burn them.

    7.     Do not make love unless each of you has a piece of cloth to clean yourselves with.  For if you use the same cloth, enmity would befall between you and this brings about separation and divorce.

    8.     Do not have intercourse with your wife standing up, for this is the conduct of the donkey, and if a child were conceived (in that state) s/he would urinate in bed, just as the donkey urinates everywhere.

    9.     Do not make love with your wife on the eve of Eid-ul-Fitr, for if a child were conceived as a result, that child would not be but evildoer.

    10. Do not make love with your wife on the eve of Eid-ul-Adhha (Eid-e-Qurban), for if a child were conceived as a result, that child would have either six fingers or four.

    11. Do not make love with your wife under a fruit-bearing tree, for if a child were conceived as a result, s/he would be torturer, or a murderer or a spy (for an oppressive government against the Mu'minin.)

    12. Do not make love with your wife under direct sunshine, unless you set up a screen to cover you up, for if a child were conceived as a result, s/he will continue to live in poverty until s/he dies.

    13. Do not make love with your wife between the Athaan and the Iqamah, for if a child were conceived as a result, s/he would be eager to shed blood.

    14. If your wife were pregnant, do not make love with her unless you have Wudhu, otherwise the child would be blind-hearted and stingy.

    15. Do not make love with your wife on the eve of mid-Sha'baan, for if a child were conceived as a result, the child would be disfigured with large spots on his face.

    16. Do not make love with your wife if there were two days left to the (lunar) month, for if a child were conceived as a result, s/he would be ‘Ashshaar (inspector/collector of tax (which is illegal from the Islamic point of view)), or an assistant to the oppressor, and many people would perish at their hands.

    17. Do not make love with your wife on the roof top of a building, for if a child were conceived as a result, s/he would be hypocrite, showoff, and commit Bid'ah.

    18. If you have travelled, do not make love with your wife on that night, for if a child were conceived as a result, s/he would give his/her money in a false way, [then Rasulollah (S) recited] {Verily the spendthrifts are the brothers of the Satans.} (17:27).

    19. Do not make love with your wife if you are on a journey of three days and nights, for if a child were conceived as a result, s/he would be helper and assistant to ever oppressor.


    (B) Dates and times when lovemaking is Mustahab (desirable)

    1.     O Ali!  You are highly encouraged to make love on the eve of Monday, for if a child were conceived, s/he would be a memoriser (Hafiz) of the Book of Allah, and pleased with whatever Allah has bestowed upon him/her.

    2.     If you make love with your wife on the eve of Tuesday and a child were conceived, s/he would be bestowed the Martyrdom, after the declaration of “There is no god but Allah, Muhammad is Rasulollah”, and Allah would not punish him with the polytheists.  Her/his mouth would smell pleasant, s/he would be kindhearted, generous and freehanded, her/his tongue would be pure from backbite, lie, and accusation.

    3.     If you make love with your wife on the eve of Thursday and a child were conceived, s/he would be one of the rulers, or one of the scholars.

    4.     If you make love with your wife on Thursday when the sun passes the middle of the sky (after noon), and a child were conceived, s/he would be less prone to the temptations of the Shaytaan.  S/he would be intelligent and Allah Exalted and Praised is He would bestow upon her/him health and safety in the Deen and the material life.

    5.     And if you make love to your wife on the eve of Friday, and there were a child conceived, s/he would be an eloquent lecturer / preacher.

    6.     And if you make love to your wife on Friday afternoon, and there were a child conceived, s/he would be a renowned scholar.

    7.     And if you make love to your wife on the eve of Friday, after the ‘Eshaa' and there were a child conceived, it is hoped that InSha'Allah s/he would be one of the ABDAAL (i.e. those pious individuals that the earth is never without one, if one of them dies another would replace him.)

    8.     Do not make love to your wife during the first hour of the night, for if there were a child conceived, it is feared that s/he would be a sorcerer, swindler who prefers this world to the hereafter.

    Remember and keep this advice from me, just as I have remembered and kept it from my brother Jibra'il.”

    ImamShirazi.com
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #87 - August 25, 2012, 11:10 AM

    Complete Control.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeTw_p_WglY
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #88 - August 26, 2012, 09:47 AM



    That was fascinating, thanks.

    So if my husband makes love to me on a Friday afternoon, our child will be a renowned scholar. However, s/he will also be cross-eyed, beloved by the devil. Subhaanallah.

    He's no friend to the friendless
    And he's the mother of grief
    There's only sorrow for tomorrow
    Surely life is too brief
  • Re: Are blowjobs halal?
     Reply #89 - August 26, 2012, 10:53 AM

    There is always a guest looking at this thread
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