Hello from Holland, no longer on the fence
OP - January 16, 2011, 01:16 PM
Hello friends,
This is Mathmadx, I live in the Netherlands(Turkish descent) and I registered here to share a view ideas with you, as undoubtedly you can help me.
As you might guess, I have problems with Islam. I can't say anymore I am a doubting Muslim, as the falseness of Islam is very clear, and that those who can't accept that Islam(+all other religions) are all manmade, hold on to religion because of tradition, peerpressure and fear of death. ( ironically, the Qur'an talks about how clear the religion is, but the majority doesn't believe as they are too arrogant.. LOL)
So, this renders me an apostate, a murtadd, I even shiver when writing that word, - with how much fear and hatred I had been instilled " those kuffaar, those munafiqoon, those murtadds: Allah shall deal with them, for them an everlasting torture is prepared" etc etc.
No need to explain the extreme brainwashing Muslims are subject to,- which in fact catalyzes doubt. Just like the concept of an eternal hell works counterproductive. In fact, that was one of the first things I doubted ( and once I started doubted one of the tenets of Islam, the rest followed like an avalanche.)
Anyway, although I don't think I can ever "re"vert, I do think my mind might change as I will see my loved friends, family die and I will be left powerless against the the undisputable strongest argument for Islam: the existence and the mysteriousness of death. But this is just a slim chance.
The problem is that my family (Turkish) is very devout(5x praying/day etc) , and there is an extreme hate and prejudice against non-Muslims , (Again, you might imagine how it is like): Explaining them I no longer believe all those stupid stories in the Qur'an would cause my father to get an heartattack(no kidding) and my mother has already cancer so let's not even go into that. Not to mention they certainly want that I marry a Muslim girl,- so ideally I should try to find an ex-Muslim girl who struggles with the same questions. As I wouldn't be able to get along with a Muslim, and my parents would immediately know I am not a Muslim if I'd want to marry a kafir .
I am confused, sad, depressed, but at the same time I am overjoyed and excited by seeing the big picture:
In some way or the other , we the humans Homo Sapiens, came into existence, we became conscious wise beings and began wondering about the big picture: Why do we exist? There MUST be something bigger to it, except for eating/sleeping/reproducing. Why does this ALL exist? And there you have it.. For thousands and thousands of years people have wondered about this very fundamental questions, science has made enormous breakthroughs, yet our understanding of "why this all exist/what happena after death" is virtually the same ..
Topic: Hello from Holland, no longer on the fence